


I Hate Politics

by h0tch_r0cket



Category: CriminalMinds
Genre: Episode: s04e03 Minimal Loss, Episode: s06e17 Valhalla, Episode: s06e18 Lauren, F/M, Fluff, attempt on smut, mention of derek and savannah, mention of galvez, mention of jemily, sum jemily stuff cause why not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:46:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 28
Words: 87,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27265201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/h0tch_r0cket/pseuds/h0tch_r0cket
Summary: You’re a genius alongside Spencer Reid. It was your one year anniversary with the BAU when you got a case in your home town. A little town in no where Connecticut. What happens when you’re up one late night, who joins you outside?I don't own the character except y/n and the story itself.
Relationships: hotchxreader
Comments: 7
Kudos: 90





	1. One Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This first case that the team is gonna go on is from another story I read intelligence & issues by QuickCharade it’s so good and i wanted to put my own spin on it

Today was the day that marks one year since you've been on the team. One Birthday. One Christmas. One thanksgiving. And all the other holidays in between. It felt more than a year since you blessed the team with your genius.

You were the second youngest member to have ever joined the FBI let alone the BAU. You and Reid often had a debate about who was smarter.

Your IQ was at 192 compared to his 187. Yet he could read 500 more words a minute. Among the same amount of PhDs you and eidetic memories, you both called it a tie. The team was thankful for that. They were tired of having you both go on and on one topic seeing who knew more.

Unlike Reid, your could read social cues and knew when to stop. You knew when people needed statistics or a shoulder to cry on. You were normal compared to Reid's robot ways.

But this day was special to you. You were able to handle the most gruesome cases and still came in the next day. Everyone says the first year is always the hardest. Some people weren't cut out for the FBI but you knew you could handle it.

If people only looked at your file they won't think you could do it either. A girl from a small town. Graduate college when she was 18.

You certainly had a wide range of knowledge that could accommodate everyone on the team. You could talk to Reid about practically anything and not have to take a breath.

Morgan and Rossi with sports, but unlike Reid you knew what they were talking about.

You've had lengthy conversations with Penelope about how she came up with the software for her computer system.

JJ with the way the media may react to updates about cases.

You talked to Emily about all the different places she's been. You haven't been there but you've read so much about them it felt like you have.

That all left Hotch. He was difficult unlike the rest of the team. He was more closed off. He was hard to read. You did have your times when you got through to him. But you were 99% sure he only saw you as the new girl. Half his age. Bubbly.

However, being new to the team didn't stop you from thinking about your boss more than half the time. Even though he was harder to read than everyone else you guys were closer than you'd like to admit. No one notices it, well to your knowledge. You and Hotch had run into each other at a coffee shop that was a block from your house and surprisingly close to his. Whenever you saw each other there you would take a minute to talk to each other. You could see he was slightly uncomfortable with the interaction but never stopped them.

You were pretty sure that no one knew was your one year and that was ok. But when you walked up to your desk you saw a small Bouquet and a sticky note that read: _Congrats on dealing with us for a whole year -Derek._

You smile and turn to Derek who had been watching you since you walked in.

"Thank you." You said and hugged him before putting your bag down.

"Anytime girl wonder." Ah, the nickname. The nickname was the least favorite part of the job. There were so many other things he could call you. But since you and Reid argued the true meaning of documentaries you guys had watched, that had become your nickname.

You pushed the flowers to the corner of your desk. You got up to get some coffee because you needed a minute to soak in the view. Everything looked new and shiny again, like your first day. Before you had a chance to think back to your first day Hotch's voice boomed through the bullpen.

"We got a case." He announced and walked to Rossi's office. You finished fixing your coffee and head to the briefing room. You were the first one in. You saw Penelope standing by the TV remote already in hand.

"Congratulations!" She almost yelled at the sight of you.

"Thank you." You said and walked over to hug her. Penelope's hugs were always the best. A big bear hug as you described it.

"Why are we hugging?" Emily asked. You opened your mouth to say something but Penelope beat you to it.

"It's Y/N's one year!" She exclaimed again.

"It's who's one year?" JJ said walking in alongside the rest of the team.

"Y/N's," Emily repeated to JJ. Everyone's faces lit up and had a group hug. You even saw a little smirk come from Hotch. Rossi kissed your forehead and mumbled something in Italian.

"Congrats," Hotch said and took his usual seat not joining in the group hug.

"Thank you, all of you." You said and took your seat and everyone followed your lead.

"Ok crime fighters. It looks like your guys are jetting off to the small town of Stars Hollow, Connecticut. That very very very small town that housed our very own Y/N L/N until the ripe age of 18. She-"

"Penelope the case," You remind her.

"Right. There have been a string of suicides that have happened within the past 2 weeks."

"How many are we talking about?" Derek asked.

"3," Penelope said and kept giving the details. You focus your attention on the case file in front of you. The victim looked just like you. Same hair color and hair type. Same eye color. They were the same age as you when you were in college. Maybe you knew them, maybe you guys crossed paths. It was understandable you grew up in the same place, a few blocks away.

"Y/N." Hotch's deep voice brought you out of the trans.

"What?" You looked at your team confused.

"Are you ok?" Hotch whispered so it was only you that could hear. His voice sent shivers down your spine, you sat up straight and answered.

"I'm fine." You whispered back.

"Do you know them?" Derek asked.

"Uh- I don't know. I mean their faces look familiar, maybe I've passed them while walking around town but I didn't know them directly."

"Does this kinda stuff happen?" You laugh your yourself.

"It never happens, people don't talk about that kinda stuff." You paused. "They don't talk about mental illnesses, if you can't see it then it doesn't exist."

"Do you think these could be murders?" Reid asked.

"I have no clue because I don't think that there could be a murder among them. Even if no one admits it there is a chance that they could be suicides. But I don't know what could've gotten them to that point."

"Well that's what we're gonna find out, wheels up is 30," Hotch said and the team stood up and walked out of them.

All you guys were on the jet your head was in your hands. You were going home. You were gonna see the people that you grew up with.

"You're nervous to go back home?" Derek asked across from you.

"Terrified."

"Why?" He asked.

"I haven't been home since I graduated." Were all you said and your phone dinged You had informed your mom that you were coming home for a case. She texted you back saying something about having dinner before you left. Your face had no emotion.

"What happened?" Derek asked.

"My mom, she wants to have dinner before we leave. I don't know how to say sorry mom my boss is kind of an ass sometimes and I don't know if I'll be able to see you."

"I head that," Hotch said from behind you. Your eye widened a bit.

"Yeah, I meant for you to hear it." You tighten your jaw not knowing what else to say. Derek folded his lips together trying to laugh.

"Oops." You whisper and banged your head on the table.

~~~~~

Hotch had instructed you had him go to your college cause it seems all the girls had been going there as well. You jump into the car and on the road you were. You guys say in comfortable silence for a good amount of time until he said something.

"I don't mind if you have dinner it's your mother before we leave. I wouldn't mind if you wanted to stay with her while we're here." Hotch tried to clear the air.

"Thank you, sir." You looked at your hands as if they were the most intriguing thing in the world.

"You don't have to call me sir when there's no one around."

"I know, thank you. Also I might actually say with my mom. She wants to see me the most she can." He nodded.

"How long has it been since you've visited."

"Since I graduated." You said.

"Why so long?"

"This town, I love 'em. I just needed a break you know? Here everyone knows everyone and there's no way around that. Everyone knows your business. No privacy. You break up with your boyfriend, everyone knows about it. Your dad leaves, everyone knows about it." You stop abruptly and turn to look out the window. You wipe away the tears that had fallen.

"How old were you even he left?" He glanced at you.

"16." You said and sucked back the other tears.

"Y/N." His voice was soft. He pulled over and turned to face you.

"I'm fine." You licked your lips trying to convince yourself too.

"It's ok if your not." He said and placed a hand in your shoulder.

"It's was 10 years ago. I'm fine."

"Ok." His hand fell to your back and you slightly flinched at the movement. "We're just gonna sit right here for a second." He said sat there and watched you as your whipped your face again and calmed down. Once he was sure you were ok he started to drive again. You guys say in silence again until you reached the campus. It was bigger then you remembered. He parked the car and you jumped out. You took in the view of the building.

"Look different?" He asked.

"Bigger." He raised his eyebrows.

"What?" you asked him.

"Normally people say it looks smaller because they grew up but ok." He said and started to walk towards the building.

"Where are you going?" You asked.

"The office." He answered with kind of a duh tone.

"It's fast if we go this way." You point and started walking. You pushed through the doors and saw a few kids walking around. You turn down a few hallways and into the office you were.

"Is that Y/N all grown up?" Miranda asked.

"Yes it is." You said and hugged the small women. Hotch stood behind you and watched the interaction.

"Hotch this is Miranda, she's the main secretary here. I talked to her a whole bunch when I was going to school here." He nodded.

"Miranda, this is Agent Aaron Hotchner."

"What the hell did you do?" She asked and looked at Hotch.

"We're here on a case." You said and showered her your badge.

"Oh, look at your in the FBI all grown up. It's not how I remember you?"

"Well the last time you saw me I was 18 so." You smiled. Hotch cleared his throat.

"Right. We're here for the case of the recent suicides." You we're getting down to business.

"I figured." Miranda asked and went back to her desk.

"Did you know the victims?" Hotch finally spoke up. His deep voice caught them both off guard.

"Uh, everyone did. You know how this town works."

"I know. By any chance can we get their files." She nodded and started to make her way upstairs.

"I'm gonna go see if the security cameras saw then leave with somebody." Hotch said and walked out.

"He's very commanding." Miranda said and walked to her office.

"I know." You sat done in front of the desk. You watched as she shuffled through the files on her desk and through the cabinets.

"So how have you been?" She asked you.

"Better since the last time I was here." You stiffen at the remind of the last time you were here.

"That's good. Got a boyfriend yet?" She smirked.

"No, not yet." You smiled.

"What about your partner there, what's his name?

"Hotch?" She nodded. And you opened your mouth not knowing what to say. "He's my boss."

"And?" She shrugged her shoulders.

"And he's twice my age."

"So what, older guys have not common sense."

"Miranda." You were shocked at the conversation you were having with her.

"Y/N the way he looks at you... I won't be surprised."

"The way he looks at me?" You questioned.

"The whole time we talked his eyes never left you. He was watching you like a hawk Y/N." No he wasn't. Even if he was it was probably because of what happened in the car. You thought to yourself.

"Don't be embarrassed. I'm married to a man 9 years older then me." She said and showed her ring.

"Yeah I know, but he's not 14 years older then you."

"He might as well be, I won't care." 

"But I can be have a quarter life crisis and he's at home with his 8 year old about to turn 40." You said and threw your hands up.

"Maybe he could be your quarter life crisis." She smirked and there was a sound of Hotch clearing his throat again. You closed your eyes in embarrassment not knowing how much he has heard.

"Security didn't have anything." He said and walked into the room. There was no way to explain the conversation so you went back into profiler mode.

"Did the girls have any boyfriends?" You questioned and starting looking through the files that she placed in front of you.

"Alyssa and Christina did. But these girl don't tell me everything. I would find them holding hand with some guy in the hall and they would be scared shitless. Like when I found out about you and Ben." Your eyes widened at the memory.

"Who's Ben?" Hotch questioned from the corner of the room.

"He was Y/N boyfriend for like 2 years." She shot her the shut-the-fuck look.

"Do we need to talk to him?"

"No!" You responded so fast.

"Well..." Miranda chimed in. "He is a T.A. here and was in some of the girls classes. So you might want to."

"Ok then." His voice was stiff. Mad. Actually, he sounded jealous when she mentioned it.

"Thank you." Hotch said and started to walk out.

"Can I take these files for now and bring them back later?"

"Of course pumpkin, it was good seeing you again." She said. You took the files off her desk and walked out with Hotch. You guys made it back to the car when you realized you forgot one. You walked back up to Merandas office to grab it but on your way down you heard his voice.

"Y/N? Is that you?" Bens voice made you stop in your tracks immediately.

"Hey Ben." You smiled lightly.

"Hi, how have you been?"

"Good, I work for the FBI now." You said and fled the up the file.

"So you did go through with that." He said and laughed.

"Yeah, no thanks to you." His face fell at your comment.

"I was being realistic." He said.

"You were being an asshole." You were getting mad.

"Look I was trying to do what I thought was best for you ok." He took a step closer and you took and step back.

"Yeah you telling me my dream was bullshit wasn't in my best interest." You face hadn't changed.

"Well you were such a little bi-"

"I advise you walk away before finished the rest of that sentence." You heard Hotch voice come around the corner. You were annoyed but thankful that we was everywhere.

"Who the hell are you?" Ben asked.

"I'm the guy that gonna beat your ass if you lay a hand on my agent." Hotch said and looked down at Ben. There was a noticeable height difference. Hotch towered over him. With out another word Ben walked away.

"Are you ok?" Hotch asked.

"I'm fine." You said. You still haven't moved.

"I take it that's Ben." Hotch added.

"Uh-huh." You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. Hotch took a minute to examine your body language.

"Can you save your questions for later please?" You asked and made your way to the car.

~~~~~

All the victims had so many things in common. They were in the same classes. We're gonna get the same degree. They were all straight A students. There were to many similarities. You look at your watch and it read 9:45pm.

"Alright everyone, it's getting late. Let go get some rest and come back with fresh eyes tomorrow." Hotch said from the head of the table. Everyone nodded. You were last one to finish packing up.

"So you gonna stay with your mom?" Hotch asked. You thought he has already left.

"Um, yeah. I was gonna start walking." You said and grabbed your bag.

"Walk?" He questioned.

"Yeah. She only lives a few blocks from here. It'll take me like 10 minutes." You said.

"Your not walking." Hotch said.

"Why not?"

"Becuase there is a serial killer out there hunting girls that look just like you."

"There might not even be a serial killer." You reminded him.

"Yeah well we're not gonna take that chance." He said sternly.

"What do you suggest I do then?" You asked.

"I'm gonna drop you off." He said.

"Hotch you don't need to do that."

"Well your not gonna walk." He said and you followed him to the car. You started to give him the directions on where to turn. You pull up to your mom house. It wasn't the biggestbut it was decently sized. The porch lights were still on which meant she was still awake. You grab your go-bag from the back seat and walked up to the door. You mom had the biggest smile.

"My baby." She wrapped her arms around you. You unlatched yourself from her and waved at Hotch telling him your were ok. You shut the door and watched as the lights disappeared.

"Who was that?" Your mom asked.

"Hotch."

"Boss man?" She asked again. You nodded. You threw your bag on the couch and walk to the kitchen were there was a glass of whine waiting for you.

"Ah I love being home." You brought the glass fo your lips and took a light sip.

"Only when I have liquor huh?" You mom followed you and sat across from you.

"And food." You smiled and walked to the fridge. Nothing looked appealing to you. You class if and say back down.

"So Hotch?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Is that the question?" You asked back.

"Is there anything there." You were confused at what she was asking you.

"Do you like him Y/N?" I you chugged back the rest of your whine before saying something.

"What is with people and thinking we're together?"

"Because no normal boss drops off there subordinate at their mothers house." She poured more whine into his glass. "Or waits for them to get inside before driving away."

"I do that. You taught me to do that." You pointed out.

"Well I don't see you dropping him off anywhere." She threw it right back at you.

"Touché." You took a sip.

"So?" She asked again.

"He's just my boss." You said and let the glass hang under your nose.

"Ok." Your mom said and raised her eyebrows

"What you don't believe me?" You asked.

"I didn't say that."

"You implied that." You smirked.

"I don't like this profiling thing." She point at you.

"Well it what I get payed for." You smiled and threw back the rest of your drink. You smile at your mom when the doorbell rang.

"You expecting anyone else?" You raised an eyebrow.

"No." She answered. You grabbed your gun that you haven't taken off yet.

"Y/N what are you doing?!" Your mom yell whispered at you.

"Just stay here." You told her and walked up to the door. You looked through the peephole and saw Hotch and the rest of the team standing there. Your furrowed your eyebrow and opened the door.

"What happened?" You asked them.

"The hotel was full." Hotch said and out his hand on the back of his neck.

"Of course it was." You mumble.


	2. A Little Too Close

"Do you mind if we stay with you guys?" Hotch asked your mom.

"Of course come right in." You moved for your team to walk into your childhood home. You looked around as they all plopped down on the couch.

"Where's Rossi?" You asked.

"He had a family thing, had to go back home," JJ said and took her hair out of her ponytail. You nodded and walked back to the kitchen. You saw Hotch talking with your mother.

"Thank you again for letting us stay."

"Oh don't be silly." Your mom said and put her hand on his arm. It was weird seeing the two interact. Your two worlds were colliding.

"I'll go get the air mattress." You turned to the basement door feeling both their eyes on you. The basement was pitch black and your mother hadn't changed the light bulb. You pull out your phone and start searching for the mattress. The basement was a mess of old boxes full of who knows what scared everywhere. You look up at the self in front of you. The box read camping stuff. If it wasn't in there you were shit outta luck. You started to climb the plastic shelf cause there was nothing else to stand on. You made it to the top and tried to grab the box but you felt someone's hand on your sides pulling you down.

"What the hell are you doing?" Hotch said and pulled you down.

"Getting the box what does it look like." You raised your eyebrows.

"You could've fallen and no one would've been here to help." Hotch started to grab the box.

"You guys are right upstairs you would've heard me fall."

"Well everyone's a bit distracted so probably not." You give him a confused look.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, your mother pulled out photo albums." He said and placed the box on the ground.

"Of course she did." You bent down to look through the box.

"You were a cute baby for what it's worth." The side of his mouth was pulled up.

"Thanks." You through one mattress on the floor and looked for the other among the other boxes. You sigh and turn around a little too fast. You bump into Hotch. You placed your hand on his chest. The smell of his cologne lingered. He wasn't wearing a tie. He wasn't as fit as Derek was but you didn't care. You felt his hand wrap around your waist. Your hand moved up his neck. You let out a slow breath you didn't know you had been holding. Your face was only a few inches away. You could feel his breath he was so close. Your thumb brushed across his jawline.

"You guys ok down there!?" Your mom yelled down the stairs. Neither one of you guys moved. You looked up. His pupils were so dilated his eyes looked black.

"Hello?" She called out again.

"Yeah we're good, I just can't find the other mattress." You said still looking in his eyes.

"I think it's up here." She said. You heard her footsteps fade away. You pulled your hand back but Hotch hasn't moved.

"We have to go back upstairs." You placed your hand on his not wanting to move it yet.

"I know." His hand moved further down until there wasn't anymore contact. You took a moment to compose yourself before moving to grab the mattress. You walked up the stairs. The rest of the team was left on the couch flipping through the pictures.

"I told you it was up here." Your mom said and put the mattress next to the other one.

"Y/N. You were so cute when you were a baby. What happened?" Morgan asked. You punched his arm.

"At least I could maintain my hair." You laughed remembering the pictures Derek's mom had shown the team. You both had similar hair types. Well, when he had hair.

~~~~~

After having some more laughs and looked through more embarrassing pictures of you. Your mom told some embarrassing stories. You had to stop her before she said something you could never go back from. You figured out that the guys were gonna stay downstairs while you, Emily and JJ stayed in your old room.

You turn over to grab your phone. The bright screen lit up and read 2:52 am. You put it back down and shut your eyes. There was heavy snores come from the floor. You look over and see Emily, she was on her back. You knew that people were more inclined to start snoring when they were on their back. You get off your bed and stood over her.

"Why do you snore?" You asked. She was dead asleep and there was no way she heard you. You grip her shoulders and pushed her to her side. You made sure she wasn't gonna roll over again. You look next to her and haven't seen JJ. You walked out of your room and saw the bathroom light on. The door opened and JJ walked through.

"Oh shit!" She whispered. "You scared the shit outta me." You smile still exhausted.

"Sorry." You scratched your head. "Did you know Emily snored?"

"Yup, you didn't know?" JJ asked back.

"No I never ended up sharing a room with her. Even when we were at Penelope's she was always in a different room."

"Well I'm used to it so, welcome to the club." JJ said and patted your shoulder. There was no way you could sleep now. When you went downstairs you passed the boys fast asleep. Reid was curled up in a ball on the couch and Morgan was spread out on the bed. Where was Hotch? You didn't spend a lot of time thinking about it. You walk over to the fridge and grab a bottle of water. You stood in the kitchen while your mind ran miles.

"Fuck it." You said to yourself and walked over to the drawer that had random things in it. You pull out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. This wasn't an everyday thing that you did. Only when things were bad.

You walked out into the backyard and stood by the railing. You light your cigarette and stare out into the pitch black yard.

"Smoking kills you know." His voice as deeper then usual.Raspy. It made your legs tremble a little.

"I'm well aware." You said and blew out the smoke.

"You have full usage of both sides of your brain you should know." You took a few steps closer to you.

"Why are you awake?" You asked not looking to see him.

"Morgan and Reid move a lot when they sleep." You nodded your head. "Why are you awake?" He asked back.

"Emily snores." You smile to yourself.

"Yeah I forgot to warn you about that." Was he joking with you. Did Aaron Hotchner just try to be funny.

"Apparently I'm the only one who didn't know."

"You still got a lot to find out."

"About the world, no I got all that up here." You pointed to your head. "About this team. I still got a long way to go." Before you had a chance to put the cigarette back in your mouth Hotch took it.

"I won't let my agents smoke." He said and put it out.

"Well you'll need to have a very long conversation with Emily and I then."

"I'll remember that." He reached over to take the box and lighter out of your hand.

"Since when did you start smoking, for the whole year you've been with us I haven't seen it."

"That cause I don't it around you." You pointed out the obvious. His face didn't change. "Only when I'm stressed or there's a lot going on." You gave him the answer he really wanted.

"And what's going on?" You thought about if you should tell him what had been going on for the past year or what was going on right now.

"This case." You chose. "I can't help but think if I hadn't graduated when I did or left when I did, I could've been one of these victims. If I had stayed to finish my doctorate maybe I wouldn't be here." There was more you wanted to say but nothing they wouldn't raise any red flags.

"Well it's a good thing you left when you did." 

"Is it though." Those 3 little words change the whole mood.

"What do you mean." Hotch slid into profiler mode.

"Never mind." You said and tried to walk past him but he grabbed your arm.

"What do you mean." You repeated.

"Hotch it's nothing, just forget about it." You tried to escape his grip but he wasn't budging. 

"What happened when you were younger?"

"Can you drop it."

"Was is being the youngest in school? Never fitting in? Always being the outcast?" He was trying to push your button and we was getting there. "Having to figure things out for yourself? It just being you and your mom?" Your face twitch and he knew he struck a chord. "Was it your dad leaving?"

"Can you stop, please." You begged. Tear were falling down your face.

"I'll stop when you tell me what happened." You eyes didn't leave his. "Did you get into trouble? Got arrested?" He wasn't gonna stop and you knew that.

"When my dad left he made it clear that he couldn't handle being with me and my mom anymore. He just left. Just like that. Like he didn't watch me grow up. Like him and my mom didn't know each other since they were in high school. He made it clear he didn't care about me. He made it clear he didn't wanna stick around for the rest of my life. So what was the point of living." Hotch's face filled with emotion. Your eyes show how hurt you really were.

"Y/N." His voice was soft. His grip on you wasn't as strong as before.

"A week after he left, I came home from the police station. I had a bad day. A bad week. I got into more trouble that week then I had my entire time in school. I got suspended for beating a girls ass. She had to get banged up so I was in the police station. They knew what was going on so they let me go after they talked to my mom." You take a deep breath before continuing. "I knew I had about an hour till my mom got home. So I went into the bathroom and found an opened bladed. I don't know why it was there. I had already figured how deep I was gonna have to cut before my body didn't have enough blood in it. I sat there for 20 minutes before I passed out. All I remember was waking up in the hospital."

"How come I didn't know this?" Hotch asked.

"Because I didn't want people to look at me differently."

"No one gonna look at you differently."

"Really?" You pull up your sleeves to reveal the much faded scar. It has been 10 years but you could still it. "This doesn't make you look at me differently." His eyes feel to your scars. Speechless.

"Y/N." It wasn't him. You pier over Hotch's shoulder to see JJ stand at the door.

"How long have you been standing there?" You ask covering your arms back up.

"Long enough." JJ walked over to the both of you. "Why'd you hide it."

"I didn't want people to view me as weak..." The other thing you couldn't possibly say out loud.

"There's something else." JJ face scanned yours.

"I just didn't want people to see me as less than." You made something up hoping it would pass.

"That's not it." Hotch said. You face feel and you looked back at JJ

"I knew about your sister and what happened." You wiped a tear away. "I didn't want to be the reason you didn't smile at work anymore." There were no words. JJ pulled you into a hug. You started sobbing in her arms.

"I'm sorry." You whispered.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, you hear me. Nothing." She held your head like she did with her son. "I'm just happy your still with us." You didn't know what else to say. You had tried your hardest to keep it from everyone. Hotch wanted to be the one to hold you. He wanted to be the only one that could get you to stop crying. He waged to hold you in his arms and never let you go.

He urged both you guys to go to bed. There was only 2 more hits before you had to get up. You laid wide awake. Staring at the ceiling. There was still so many other things they didn't know. You hated hiding things from them but it would make them look at you differently, and from the conversation you had earlier that was the last thing you wanted. At some point of your mind running wild your eyes started to close until you were fast sleep.

~~~~~

You woke to the sound of Emily's alarm blaring. You look over and JJ wasn't there. You didn't know if she was ever gonna be able to look at you again. You make your way downstairs to start a very large pot of coffee. Your met with the confused faces of JJ and Hotch. You pushed your way through the both of them. You start filling up the coffee filter and the water. You put your hands on the counter. You could feel their eyes on you.

"What happened last night stays between us." You stared at the coffee pot.

"I wouldn't have in any other way." JJ said.

"Thank you." You turn to grab all the cups you were gonna need. You heard them walk away.

You had been on the team long enough to know how they all took their coffee. You fix all them and pass them out. As everyone got there morning jolt you went upstairs to finally have a moment yourself. Everything that happened last night felt like a dream. There was a knock at the door.

"Yeah?" You asked and Emily walked through the door.

"Are you ok?" She asked back.

"I'm fine, why do you ask?"

"Cause last night and right now you seemed a little off."

"What is with you guys and not taking the first answer I give." You were getting annoyed at he wrong person.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Emily said and started to walk out.

"Emily wait." She stopped in her tracks and turned around. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be blowing up on you."

"It's ok, I just wanted to make sure everything was alright."

"I'm fine I promise." Everyone knew when you promised something you truly meant it.

"Ok well you know I'm here if you ever need to talk." She rubbed your shoulder and walked out of the room. You had people yet you still didn't trust anyone.


	3. What Really Happened

You had been staring at the girls' pictures and re-reading their files even though they were already memorized for about an hour.

"What are you thinking about?" Reid asked from next to you. Of course, they put the two that could read 20,000 words per minute in the same room to read files.

"Nothing." You simply answer.

"It's impossible for someone to think about nothing because in the human brain-"

"Stop, think, do I know the answer?" You held up a finger to him.

"Yes."

"Do you need to explain it?"

"Probably not."

"Then don't." You smile to yourself, Reid still hadn't gotten used to the fact there was someone as smart as him on the team. He didn't have to explain everything.

"L/N." Hotchs voice came out of nowhere. "You and Derek are gonna go talk to some families." You nodded not wanting to argue. You meet with Derek at the car and figured that since you knew the area you were gonna drive. You were halfway out of the station and Derek started laughing.

"What?" You asked and glanced at him.

"It's like watching Reid drive," Derek said with a big smile.

"Ok, that offensive." You said and punch him.

"Your very abusive." He said and rubbed his arm. "This is the second time you hit me in 2 days."

"Don't act as it hurt." You weren't apologetic. You both laugh it off as you pull up to the first family's house.

"You ready to talk to some distraught families?"

"As ready as I can be." You both walk up to the house. You rang the doorbell and waited for someone to answer the door. A middle-aged man opened the door.

"Mr. Thomas?" You asked.

"Yes." He furrowed his eyebrows

"I'm SSA y/n l/n and this is my partner SSA Derek Morgan, we're with the FBI." You both showed your badges.

"Oh yes, I remember seeing you're around, but that was a long time ago." He smiled lightly, You gave him a gentle smile back.

"We're here investigating 3 suicides, do you mind if we ask you a few questions about your daughter."

"Of course not, come in." He stepped aside as you and Derek walked in and took a seat on the couch.

"Is your wife here?" Derek asked.

"Yes, but I'd rather not wake her. She finally sleeping after a couple of days." You nod.

"Had you noticed anything odd about your daughter before she died? Acting out or getting in trouble? Or maybe she was just really quiet?"

"A little bit of both. One day we got a call from the campus security saying that Alyssa had gotten into a fight, which was odd because she never got into fights she didn't have enemies. When we went to go pick her up she didn't say a word, didn't even try to explain herself. For the rest of the week, she was closed off. Then we found her on the floor of the bathroom." You reached out to grab his hand.

"I'm so sorry for your loss."

"I just wish I could've done something to help her." He got choked up.

"Dad." A little voice came from around the corner.

"Hey, baby girl." He reached out to grab her hand.

"Hey, sweetheart what's your name?" You gave a warm smile.

"Jenna." She said shyly.

"Hi Jenna, I'm y/n and this is my friend Derek." You point at Derek, she waved at you guys. She didn't look older than 13.

"Are you here about my sister?"

"Yeah, we are. Do you remember your sister acting weird at all?" She just shrugged her shoulders you could tell that she was uncomfortable around Derek and her dad. You asked her father if you could talk to her privately. You both walked over to her very colorful room. It reminded you of Penelope's office, there were so many stuffed animals.

"I love your room." You said and sat to her on the bed and picked up a stuffed elephant.

"Thank you." She smiled big.

"Did your sister ever tell you about what was going on at school?"

"She never told me anything but I remember her talking with her friends on the phone." She looked at her hands.

"Do you remember what she talked about?"

"She said something about being stressed, and something about a guy, I can't remember his name."

"That's ok." You gave her a reassuring smile. "Did she stress over school a lot?"

"Well, she was a 16-year-old college sophomore."

"Right." You felt kinda stupid for asking. You guys say there for a minute trying to comfort her as much as you could.

"This is my card." You pulled one out of your pocket. "If you remember anything don't hesitate to call me." She stared at the card as if it was gonna disappear from her hand. You meet with Derek back in the living room.

"She said Alyssa was stressed about school, which is reasonable because she was young."

"She never said anything to us." Mr. Thomas.

"She probably didn't want you guys to worry."

"No that doesn't make sense, she never struggled even when she was a freshman. She even took some easier class to not have so much on her." Your mind started racing.

"I gave Jenna my card in case she remembers anything." He gave a kind smile and escorted you and Derek back outside. You started to pick at your nails when you guys walked to the car and it didn't go unnoticed by Derek.

"What's wrong?" He asked as you both stepped into the car.

"Call Penelope."

"What are you thinking?" He pulled out his phone.

"She never acted out, all the sudden she was stressed and getting into fights, it doesn't make sense."

"y/n they're teenager stuff happens."

"Not to these girls." He looked confused. "Derek I was one of them, no matter what was going on at home or in their lives they won't let it affect the school. They won't let a guy or a falling out with a friend affect them. So something big had to happen for them to rash out."

"Hi pumpkins, what can I do you for?" Penelope answered the phone.

"Hey, have you had a chance to look through the girls' phones?" You bit your nail.

"I was just about to, is there something you want me to look out for?"

"Can you run certain words through a search engine to see if the girls had texted to anyone?"

"Yeah gimme one second." You heard fast typing coming from the other line. Derek hasn't wiped that confused look off his face yet. "Ok, what am I looking for."

"Ok look up Stressed, T.A., Forced, After-hours, Bitch, and Cut." You could feel Penelope's concern through the phone.

"Wow, there's one message that uses almost all of them. Alyssa sent a message to someone named Alex. She said, "My English T.A. could see I was stressed so he asked if wanted to stay after class for extra help." She abruptly stopped.

"What is it, Penelope?"

"She said the T.A. practically forced himself on her." You could hear her voice break.

"I knew it." You said more to yourself. "Can you look up the same words in the other girls' phones?" There wasn't an answer just very aggressive typing.

"Oh my god." She was on the verge of tears.

"What is it, babe?" Derek asked.

"Christina said she couldn't deal with the stress and the stuff that was going on after hours she thought about cutting again." Your jaw tightens.

"Ashley?" You asked about the other girl.

"She said the thought of getting raped by the T.A. again made her want to kill herself."

"Can you look up campus security reports to see who Alyssa Thomas got into a fight with right before she died?" You didn't want to comment on what she had previously said until you were sure you know who it was.

"Page O'Malley she was another T.A. at the school."

"Let me guess, she was assaulted too but by the time she said something the statute of limitations was up."

"Bingo." You knew you were right.

"Derek call Hotch." You said and started the car.

"Why?"

"Can you just call him, I would but I'm driving?" The shakiness in your voice was unheard of. Derek said a quick goodbye to Penelope then dialed Hotch's number.

"y/n what's going on?"

"I don't know but I might just lose my job."

"Ok well let's not do what we're about to do," Derek said.

"Hello?" Hotch's voice came through.

"Hotch I think I know who the unsub is."

~~~~~

You stood on the other side of a one way mirror looking at your ex-boyfriend. You had ran into his class room and saw him with another girl that looked just like the others. He was the only one that consistently showed up in all the girls lives.

"Are you sure about this?" Hotch asked from standing behind you.

"I should've known when we first saw him." Your arms were crossed.

"There's no way we could've known that."

"I should've. I know this sick asshole. I loved him. I should've known."

"You can't put this on yourself." Hotch stood next to you. "If we did that every case no one could do this job." You still blamed yourself even though you knew he was right. The team had a agreed that it would be you to conduct the interview. You were the thing he really wanted and dangling it in front of his face would drive him nuts. You walked in with Derek right in your tail. You sit down across from him while Derek stands by the door.

"I see you brought your bodyguard." He said. Derek intimidated him. Derek was the definition of the perfect guy. Muscles, sweet, good in bed (I think). It wasn't something he was.

"Do you know why we brought you here?"

"You think I had something to do with the suicides." He shrugged.

"Yeah." You pull out the pictures of all 3 girls. "Your the only person that pops up multiple times in their lives." He looked at the pictures.

"What did you do to them Ben?" He was taken back by the use of his first name.

"I didn't hurt them." You analyzed his body as he talked. He held his breath. He head twitched. He's not looking at you.

"Why can't you look at me?" His eyes were slowly brought to yours. "Do I remind you of what you did go those girls?"

"I didn't kill them." He wasn't lying about that he didn't kill them by he brought them to that point.

"I didn't ask if you did. I asked why you can't look at me. Does looking at me remind you of the horrible things you did to them." His eyes narrowed. "Just a little pat in the shoulder, maybe your hand would fall, ran down their arm. When they rejected you, you threatened to fail them. You knew they couldn't live with themselves if they failed. So once they agreed, you would caress their cheek. Grab their waist. Pull them in so close, you could smell their shampoo." He slammed his hand in the table as if say that was enough, you didn't flinch at his movement. He stood up and Derek took a step closer.

"Sit. Down." You said as stern as your voice would go. "You don't get to slam your hand on a table and say you done." He sat down again and Derek backed up.

"You have no proof that I did this." You laugh to yourself.

"If you look through the girls phone they are constantly being up how their English T.A. made them want to kill themselves. Oh guess what. Your the only English T.A. they had. I have multiple surveillance videos showing you and the girl going into the classroom together, then you just leaving them behind."

"They didn't have to come with me." He scoffed.

"Your DNA was found under Alyssa Thomas's nail and I'd imagine if you pulled up your selves we would find some big scratch marks." You were getting annoyed at how cocky he was. Why had you dated him for 2 years.

"Is that it?" His attitude hadn't changed.

"I'll ask you one more time. What did you do to those girls?" Your voice was rising.

"Nothing." He stared at the mirror.

"So you gonna say that you didn't get a little touch in while you guy where together."

"I mean I would but-"

"So you did touch them."

"No- Yes- but not-" He hung his head trying to get his words straight. 

"It's a yes or no question." You kept cutting him off and he was getting pissed.

"I did."

"Did you get off on the fact that they were completely under your control? You could mess up their lives in a second."

"I was not controlling-." Bullshit.

"Well you were. You wanna know how I know because you knew that school was important to them. You took that way and there was nothing left."

"I didn't take-."

"You didn't take anything from them? I can guarantee that you took their dignity, self-respect, trust and everything that comes with-." Your voice was getting higher. 

"They gave it to me!" He yelled.

"What'd they give you?!" you asked.

"They said I could!"

"Because they were terrified about what was gonna happen to them!"

"That enough." Hotch was at the door. His face didn't look happy. You got up from your seat and walked into the other side of the room.

"How do you know about what he did to the girls?" Hotch asked.

"Because that's what he did to me." You said and watched as the faces of everyone in the room fall. You walked out into the rest of the police station. You made your way to the bathroom, you weren't going to allow yourself to breakdown in front of everyone. You rest your hand on the sink. Taking deep breaths trying to calm yourself. You wipe the tears that dare to fall down.

"y/n?" JJ voice was quiet.

"JJ please go away."

"Just let me in I won't say anything." You trust her word and unlocked the door. She walked in and stood there. She was examining you body language unsure of how to proceed.

"He never raped me.He just made me lose all self-respect and trust in anyone."

"How long did it go on?"

"2 years. The whole time we were together." You chocked on the last words. "I am provably a genius. I have a higher IQ then Spencer Reid for fucks sake. I could get myself out." She didn't say anything. She just walked up and wrapped her arms around you. You get flash backs from the night prior. You busted out crying in her arms again.

"I'm sorry, that's just the last thing I want people to know." She nodded. She gave you a minute to wipe of the muscular that was now smeared under your eyes. You walked out of the bathroom and felt eyes on you. The team hadn't moved from when you left. You ignored all the eyes that asked if you were ok and walked up to Hotch.

"I understand if you want my badge and gun." You stated.

"We'll talk later." He wasn't gonna fire you. Right?

~~~~~

After having a very intense 4 hour interview with Derek Morgan, Ben finally confessed. The second he confessed you left the station because you didn't know what you were going to do. The sun was just starting to set when you made it back to your moms house. The first thing you grabbed when you walked in was a bottle of whine and glass. You sat and the table and poured a glass. It was moments like this when you hated this job. You had about 1/4 of the bottle left when the team knocked on the door. You stood up and you hadn't realized how buzzed you were. You opened the door and watched as they all flooded in, no one looked at you directly but you could feel the worry. You let them all get settled and you walked about to the kitchen.

"Did you open this?" Derek asked and held up the bottle. You nodded took it from him. You watched as he walked to the seat.

"I'm not drunk." You said and didn't look at him.

"Ok." You gave you one last look and walked back into the living room. You stared at the glass that was still kind of full.

"I won't drink the rest of that if I were you." Hotch walked in.

"Good thing your not me." You picked up the glass.

"Being drunk on he job is a federal offense." He gave another reason.

"Well I might not have a job so it's a win win."

"I'm not firing you." Hotch said still standing by the door way.

"Yay me." You closed the bottle and went to go put it back.

"But I do want you to take some time off." You put your hands on the counter and shifted your weight.

"I don't need time off."

"That wasn't a request." Hotch stepped closer so he didn't have to yell.

"Hotch I'm fine."

"And I have no doubt about that, I just want you to get this job out of your mind for a while."

"What do you suggest I do? Do you want me to stay here? I'll lose my mind." You turn to look at him. He turned to make sure that no one was listening.

"3 credits." Was all he said.

"What?" The confusion mixed with the whine was making you annoyed.

"You were 3 credits away from getting your doctorate." He sated and stepping even closer.

"How do you know that?"

"I went back to the campus to give back the student files and I was informed that you had 3 credits left."

"Fuckin Maranda." You whisper mostly to yourself. "Yes, I had 3 credits left. Then I got the job with you with guys and I couldn't do both so I dropped it."

"I want you to go back." Hotch said.

"Why do you care so much?"

"Because you are smarter then Reid but no one will ever know that."

"You guys know that, that's all that matters." You were mad that he was trying to control your life.

"But if you finish and everyone knows."

"Fine." You caved in. He was the last person you wanted to argue with. He nodded his head and turned to leave.

"Can I ask." You started and he turned back around. "Why do you car so much?"

"Because you are the smartest person I know but no will ever know that." He invaded your personal bubble. You stepped back but was met with the counter top. You breath hitched when kept moving closer. You put your hand on his chest. His thumb brushed your check. You didn't know what to say but you knew you didn't want it to stop. You suddenly felt very sober when his face was only an inch any from you.

"How much did you drink?" He whispered.

"I suddenly don't feel buzzed anymore." You said, He dipped his head down until his lips met yours. Your hand moved from his chest to into his hair. You pull apart and rested your forehead on his. You exhaled deeply. He could smell the whine on your breath. You leaned in to kiss him again when you heard footsteps getting closer. You released him from your grip and fixed your shirt. You took a step back.

"The jets ready when ever you are?" JJ said and Hotch nodded. He gave you one last look and followed JJ out. You let your shoulders fall.

_Did that really just happen?_


	4. One More Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when you finally come back from finishing school?

After 4 months away from the team you finally returned officially, Dr. y/n l/y. You hadn't told anyone that you were returning mostly because you didn't know when you were going to finish. You parked your car and saw everyone was there. Walking in you were met with many familiar faces. After getting off the elevator you could see right through the glass doors, Derek and Reid were at their desks and you could see Hotch in his office, Rossi was nowhere to be found. You push through the doors and Derek glanced up and smiled.

"Welcome back," Derek said and hugged you.

"Thanks." You put your stuff down at your desk. Spencer hadn't yet taken his eyes off the book he was reading. You walk over and started reading over his shoulder. You were almost done with the page but he turned it.

"Hey, I wasn't done." You said and pouted. He turned around and his smile grew.

"Well, you have to work on your stamina."

"I'll be sure to do that." You walk back over to your desk and grabbed some papers that stated that you finished school. The blinds to Hotch's office were slightly closed but you could see that he was on there. You knock on the door and heard a muffled 'come in.'

"Hi." You smile more than you should've. You look and see that Rossi was sitting in the chair across from his desk. He got up and gave you one of the best hugs you've had in a while. He announced that he was going to give you guys a minute to get everything situated.

"Welcome back." He hadn't looked you in the eyes yet.

"It's nice to be back." There were no words. "I have these papers just stating that I have my doctorate and it's not just a piece of paper that has my name on it." You place the papers on his desk. Still nothing. "Is anyone in there?" You asked trying to find his eyes. He was looked at the paper he had yet to write anything on.

"What's going on? What could I have done I just got back?" You kept questioning.

"I'm sorry." He said. Still not looking up.

"For?"

"Everything that happened in Connecticut." You knew exactly was he was referring to, but you acted like you didn't.

"It's fine, everything was gonna come up eventually right?" You shrugged.

"I guess so." He said. He took the paper that had been sitting on his desk. He examined it and tucked it away in some random file. There was nothing else to say so you stood and walked back to your desk. You were greeted by more hugs from Emily and JJ. The files on your desk hadn't piled up as high as you thought they were. You slowly chipped away at the stack, but your mind wasn't there.

Did he forget? Did he forget he had you pinned to your counter? It makes sense that he hadn't told anyone. But not to mention...

"OH MY GOD!" You were startled at Penelope's high pitch screech. She started running towards you. Well as fast as someone can go in 5-inch heels. You stood up just in time for her to hug you.

"Oh, it feels like it's been an eternity since I've last seen you."

"I wasn't gone for that long." You said.

"You were gone for 4 months." She said and pulled out of the hug.

"That's not that long." You pointed out.

"Too long."

"Never again I promise." You smiled.

All the girls went out for lunch to talk about what's been happening since you were gone.

"We're convinced that Reid has a girlfriend," Penelope said and picked at your food.

"Really?" You couldn't believe someone besides yourself could handle him.

"Yeah, but he won't tell us anything," JJ said.

"And Hotch has been kind of an ass." Emily chined in from next to you.

"Well, that's nothing out of the norm." You said.

"No everyone has been walking on eggshells around him, even Rossi." That was shocking Rossi was just about the only person that could tell Hotch to take a step back and he wouldn't get mad. You hadn't said anything longer than you thought, all the girls were looking at you. "What?"

"Your very quiet after hearing about Hotch." JJ pointed out.

"I was just thinking to when I walked into his office, all he said was welcome back and he was sorry."

"Sorry for what?" Emily turned to read your body language.

"Everything that happened on the case, I said it was fine cause everything was gonna come out anyway." You shrugged.

From the corner of your eye, you could see JJ swallow hard and look at her food. At least JJ wasn't acting as weird as Hotch was. He wouldn't even look at you. Which sucked cause that kiss was one of the best ones you've had, and you've kissed a lot of people. It was one of those kisses where you forgot what time it was. That was one of the many things that you couldn't get out of your mind while finishing school. Well more like the only thing.

Your mom had asked what was wrong cause you seemed more closed off. You didn’t know how to tell "My boss kissed me in your house, as a matter a fact he pinned me to the counter and kissed me in your house." Not even gonna mention the stuff that happened in the basement earlier the day before. Or what happened that night in the backyard. All in all, there were a lot of things that you were closed off about you just didn't know how to say it.

After deciding if you guys should interrogate Reid about his secret girlfriend or just leave him be. You voted to harass him until he cracked. You missed picking on him. One thing you knew for sure was that Morgan filled in for you when you left.

But knowing Hotch wasn't himself after you had left was worrying.

~~~~~

The time stuck to 6:30 when you finally decided to go home. You stood up and pack up your stuff.

"Where you going?" Derek asked.

"Home, I'd rather have a glass of whine by my side while I finish these files." You waved the files.

"Let's go get a drink." Derek said not as a question.

"Derek I'm tired, I just got back."

"You just said you were gonna drink might as well be with us." Derek had a point.

"Fine." You didn't feel like arguing. Derek went to go inform Penelope of the plans because everyone else had overheard the interaction. You walked up the stairs to see if Rossi and Hotch wanted to come along, Rossi said he was gonna buy the first round to celebrate your return. You walk to Hotchs office and knocked followed my a soft come in.

"Hi." You said and closed to door behind you. He didn't say anything. You walked up to his desk and placed the finished files in a basket.

"Were all gonna go get a drink, do you wanna come? Rossi's buying the first round." He was just ignoring you at this point. "Hotch? Are you just gonna ignore me forever?" He turned the page in his file. "Aaron!" That was the first time you had ever used his first name. He looked up eyebrows raised.

"Are you never gonna talk to me again?" You repeated the question.

"I don't know." That was his answer. 3 words. That was it.

"Do you want to come with us to get a drink?"

"No." You couldn't say anything without getting mad. You walked out.

"Is he gonna come?" Emily asked.

"What do you think?" You asked back in a joking tone.

"Dumb question." Everyone jumped into their cars and head to the bar that they always went to. You found a table that could seat almost everyone but there was a high chance that Penelope and Derek would be dancing more than half the time.

You spent a while trying to convince Reid to have an actual drink instead on just a soda. His stubbornness got the better of you and you gave up. You sat and talked with everyone for a while when Reid spoke.

"Y/N."

"Yes." You turned your attention to him.

"When Hotch told us that you were gonna finish school I looked up what was the fast way to finish the last credits you had?" He started.

"Ok?"

"I read that the fasts way was to take all the classes at once, it would be a lot of work but you could get it done in 2 months." Everyone was listening to this conversation and you knew it wasn't going to end well.

"Yeah they didn't offer that at my school." You tried to save yourself.

"Yes they did, I looked at the school records and it was the most used one for kids that only had a few credits left. Your name was on it, but then it was taken off before you started."

"Were you trying to get away from us longer?" Penelope asked, you could the hurt look on her face.

"No, no, no, no, I wasn't. I wanted to make sure that I earned the credits."

"Y/N your a genius, you earn all the credits you have." Derek said.

"I know." That was all you said.

"Then why did you stay longer then you needed too?" Spencer asked.

"I don't know." Lie. "But I swear on everything that I wasn't trying to avoid you guys, in fact I missed you guys so much." They believed you they just looked sad. "I'm sorry." You said and looked at each of them. They smiled silently excepting your apology.

After being at the bar for another two hours, you finally called it a night. You were slightly buzzed but not drunk. Ok enough for you to drive home. You got home and dropped everything at the door. You take a hot shower to relax yourself from the interaction with Hotch, even though it had happened 4 hours ago. There was a high chance that he was never going to talk to you again and that would really suck. You got out of the shower and through your hair in a bun. A sweater and underwear was all you had on considering you were going to go to sleep because it was almost midnight. You walk back to the front door and pull your phone out of your purse. There was 3 messages from Penelope and two from Emily. They both asked if you had gotten home safely followed by some pictures you guys had taken. You start to walk back to your room when there was a knock at your door.

"Who the hell?" You asked and walked back. You stood on your tippy toes to look through the peep hole. It was Hotch.

"Shit." You whisper to yourself, pants, you need pants. You grab the short that had been laying your couch since you guys left for Connecticut. You run back to the door.

"What are you doing here so late?" You asked and opened the door.

"You should really answer the door with pants on." He said and looked at your legs.

"I am." You lift up your sweater to reveal the shorts.

"Well longer pants." He stated again.

"Did you come here to criticize my clothing, or do you have an actual purpose?" You move to the side of the door offering for him to come in. You walks in and stops at the kitchen to admire your apartment.

"I wanted to apologize for my behavior." He put his hands in his pockets.

"Was that the apology or..." You trailer off.

"I'm sorry that I've been such an ass to you." He said, you laughed at his choice of words. "What's so funny?" He asked.

"You saying the word ass is quite amusing." You hung your head and realized how much it did look like you weren't wearing pants. You pick your head back up and saw that he had a small smile.

"You know you look kind a normal when you smile."

"Mmm." He hummed. You folded your lips and exhaled deeply trying not to let that one sound effect you. "I'm going to assume that Reid has said something about you taking the 4 months to finish school." He changed the subject.

"Yeah he did." You played with your fingers.

"Can I ask why chose to stay longer?"

"You just did." You were deflecting, he knew why.

"Was it because I kissed you?" He asked. You looked at your hands knowing that all the response he needed.

"Maybe." You responded anyway.

"I'm sorry about that too, it was highly inappropriate."

"No kidding." You joked, but it wasn't the right time. You both were silent for a while.

"For what it's worth..." You started and stepped closer. "I don't regret it. I was never gonna work up the balls to do to, or saying thing for that matter. But I'm glad you did." That was all you needed to say. He walked up to you and kissed you. Your breath hitched when he pushed against the wall. He picked you legs and wrapped them around his hips. His hand were on your ass holding you up. Your hand intertwined with his hair. One of his hands trailed up your leg and under your sweater. He hummed when realizing you weren't wearing a bra. You slightly moaned when his cupped your boob, you hadn't realized how big his hands were until that moment. You bring your hand to his chest and slightly push back. You forehead is on his and your both breathing heavily.

"As much as I'd like to continue this...and I'd very much like to continue this." You pointed out. "I want this to be something, not just some one night stand and we never talk about it." He put your down and took his hands back.

"Do you really think I would just come here sleep with you then leave?" It was a genuine question he had.

"I never thought you were going to kiss me, so anything possible." You smile to yourself. He put his hands back on your waist.

"I would never just sleep with you and forget about it. I want this to be something too."

"So are we agreeing we want to start something?" You wanted things to be clear.

"I guess we are." He smiled.

"Good." You grabbed his tie and pulled him into one more kiss. The kiss was slow. Your other hand wrapped around his neck to pull him closer. This is what you had been wanting for the last year and you didn't want to screw it up.

~~~~~

It was 5 in the morning when your phone started ringing. You look at the bright screen. Penelope Garcia. Penelope calling at 5, that's not good.

"Go away." You answered.

"I wish I could sweet pea, but about 5 hours ago a 6 year old girl was taken from her home."

"Oh crap." You said more awake. "Ok I'll be there in like 20 minutes." You through on the first thing you saw and headed out the door. Considering it was 5 in the morning there was no traffic. You got there with in 10 minutes.

"I see you didn't follow the speed limits." Reid said as you walked in.

"No I didn't."

"I know cause it would've take you-" Reid started.

"18 minutes and 48 seconds, I know." You cut him off because you already knew the answer. You sit down and wait for everyone else to get there.

Your head was in your hands, you were exhausted. 3 hours of sleep wasn't what you had expected to get when Hotch left at almost 2 o'clock. It was nothing but heavy make out and some conversation. But you were so focused on getting here you didn't think to stop for coffee. Before you had a chance to get up to get some a mug was placed in front of you with a sticky note on it. You, me, dinner, Friday night. You knew exactly who it was from. You look up and meet Hotchs eye. You nodded slightly and smile, but it quickly goes away when you see JJ and Emily walk through the door.Their hair was a mess and they were wearing the same cloths as last night.

"Looks like you guys had a long night." You laugh and sip the coffee.

"An hour." JJ said and sat down next to you.

"An hour?" You needed helping putting it together.

"An hour of sleep. You guys left while me and Emily kept the party going at her house." You slid the coffee to her, she needed it more than you did in the moment. You stand to fix you and Emily some coffee while listening the rest of the team talk.

"I tired to tell you guys to go home but you didn't want to listen." Derek through his hands up.

"It's your fault for coming back." Emily said to you.

"I didn't even want to go out, I was gonna go home. It was Derek's idea." You placed the coffee in front of Emily.

You went back to your seat and start to think about all the good things that came out of last night outing. If you had never asked Hotch to come out he wouldn't have been and ass and would've never came to your apartment to apologize. Things wouldn't have happened and he would've never asked you out. So in the end you were very happy that you did go out ot get a drink even though Emily and JJ got the short end of the straw. In the middle of Derek and Emily's argument Rossi walks in with his shirt missing a few buttons.

"Sorry to interrupt your...night." You gestured to his shirt.

"Pensa agli affari tuoi." Mind your own business. Rossi point at you and as the only other person that know Italian Emily laughed.

"Lo sientio." You apologized and waited from Penelope to start presenting. From the corner of your eye you could see Hotch smile just a little bit.


	5. Date Night

It was 6:00 on Friday night and you were packing up your stuff to go home and get ready for your date.

"Where are you going in such a hurry?" Derek asked and leaned back in his chair.

"Home. I'm going out."

"With who?" He furrowed his eyebrows.

"None of your business." You grabbed the jacket and walk to Hotch's office to give in your completed files.

"I'll pick you up at 7:30." He said but never looked up from his file.

"Can't wait." You smile and walked out.

"Why you all giddy?" Derek was still pushing. 

"Can a girl not be happy to get out of this place before 7?" You stopped at his desk.

"No, cause it never happens." You smiled.

"Goodnight Derek." You walked away from him.

"Have a fun night." He yelled across the bullpen.

"I sure will." You yelled back and looked at Hotch through the blinds, he was smiling.

There was an hour and a half in the clock before Hotch would be here. He was always in time, sometimes early so let's say an hour and fifteen. You jump in the shower to wash your hair, everything was gonna be natural. Natural hair, natural make-up, and it were only fair to show off your natural body figure and you had just the dress for that. It was a dark shade of blue that hugged every curve your mama gave you. It stopped right above your knee. Once you got out of the shower your phone started ringing. It was Emily.

"Please don't tell me we have a case." You answered.

"Well hello to you too, no we don't have a case." She finished. You sighed in relief. "I just wanted to know who you're going out with?"

"I'll tell you if it ends well." You were just pulling her leg... You weren't gonna tell her anything. Well not until you and Hotch agreed on when. You knew the date was going to go well because you had already started talking to Hotch about personal things. He knew more about you than Emily did and she was the person you talked to most.

"But I wanna know now." She was like a kid.

"You'll have to wait." She groaned which caused you to smile.

"Where are you guys going?" She has too many questions.

"Are you gonna stalk me?" You asked back.

"No, I just want to know in case you get kidnapped." You could tell she was partially joking.

"I don't know where we're going, and I'm going to get kidnapped."

"How do you know that?"

"Cause I just do." You could say 'Oh I'm going out with our boss and I know he wouldn't try to abduct me.'

"But how do you-"

"Emily." You stop her before she could finish resting of then question.

"Ok dropping it." You could tell she had through her hands up in defense. "That's weird."

"What?" You asked.

"Hotch is leaving." You smiled cause you knew what he was leaving for.

"Really?" You played it off.

"Yeah it's 6:45 and he's leaving. Rossi and I are still here, I think JJ's still here too. Where the hell could he be going?"

"Maybe to spend the weekend with his child." You pointed out the most obvious explanation.

"Right, I forgot he has a family." She chuckled.

"You have a family too." You chimed in.

"Not the way he does."

"Sergio is very hurt by that statement." You joked.

"He'll be fine." She laughed back.

"Well I'm gonna finish getting ready for this date, I'll let you know how it goes."

"Ok." You both said goodbye and hung up.

45 minutes was all the time you had before Hotch would be at your doorstep. You played some music to try and ease your nerves. Everything was going to be ok. Everything was going to go well. Why wouldn't it?

~~~~~

You were digging in your closet looking for the shoes that matched the dress that you were wearing. You were half way through the plie when there was a knock at the door. You look at your phone and it was 7:15. You walk to the door barefoot. You open the door and saw Hotch holding a a single rose.

"I know you don't like the whole bouquet of flowers thing so I just brought you one." You felt the heat rise to your cheeks as he handed you the flower.

"Thank you." You step aside to let him in. he looked you up and down and laughed a little.

"Your not wearing shoes." He pointed out as if you didn't know.

"Yeah well you weren't supposed to be here for another 15 minutes." You closed the door stood with him in your living room.

"Well you go find your shoes. I'll...stand here." He looked around your house.

"Ok." You slightly rolled your eyes and rushed back to your room. You had too many shoes for your own good.

"Ha!" You yelled and pulled out one shoe.

"You find them?" Hotch asked from the other room.

"One." You said.

"Well that's something. Do you need help." You wouldn't ask for help but you want to start the date.

"Yeah can you look in the closet that's by the front door." You heard him walking away. You admitted defeat when you went through the whole closet. You took the shoe you found and went to the living room. He was crouch down looking through a basket that had a bunch of mixed shoes.

"Is this what your looking for?" You watched as he turned around holding your blue matte heel.

"Yes." Your face lit up as he hands you the shoe. You slip the shoes on and you are now closer to his height.

"You look beautiful." He wasn't just saying that cause that's what guys say on the first date. The his voice dropped so it was like he was whispering. And the way he looked up and down. You could tell he was being sincere.

"Thank you." You push some hair behind your ear and felt you checks get hot. "So where are we going?" You changed the subject.

"Dinner." He said.

"Yeah I know that. But like where." You didn't know how else to phrase the question.

"It's a surprise." He smiled and reached for your hand. You didn't like surprise that much so you weren't to thrilled at the idea. You walked hand n hand down to the parking lot. He opened the door for you to get in. He was a real gentleman when he wanted to be. When Hotch turned the car on the station was about to play All I Want For Christmas even though halloween hadn't happened yet.

"Halloween's in like 2 weeks what's with the Christmas music?" You laughed.

"I'm not the one playing it." Before the song started her heard the DJ said it was a requested song. Only a true lover of Christmas would play such a song this early in the year. You. You were a true lover of Christmas that would play a song this early in the year. You started song along very quietly. Well you thought it was quiet. You got more comfortable with singing so you got a little louder. Hotch stopped at the light and looked at you.

"You can really sing." He said and listened to you.

"It's not that good." You didn't take complements from anyone.

"Your being modest." He said and looked back at the road.

"Thank you." You took the compliment. "My mom always said I was good but I thought she was just saying that cause she had too."

"That's what parents do." He shrugged.

"Do you do that with Jack?" You asked.

"When he was 4 and gave me a picture with a bunch of scribbles on it." His face lit up when he talked about his son. "He put in the effort so."

"Well that's all that matter." You thought of the picture Jack had given you.

"I still have the one he gave me... I think it's in the drawer in my desk... but it has the big tree in the back of Rossi's house, when we had the barbecue." You tried describing the picture the best to your ability. "He sat there and explained to me everything that was going on." You had the biggest smile talking about the interaction with the little boy. The smile definitely didn't go unnoticed by Hotch.

"He likes you, you know." He didn't look to see your reaction.

"Well that's always good."

"No I mean like, he's told me on multiple occasions that your his favorite on the team."

"Has he met Spencer?" You deflected.

"Yes he has." He actually answered the question.

"Well I know he has, it was a rhetorical question."

"I'm aware." You hated how smug he could get.

"But Spencer does magic, and is a child at heart."

"But you play with him, and take the time have an actual conversation with him."

"Well it's not that hard cause he's 5." You don't know why you were trying to find a reason to not get alone with Jack. It was just like a reflex.

"Y/N, he likes you. It's a good thing." He put his hand on your thigh to calm you.

"Kids just don't tend to like me every much." You have a reason why you were shocked.

"You my dear are a kid." He smiled.

"Are you making fun of my age?" It was a joke but also an actual question.

"No no no no." He saw the concern on your face. "It's just when you see Jack- or Henry for that matter- you become a kid. You play with their toy cars and talk to them about dinosaurs, mostly because you know everything there is to know about cars and dinosaurs." It's true. You do know everything about cars and dinosaurs and you could go on all day.

"Very true." You held his hand that was still on your thigh.

"It's not a bad thing when a kid enjoys your presents."

"I know, I know." You intertwined your fingers with his. His hand was so much bigger then yours. They were warm. He didn't protest when you put your other hand into of his. He couldn't help but look at him. This was real.

~~~~~

You guys pull up to an old Italian restaurant.

"This place looks familiar." You stare at the front expecting a memory to pop in your head. You were to busy trying to remember being here you didn't notice Hotch come around to open the door. He extends his hand and you happily took it.

"Hotch you don't have to do that every time." You smiled.

"Y/N, we're on a date call me Aaron." You nodded realizing what you had said.

"Right, sorry force of habit."

"You don't need to apologize." You nodded and you guys walk in for en restaurant. Aaron says something to the man in the front. You were looking around trying to figure out when you had been here. As you walk to your seat it hit you. You face lit up at the past memory.

"You remember." Aaron asked and pulled out your chair. You slowly nodded as he sits across from you.

"We came here after my first successful case. We got 2 girl back home to their families so we celebrated." Your smile want going to go away. "Emily and I had so much whine that night."

"After the case, that's when I realized you were going to be a extraordinary agent."

"Thank you." You took the compliment with no argument.

"That night however." He started brining you back to the conversation. "That night I knew I wanted to be with you." The ends of his lips pulled up.

"Why did you wait so long to say something?" You asked.

"Why did you?" He asked you back.

"Really?" Was he joking. He nodded

"For one, your me boss." You stated the obvious. "If I said something and it turned out that you didn't like me- or thought about me in the way I thought about." You didn't give your mind a chance to wander. "Do you know how bad that would be?" He nodded and took your hand.

"Well let's be happy I did say something."

~~~~~

When you finished eating it was almost 10. You both knew it was later but didn't want the night to end. He pulled into the parking garage but says nothing.

"So where's Jack tonight?" You asked and looked at your hands.

"He's with Haley visiting some of her family in Florida." He looked at you. You nodded not knowing how to say the next part.

"Do you wanna come upstairs and watch a movie or something?"

"Y/N, I think that-" You knew where he was going with his speech.

"No no, that's not what I meant." You take deep breath and explain. "There's no hidden metaphor. Do you want to come up to myapartment, sit on my couch and watch a movie?"

"I would love too." You both smile.

"Good, cause I wasn't ready to say by to you yet."

"Neither was I." You guys walk up to your apartment hand n hand just the way you guys had left. You stop to unlock your door and you could feel Aaron breaths on the back of you neck. You close your eye to take in how close he was. You push the door open and turned on the light that revealed the whole room. You kick off your heels and your breath hitchs as your feet hit the cold floor.

"I think I may have some clothes that could fit you, if you want something more comfortable."

"Do I dare ask why you have clothes that may fit me."

"I find clothes are more comfortable when they're bigger." You folded your lips. You nodded and walked into your room to grab him the clothes. You show him the bathroom and you walk back to your room. You find the sweater and biker short you wore to sleep the night before. You walk into the living room and look for a movie to watch. Hotch comes out from the bathroom and looks kind of normal.

"You look good with out a suit on." You bit your thumbnail and looked at how the short sleeves of the shirt tighten around the muscles on his arm. 

"And you look good in anything." He said.

"Very smooth. Sit." You lifted the blanket for him to sit next to you. He steps forward and sits next to you and shows no hesitation when putting his arm around you. You lean into him like you two have been together for a while.

"Now." You pick up the controller. "We must pick a movie."


	6. Minimal Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I tried to make this feel as much like an episode as a I possibly could. So enjoy.

The sunlight comes through tens blinks and hits your eyes. You turn over in your bed not wanting to wake up just yet. You look for your phone and see a sticky note on it.

_You fell to sleep in the middle of the movie and you looked too peaceful to wake so I took you to bed. I had a great time tonight. Call me when you wake up._

-A.Hotchner

You remove the sticky note and open your phone to dial Hotch's number. The phone rings for a minute before he answers.

"Hotchner." He answered.

"I'm am so sorry for falling asleep." Was the first thing you said. You could hear the smile in his voice.

"It's ok."

"You should've woken me."

"Well, I didn't you needed your sleep."

"I get to sleep." He was silent. Even though he was on the phone he could still tell when you were lying. "Ok I don't, but what do you expect with this job."

"That's why I didn't wake you." You accepted the answer and fell silent. "So do you have any plans for today?"He continues the conversation.

"Yes I am going to go have late lunch with Emily, but I don't know what we're gonna do after. What are your plans?" You stepped out of bed.

"Work."

"Oh come on. It's like 10'oclock." You walked to your kitchen.

"I'm aware of the time."

"Why don't you go hang out with Rossi?" You asked.

"He's downstate for the weekend."

"Oooh, he got a new lady friend?" You loved knowing when Rossi had a new lady cause you always teased him about it.

"I don't know."

"Yes, you do."

"I do but I'm not going to tell you."

"Aww, why not?" He could sense the puppy dog eye through the phone.

"Because I don't even want to know."

"Well you already do, so tell me. Please." You slightly begged.

"No."

"Mh fine." You two sat in comfortable silence for a minute before you said something.

"So since your not doing anything-"

"I'm working." He cut you off.

"Since your not doing anything." You repeated yourself. "And I don't have to meet up with Emily till later, do you wanna go get some coffee?"

"That sounds good."

~~~~~

It had now been a few of months since you and Aaron's first date. You guys had had many nights on your couch watching movies and eating bowl after bowl of popcorn. Jack had even joined you guys sometimes. Whenever he was there you guys would watch a Disney movie and you weren't complaining. Jack would stay in the guest room that was down the hall from yours.

The first time Aaron had slept over at your house was after a long case. His excuse for staying with you was he didn't want to drive all the way home, when he only lived a few minutes away. You didn't protest at the idea.

It first started off weird cause you hadn't slept next to someone in a very long time. You weren't used to stretching your arm out and someone actually being there.

As for telling people on the team about the new found relationship between you too, nothing was said. Except for the fact that Rossi caught you too a little to close in his office.

You both had thought everyone went home. You too were discussing if you were going to go out to get something to eat or just order something. He had stepped around his desk to grab your hips.

"I don't care as long as I'm with you." He smiled showing off his dimples. You stand on you tippy toes to place a soft kiss on his lips.

"Oh sorry." Rossis face was in complete shock when he stepped back out of the office. He couldn't believe that it just happened. You too had taken so many precautions to not give anyway anything. But just forgetting to make sure the door was locked or make sure no one else was in the office had slipped you mind. You head hit Aaron's chest.

"I'm gonna go talk to him." You removed yourself from his grip and mumbled something about meeting him at home.

Hotch walked across the catwalk to Rossi's office. He could see through the blinds that Rossi was sitting at his desk like he hadn't seen anything. Hotch opens the door and Rossi didn't look up.

"So how long has that been going on?" There was no hesitation from question. Hotch moves to sit in the chair across from his desk.

"4 months." Rossi looks up in pure shock.

"Really?" Aaron nodded. He hadn't suspected anything from you two. "You could've told me you know." Rossi pointed out.

"I know but we were trying to get thing figured out for ourselves."

"And have you?" The grin from Rossi face hadn't disappeared.

"Yes."

"Good."

"Don't tell anyone else, we're trying to map out a plan for that." Hotch added before stepping out.

"Now why would I do that." It was more of a rhetorical question. "I wouldn't have anything to hang over your head." Rossi smile was big. Aaron's rolled his eyes and walked out of his office.

For the next month you two made sure to be extra careful when around the team. Even though no ones radars were up you still had to be careful. Going to Rossi get together we're very difficult. You two would sneak glances from across the living room. Rossi would take note at how many times it would happen within the hour.

Things with you too were easy. You did have to beg him to tell you stuff if just came up. He was easy to talk to. So understanding. You didn't know what you had done right in a past life to deserve him, but you glad it happened.

~~~~~

"Hey where you going?" You asked Emily when she grabbed her go bag.

"Colorado. There was an anonymous tip came in about a church leader was molesting the girls in the church." Emily said.

"Oh shit."

"It worries more cause I'm going with Reid." Reid had been off his game for a while. He had told you about his headaches. He told you he went to the doctors but they couldn't find anything wrong with him. He didn't believe a word they said.

"Do you want me to come instead?" You asked.

"I don't think Hotch will like that idea." Emily looked at Hotch in his office.

"I'll deal with that." You walked to his office and knocked. You opened the door and saw his staring so intensely at the papers.

"Emily and I both agreed that it would be better if her and I went to Colorado instead of her and Reid." You said.

"Why is that?" He folded his hands.

"Because Reid's head is somewhere else, and we don't think he'll be able to focus." Spencer had told you not to tell anyone else about the headaches.

"That sounds fine."

"Ok well I'll see you when we get back."

"Ok." He gave you a small smile and you went to go inform Emily and Spencer. Spencer was thankful that you guys had the same mind. You guys cause split up the work so he's not stressed.

The plan ride to there was fairly quiet. Emily knew you wouldn't appreciate it if she took a deep dive into your life while on your way to a case. In the car on the way there you wondered why the hell you wanted to come along. Talking to kids who may have been molested. It was the job.

"Considering the view these guys have on outsiders it would be best if you don't identify us as F.B.I." Emily said to the detective that was with you guys. She handed you her gun and you put it in your bag. You handed her the badges that didn't say FBI.

"Just use our real names,and introduce us as child victim interview experts." You chimed in from the back seat of the car.You guys pulled up the the church, already getting some dirty looks. There was a man sitting on the stairs waiting for your arrival. You step out of the car and fix your jacket feeling a little uneasy.

"We're looking for a Mr. Benjamin Cyrus." The detective said and walked up the the man.

"You found him." Cyrus stood from the stairs.

"I'm Nancy Lunde. We spoke on the phone regarding the allegation."

"Savages, they call us cause our manners differ from theirs." You could tell Emily and the Detective were confused.

"We didn't come here to hear you cite scripture, Mr. Cyrus." Nancy said.

"Actually it's Benjamin Franklin." You chimed in remind Nancy that you guys were there.

"Emily Prentiss and y/n l/n. They're child victim interview experts." She introduced you.

"How far from God's word much we have strayed for there to be a need to invent a job called child victim interview experts?" He looked at the both of you.

"We wish we didn't have to be here." Emily said.

"So do we. But you are welcome, nonetheless. The children are in the school as I indicated." He pointed to the school.

"Thank you." Emily said as she and Nancy walked past.

"Your using solar power?" You pointed at the panels.

"Yeah. We're completely self-sufficient- electricity, food, water. Ben Franklin said, God helps those that help themselves. You look surprised."

"No...impressed actually." You shrug. You both follow the others to the school.

You stood next to Emily as she sat across from one of the girls. You could tell the girl was brainwashed. She sounds just like Cyrus, quoting the bible when ever she had the chance. Her mom looked uneasy when she spoke. 

"Why are you here." The girl asked.

"We received a phone call alleging that an adult male meme we or your church was having inappropriate relations with the younger women here." Emily said.

"You're talking about Cyrus." Jessica the younger girl said.

"What makes you say that?" Emily asked.

"Jessie, come on. Shh." Her mom said and put her hand on her shoulder.

"Is it inappropriate for a husband to share a bed with his wife?" She looked annoyed when she spoke.

"Your married to Cyrus?" Emily was confused but you watch both the faces of mom and child.

"Yes."

"Jessica your 15 years old. The state of Colorado requires Parental consent." Emily said.

"She gave consent." You said and looked at the mom then down at Emily. Before Emily

had a chance to say anything there were men busting through the door carrying rifles.

"What's going on?" Nancy asked from the other side of the room.

"I just got a very strange phone call from a new reporter. is there anything you wanted to tell me about the raid maybe?" Cyrus said he was holding a gun too. There was a man that came up behind you and Emily. He patted you down making sure you didn't have any weapons. Thankfully you had left them in the car. Who knows what would've happened if you were still armed. At the mention of a raid you and Emily gave each other confused looks.

"They don't know." Cyrus read your faces. Before you had a chance to ask what was going on you were being pushed through a tunnel that was under the school. It looked like this had been constructed a long time ago. You heard stomps come from above you. Then gunshots. You tried to keep everyone as calm as the could be.

"It's the state police, I'm an officer of the state." Nancy said.

"Well, there's nothing you can do right now." Emily said.

"I can talk to him." Nancy said and made her way to the front of the group.

"No, you can't it's dangerous. Nancy stop!" She tried to go after her hit you pulled her back. Even if she had gotten away from you there was a guy standing with a gun blockingthe way.

It had been a while of hearing gunshots and since Nancy hadn't come back.

"Where Lunde?" Emily asked as Cyrus walked in.

"It wasn't us." He said.

"What?? You can't shoot it out with the cops! You have children here." Emily point to all the kids behind her.

"I didn't start this." Cyrus turned away.

After a while the yelling and shooting stop.

~~~~~

JJ rushed into the bullpen with the TV remote in her hand.

"Morgan."

"What's up?" He could see the worried look on her face. She turned on the TV and listen to the reporter.

"JJ that's not the ranch where Prentiss and y/l are-" He stood.

"They're still inside." JJ said.

"Hotch!" Morgan yelled to Hotch's office. Hotch jumped at the scream and rushed out of his office. "The TV. Prentiss and y/l." The sound of your last name made him lose all feeling in his body. Rossi walked out of his office and stood with Hotch on the catwalk looked at the TV. After hearing that all the interviewers were still inside all the phones started ringing.

"All right that means we're the lead with hostage rescue and support. Let's go." He tried not to let his voice sound shaky.

As the team went on about the case trying to figure out what the had missed. What causes this to happen the day you and Prentiss were there. Hotch couldn't say anything. His head was foggy. This wasn't the best time for him to stop functioning.

As the team arrives Hotch started panicking.

"Dave, they left the choice of negotiation up to me." Hotch said a turned around to face Rossi.

"I taught most of the most of the hostage negotiations unit. You was a recommendation?" Rossi asked.

"I'm making you the lead negotiator." Hotch's face wasn't as stern as it normally was.

"Me?" Rossi was confused.

"Well go to the students when I have the teacher?"

"Because the teacher is emotionally involved. So is the agent in command." Rossi pointed out.

"I know I am. This is a unique situation. We have two agents who could affect how come on the inside." Hotch was trying to find a reason for him not to be able to do it.

"True but I can't be objective! I know them too well."

"So do I. Your the only other person that can predict the moves of Prentiss and y/l. That's why your the best of for the job."

"Assuming that Prentiss and y/l are still in a condition to make moves." Hotch exhaled a deep breath. He knew Rossi was being realistic.

"I know how bad this is. That why I want you doing the talking." Rossi could tell his mind was somewhere else so he stopped arguing.

"All right."

They all went over the tactical plan on how everything was going to go. Rossi was in the middle of tell everyone that they may not be able to get everyone out. Hotch felt his legs buckle. He used the wall as support.

"Who am I speaking too?" Cyrus asked over the phone.

"David Rossi, I'm an FBI agent. We sent the state police away. There's just us and the local sheriff. All we want to do is resolve this before anyone else gets hurt." Rossi said.

"Then leave us alone." Cyrus looked out the window.

"I'm afraid we can't do that, Benjamin. One of the police bled out on the way to the hospital. So let's just stop this before things get worse."Rossi said. "Please, just put down your guns and come out."

They had been told that a swat member had been shot and didn't make it. They had no idea about you and Prentiss. They didn't know where your were. If you guys were safe. If you guess were alive...

"Now, the 3 child services workers..."

"One of them is dead. It wasn't us." Cyrus gave the news and Hotch took a deep breath that wouldn't be noticeable but anyone else.

"so need a name to inform the family." Rossi was able to keep his composure.

"Her name was Nancy Lunde." You could see the relief physically lift from everyone's shoulders.

Rossi was going to be the one to bring in supplies to gain their trust. Everyone fought him on it. They wanted to go in with him but Rossi refused. The other officer was putting bugs in the supplies so they would able to hear what's going on in the inside. Hotch hoped you guys would be able to get them before they other members found them.

"How familiar are Agents Prentiss and y/l with our play book?" The officer asked.

"The BAU wrote the cirg handbook. They'll know that we're trying to get ears in there at all times." This was one of the first times Hotch had spoken.

~~~~~

It was the next morning and Rossi was on his way to church. He walked up to the front door and ignored the blood spatter that was on the wall. Rossi knocked and the door opened slowly.

"Dave?" Cyrus poked his head out. Rossi nodded. "Come in." He opened the door more. Rossi walked in and was met with a man standing in his way hold a very large gun. Rossi past the box of stuff to another man that was standing in the front. They patted him down and Rossi scanned the room looking for your guys faces. He couldn't see you. He walked in further with Cyrus.

"The children, and our guests." Cyrus nodded to you and Emily. The two of you sat on the corner of one of the rows. Rossi glanced in the direction of where you guys sat.

Cyrus had denied Rossi request to take the children. They had exchanged some more worlds that you couldn't hear. You looked around the room and when you looked back to the door Rossi was gone.

Rossi walked back in to the trailer where everyone was sitting. Hotch had been pacing back and forth the minute Rossi left.

"Y/L and Prentiss are ok." Rossi said more to Hotch then to the rest of the team. He visibly relaxed.

"Cyrus was to calm, like he knew this was going to happen."

"We're getting a signal." Said the detective. They all grab a headphone to hear.

"We drank to poison together." Wad the first tug they heard.


	7. Minimal Loss pt.2

"This doesn't fit I looked him in the eye he was calm, lucid." Rossi wasn't believing what he was hearing.

"They're committing mass suicide," Hotch said still listening.

"We don't know that for sure," Rossi said.

"Rossi, he just said it." Derek was getting mad.

"We're ready to go." The detective has his men ready to go in.

"If we go in now people are going to die." Rossi was the only one protesting.

"People are already dying," Hotch said.

~~~~~

"What do we do?" Emily asked.

"Nothing." You said.

"We have to do something these people just took poison."

"No, Cyrus just told them they did, and I

think he's bluffing." You said.

"Why do you think that."

"Just after he told them about the poison, he waited for them to start to react. And he nodded to call. And he started writing. Look." You gestured towards the two men in the front. "Their scanning the audience looking for reactions."

"The writing down the names of the people who are crying." Emily was realizing the same thing you were.

"It's a loyalty test." You finished.

"So he knows who fall him to the end." You started to think of different way you could that information to the team. You and Emily both knew that they would try to get bugs in. The really question was how were they gonna do it?

After taking a minute to discuss Cyrus finally spoke. He clarified that there was no poison.

~~~~~

"You guys need to see this." JJ walked over with a computer showing the news reporters.

"Now well into its second second day, The standoff at the septarian sect ranch has now been taken over by the FBI. There was much more speculation in regard to the hostages. but anonymous sources inside the state attorney generals office have told us that there is an undercover FBI agent currently being held inside this septarian sect ranch. hostage negotiator say they are making headway with a sects learner." 

The report goes on to say that they didn't know why an undercover FBI agent had been sent it. The team knew even on the ranch had access the news.

Hotch's head started spinning. There was a high chance they would kill you or Emily suspected you had lied. The thought of you dying made Hotch weak. He couldn't focus on what everyone else was telling him.

~~~~~

At some point of being in the back you had found the wires in the box of supplies Rossi had brought in. You slowly take out the wire from the box and place it just enough under your shirt where are you couldn't see it.

"Oh I really hope this this is turned on." You said to yourself and turning back to Emily. They had escorted you guys back to the basement for some reason. Only being down there for a few minutes Cyrus comes through the door.

"Which one of you is it?" He pulled a gun from his belt. "Which one of you is the FBI agent?" You and Emily looked at each other.

"Why do you assume one of us is an FBI agent?" Emily asked.

"God will forgive me for what I must do." Cyrus pointed the gun go Emily head.

"I- I don't know what you're talking about." She wasn't going to break and you knew that.

"One of you does, who is it?"

"Me." Emily vision shifted to you. "It's me." Cyrus took the gun off of Emily. Emily opened her mouth to say something it, but Cyrus had grabbed you by your hair.

~~~~~

He drags you out of the tunnels by your hair. He takes you to the other side of the church. He takes you to an empty room and throws you on the floor. You groan as you try to get back up. Before you had a chance to stand on your own two feet Cyrus smack you in the face causing you to lose your balance again. You head smacks the concertante floor. Everything was spinning. He kicks you in the stomach. And again. And again. And again.

Hotch couldn't take listening to you getting hurt, but he couldn't take off the headphones. It took everything in him not to go in there and shot Cyrus in the head.

Cyrus was reciting a quotes from the bible's as he punched you in the face. You whipped back you hard your head hits a mirror that was behind you. You try to stand to stand tall but everything hurt.

"I can take it." You say as stern as you possibly could.

"Oh, you can take it." Cyrus come up to you and hit you.

"Listen to whats she's saying." Rossi tells everyone. Hotch gives him the I-cant-do-this-anymore look. "Listen he repeats himself.

You pull yourself back to your feet but slightly hunched over.

"I can take it." You wipe off the blood that was coming from your nose.

"She antagonizing him." Spencer said.

"She's not talking to him." Rossi corrected him.

"She's talking to us. She's telling us not to come in." Hotch hung his head. You were too strong for your own good. You never asked anyone for help. Always did it by yourself. It was his best and worst quality.

"Pride comes before the fall." He brings his fist to your gut one last time. He lets you fall to the ground. You roll around trying to find a spot that didn't hurt. No luck. You vision get blurry and your hands start to shake.

~~~~~

You open your eyes and your in a room, on a bed. You went from a concrete floor to a bed. You turn your head to see Jessica's mom sitting in the edge of the bed. She was cleaning the blood that came from you nose.

"You should've told Cyrus who you were. He's a prophet. He predicted Satan's armies would come in and lay siege to us." She said when she saw you had woken up.

"There's a name for that kind of prophecy- self fulfilling."

"You don't know how dangerous it is to lie to him." Well you did know he almost killed you.

"I know we will take a brave woman to defy him, knowing the consequences. And that that woman would have to have a damn good reason to do it." You said instead. She looked up as if to make sure no one was listening. She stood from her seat and walked out.

You stare at the ceiling hoping that the rest of the team knew what to do. You breathing got slower. You felt your eyes start to close but you force them open. You weren't letting yourself fall asleep mostly because you didn't know if you were going to wake up.

You heard the door open. You thought it was Jessica's mom but a familiar face came into view. It was Emily. She stood over you in awe. blood was all over your shirt and pants. You hand were behind you back. The bruises on your face started to darken. You forced a small smile when you saw her.

"I'm so sorry." She crouched down to your level.

"It's ok." You could barley get the words out.

"It should've been me."

"Emily I opened my mouth. I took the blame knowing what it was going to cost me." There was no use for her to argue with you. She didn't know what else to say but you need something.

"Emily I need you to do something for me."

"No, we're not doing that. Were not gonna do the whole tell someone I love them. No cause you can do it when we get out of here."

"Emily please." You begged.

"No we're gonna get out and then you can talk to who ever you need too."

"Emily, my heart rate is slowing down. I'm dizzy which mean I'm not getting enough oxygen to my brain. I can barley keep my eyes open. I know that if I closed them, I won't wake up." You swallow hard. "So please."

"Ok." She gave in knowing you were right.

"Tell Aaron that him and Jake are the best that had ever happened to me." There was so much confusion on her face but she took the order anyway.

"Ok." She nodded. "Look out for the team they should be giving us a sign to when they're are gonna come." You nodded the best you could. she rose to her feet and walked out.

You weren't going to allow yourself to die. At least not there. You lay awake think of all the moments you cherished with Aaron and Jack. There weren't many but still some. You wanted to make more. So many more. You were brought out of your thoughts when you heard doors to a truck close. That could be the team.

"If you can hear me I know you're coming, I can try to get the women and children down to the tunnel, but I need to know when you're coming." You repeated yourself into you saw a laser pointer come through the window.

"Ok. Ok. I got you. What time?" You asked. 3 quick blinks from the laser pointer.

"3 a.m.?" You asked. The pointed moved up and down.

"Ok. Emily is on the first floor somewhere with Cyrus. And please remember that there's are children here." You threw you head on the pillow. You heard the door open. It was Jessica's mom. She helps you sit up to give you water.

"Cyrus is planning a mess suicide. You made that 911 call." You told her.

"This is all my fault. None of this would've happened if I have made that call."

"You were trying to protect your daughter."She went on to tell you hi there had been other girl last before Jessie. And all she wanted to do was take her and run but she was scared she would never leave Cyrus.

"I can give you another chance the FBI is coming here at 3 a.m. I need you to gather Jessica, the kids, and the other women. Get them into the basement just before 3 a.m." You watched as she moved to the other side of the room.

"Why are you telling me this."

"Because I have faith that you can do the right thing for your daughter." She walked out and you wondered if you made the wrong call by telling her that.

~~~~~

"I know I can't go in there." Hotch said when you felt Rossi walk up.

"I know you can't, but I am." Rossi said.

"If something happens to Emily or Y/N..." He voice trailed off at the thought of you.

"She alive, Derek heard her. She sounded weak but she's alive." He knew all that mattered was that you were alive. Rossi patted his shoulder and walked away.

~~~~~

"You were right they have this places wired to blow up." Jessica's mom ran into the room and untied you hands. "I told Jessica Cyrus said to get all the women and children to the basement. But it's 2:45 we have to hurry." You ignored the pain in you stomach and ran through the hall. You find yourself in the basement met by Derek, Rossi and Spencer. The SWAT team was right behind them.

"Where's Emily?" Derek asked

"In the church was Cyrus. We go to go get her."

"Y/L you gotta get outta here." Derek said.

"We gotta get Emily first."

"We will get her, go." You felt Rossi grab your arm and pull you out side. It was dark. It took your eyes a moment to focus in the dark. You find Aaron at the end of the steps. You ran down the stairs and threw yourself in his arms. You had the tightest grip on you. It hurt like hell but you weren't about to stop him. You buried your face in his chest. You breathed in all his cologne, it smelt like home He smelt like home.

"Are you ok?" He whispered in your hair.

"I'm ok."He hardly heard you. The whole time he held you his grip never changed, like you were going to slip out his hands. Which you eventually did when you heard your name being called. Emily was running up behind you. Turned around to wrap your arms around her.

"We're ok." She said.

"We're ok." You repeated. She loosened on you, she knew there were more important people that wanted to hold you. His face hadn't change since you came out. They all insisted that you go to the hospital. You knew it was the best idea but all you wanted to do was go home and curl up into a ball next to Aaron. But you found yourself in an ambulance sitting with Emily.

You sitting in a hospital in the ER with Emily when the rest of the team walks in. Derek makes a comment about how it's nice not being the one in the bed for once. You laugh but it hurts. Reid was in the middle of give the ratio of Derek being in the hospital vs everyone else when the doctor walks in.

"Wow, there's a lot more of you guys in here now." The doctor said.

"This is the rest of the team." You gestured to them.

"Ok well, I'm Dr. Grey I am a General Surgeon, I was paged to take you up for some scans. So I'm going to go admit you, and find you a room that can fit all of you." You smiled and walked away.

"The need to get you a head CT." Spencer looked at the blood that had dried in your hair.

"I'm aware." You pushed his face away from you head. "But I'm feeling better."

"Your adrenaline is still going." Derek said from the foot of the bed. You rolled your eyes cause you knew he was right. You glanced at Aaron. He had his boss face on, but you could see the worry in his eyes.

The doctor had come back and gave the team the room number and took you to go get your scan.

"I'm sorry about them. We tend to get the rules when one of us is injured." You said to Dr.Grey who had been pushing you in a wheelchair.

"It's ok I completely understand, I've worked on many police officers and their squads tend to be much bigger then yours."

"Yeah our team maybe small but we're all a family, you know?"

"I get it."

After sitting in multiple machines for who knows how long. You were finally heading back to your room. You were met with everyone sitting expect Emily and Hotch. Their warms smile made you feel safe. You hoist yourself into the bed trying to avoid flashing your ass to the whole team. Emily and Hotch move to either side of you as the doctor out an IV in your arm.

Derek mumbled something about being hungry so him, JJ and Reid went to go find a vending machine. Emily has no hesitation to open her mouth.

"So how long has that been going on?" Emily whispered and point to you and Aarons hands that together. Aaron raises an eyebrow at you.

"I may have told her to tell you something, because I thought I was dying." You cleared the air.

"And what is this something you wanted to tell to me?" He asked.

"Nothing." You turn to Emily and gave her the shut-up look.

"You probably said you loved him. Cause that's what most people say." Rossi chimed in from the corner of the room.

"He's knows too?" Emily asked and you both nodded. "How long?" She asked again.

"5 months." You stated

"You've been with him for 5 months and haven't told me." Her voice got higher.

"I'm sorry. But I didn't know how to tell you." You said and the doctor walked in before Emily had a chance to say anything else.

"So, you have an acute bleed in your upper right quadrant. Which simply means-"

"I have a small bleed in my upper abdomen I know." You cut her off.

"Ok then, Since the bleed is so small it should clear up on its own. Your CT scan showed that you have a minor concussion, but it is borderline on something that can become

more major. So I would like to keep you here for a couple of day just to be sure that it doesn't become something big."

"Ok." You simply agreed.

"You the first officer or agent that I've treated that hasn't refused to stay for observation." She laughed.

"Yeah well the blond and the guy with the muscles that just walked out of here like 2 of my closest friends. The guy with the long hair, we have the same mind so we know what a major concussion can do. This one right here." You pointed to Emily. "We were together when this all happened, she blames herself for it even though I knew what I was doing." You pointed to Rossi who hadn't moved from his chair. "He's like a father to me." You looked at Aaron. "And this one right here." You placed your hand on his. "He's my boss and my boyfriend, so I don't have much leeway." The doctor smiled and nodded along.

"And I'd really appreciate it if you didn't tell the one with the muscle, the blonde one and the guy with the longer that he's my boyfriend cause we haven't figured out a way yet."

"My lips are sealed. Now try to get some sleep." She walked out.

"You heard the doctor." Emily said. She and Rossi said their goodnight leave you and Aaron alone.

"Hi." You lay on your side to face him.

"Hi." He placed his hand on you cheek and runs his thumb over the bruises.

"I'm gonna be ok." You reassured me.

"I know, it just I could've lost you."

"But you didn't, I'm still breathing." You out your hand into of the one that was on your cheek.

"I know but it doesn't feel real." You lean forward to place a kiss on his lips. Nothing felt better. You look at his eyes that soothed slightly since the last time you saw them.

"Ok, try to get some sleep." His stood and kissed your forehead.

"Where do you think your going?" You asked looking up at him.

"To the waiting room to talk with the rest the team."

"Well since you've graced me with you presents when I sleep. I find myself not being able to fall asleep with you not there." You admitted.

"Oh really." He said and sat on the bed. You moved closer to the other side so he had space. He laid down and opened his arms for you put yourself between them. You snuggle as close to his chest as you could. The sound of his steady heartbeat mixed with the small circles being drawn on your back made you fall asleep within a minute.


	8. Going Home

You had been in the hospital for 2 days now. You had told the team to go back home multiple times but they said they were going to wait for you. Dr. Grey said that things werestarting to clear up and you could go home at the end of the day.

"Can she fly home with us?" Emily asked the doctor.

"Yes." You answered.

"You're not a doctor." She looked over at you.

"Well, technically I am."

"You know what I mean." She looked back over to the doctor.

"You can fly, but you need to be cleared by your primary doctor to be able to go back in the field." You signing the discharge papers. You didn't pay attention to what she was saying because you knew everyone else was. Once they took your IV out you were free to go. Everyone watched as you walked to the bathroom to change back into your normal clothes. A sweater and some leggings were all the clean clothes you had. You walked out and no one's gaze had left the bathroom door.

"You guys are creeps." You said watched everyone crack a small smile. You slowly make it to the wheelchair that was waiting for you. Aaron felt helpless. He couldn't do anything to ease your pain. He couldn't even look as conceded as the rest of the team without drawing suspension. You knew the second you guys got home he was going in 100% boyfriend mood.

Emily was one along with Hotch that hasn't left your side since you guys made it out of the church. The car ride was silent and it was hard for you to keep your eyes open. The darkness from outside didn't help either. You forced your eyes open when you pulled up to the jet. You go to the truck to grab the bag that was soon taken from you by Derek. You didn't have the energy to argue with him. You walked over to the couch that was awaiting you. JJ threw a blanket over you. You saw Aaron and Emily take the seat that was across from you. Before they had a chance to close the door to the jet you were fast asleep.

You were so tired but you couldn't keep yourself sleeping. Your eyes were closed but you could hear everything.

"Wait so how did all this start?" It was Emily you could tell she was talking to Aaron.

"After the case in her hometown. I told her to finish her doctorate...and I kissed her." You could hear the smile in his voice.

"Who knew Aaron Hotchner was so spontaneous," Emily said.

"Do you love her?" Your heart started beating out of your chest and you were certain they could hear it.

"Yeah, I do," Aaron responds with no hesitation.

"Have you told her that?" Emily wasn't as shocked to hear this as you were.

"I don't know how." Aaron didn't know how to be a person outside of this job sometimes. So you appreciated every time you guys went out cause you knew it didn't come around a lot.

"You say, Y/N I love you. It's just that easy." Emily saying it like it was common knowledge. Which I guess it was. But since Aaron hadn't been in many relationships he forgot how they worked. That's why you two hadn't slept together yet. It was something you both had agreed upon after the first few dates. It wasn't something either of you just jumped into. You wanted it to mean something. Everything with him meant something but still.

You shift your body on the couch and everyone held their breath thinking you were going to wake up. You pull the blanket over your face and open your eyes. Should you just say you heard it. Do you play it off like you were sleeping the whole time? You exhale deeply and pull the blanket off your face. You were met with two pairs of eyes.

"Well hello there," Emily said and you smiled to the best of your ability.

"Are we almost home?" You asked and snuggled into the blanket.

"We have another 2 hours." Aaron stood from his seat and crouch down to your eye level. He didn't suspect a thing. You nodded and he placed his hand on one of the bruises on your cheek. "Go back to sleep you need your rest." He kissed the top of your head.

"I've been resting for 2 days." You mumbled.

"Well, you gonna be doing that for a while, so get used to it." He stood up and you glared as he walked back to his seat. Emily just smiled at the whole interaction. You close your eyes when there was a sudden buzzing in your pocket. You pull out your phone, it was Emily.

You heard us talking, didn't you?

She knew you better than anyone. She knew what it looked like when you faked sleeping.

Maybe.

Do you love him?

So much.

You guys are both dumb. You love each other so just say it.

She was right and you knew that. You looked up to her, she had started talking with Aaron about something else cause he had his boss face on. You stuff your phone back in your pocket and snuggle back into the blanket.

~~~~~

The plane had landed and you guys were finally home. Emily stood over you and shook you. Nothing. She grabbed you and shook you a little harder. You slapped her arm and mumbled something about leaving you alone.

"This is why I don't wake her." Emily said to the rest of the team. Derek stepped over and took the blanket off of you. You groaned andopened you eyes.

"Asshole." You move to sit up when a sharppain went straight to your stomach. Derek holds his hand out to help you up. That was about the only time you took help from someone. He helps walk you to the car. You climb into the passenger seat while Aaron get on the drivers side. It wasn't irregular for you to drive with Aaron, but it was for Emily to ride with you two. It was almost 11 o'clock when you all pulled up the the BAU.

"Can you get me the files that are on my desk?" You asked as Aaron parked.

"I'm not getting you any work. You have to distress for the next couple of days."

"This job. Distress. Have fun with that." Emily said from the back seat.

"If you get work then I get work." You ignored her

"I get work cause I'm the boss." He said.

"Exactly, and my boss would be pissed if I didn't get my paperwork in on time." You had a point and he knew there was no arguing with you.

"I could think of a few things you could do to not make him so mad." Emily added. Neither of you acknowledged what said has said.

"Fine." He turned off the car and stepped out. Emily grabbed her bag from the truck and came up to the window.

"I'll be by tomorrow to come check on you." She didn't mean that as a request.

"You don't think the boss man can deal with me on his own?" You asked jokingly.

"I'm sure he can, I just wanna make sure everything's ok."

"Emily I'm gonna be fine." You moved your hand up and down her arm.

"I know, cause Hotch won't let you move a muscle with out telling him."

"Very true." You agreed when Derek walked over.

"You gonna be ok kiddo? You need a ride home?" Derek asked.

"I'll be fine. Hotch is gonna drop me, my place is on the way to his." You weren't lying. He was dropping you off and his house was close to yours, just he wasn't going to leave your house. You waved by to everyone and waited for Aaron to get back. When you got back in the car he handed you 3 files.

"Ok I know there was at least 7 more on my

desk." You take them from his hand and put them in your lap.

"I know there was, but I don't want you to worry about it." He out his stack of files in his bag. He pulled out of the parking spot and you watched his every move.

"Is everything ok?" He asked an placed his hand on your thigh.

"I over heard you and Emily's conversation on the jet." You started and his face stiffened a little. "I just... wanted to say.... that...I love you." You put his hand in yours.

"I love you too." He said with no hesitation.

~~~~~

The light shine through the curtain and beam right on your eyes. You squeeze your eyes shut and move you head further into Aaron'schest. There was no chance in hell that you were gonna go back to sleep. When you open your eyes you could see Aaron was out. He doesn't move in his sleep, unless he's having a nightmare. It was early, everything still had and oranges glow to it. You slow maneuver your way out of his arms. Nothing was hurting yet which was unexpected. You move to the window to close the curtains. He the one that hasn't slept in 3 days.

When you step in the shower you let the cold water run down your back. You were just about the only person in the world to take a cold shower in November. But it was the only thing that was gonna wake you up.The bruises on your stomach weren't as dark as they were 3 days earlier.

When you step out and wrap a towel around you there was a knock at the door.

"Yeah?" Aaron's opens the door and peeks his head in.

"How long have you been awake?"

"Like 20 minutes."

"Why didn't you wake me?" He steps in and closes the door. He looks at the bruises on his face.

"Cause you looked more tired then I am. You've been awake since I've been in the hospital." You run your hand down his arm.

"Well I'm just making sure your taking it easy cause we both know your going to junk back into work to soon."

"Week and a half." That was all you said.

"A week and a half for what?"

"A week and a half till my bruises are light enough for me to cover with make up. And a week and a half till my concussion is better. Until then I can stay with Penelope when you guys are gone." You were very clear on how things were going to go.

"You really did think it through."He said.

"Yeah well I hate sitting in my ass." You diverted your eyes.

"Your not sitting in your ass, your getting better."

"Well if I take too long to get better my body will forget what's it's like to be in the field."

"I'm sure Morgan won't let that happen." He smiled. He was right Morgan wasn't gonna make sure you didn't get rusty.

The team had gotten the next few days off so that meant staying in bed and nothing else. Aaron muttered something about getting Jack and you nodded along. You loved it when Jack was around cause that meant Aaron had to talk about something else other then work. It was also a nice sight, him being soft. He kissed you on the head and left the bathroom. You dried off and got dressed.

When you walked into your living room he was still putting his shoes on.

"Ok don't do anything drastic while I'm gone." He stood up.

"Yeah yeah yeah. Go get Jack." He dipped his head down to kiss you lips before walking out. You turn and see your apartment was a mess. There was a decent amount of food in the fridge, but a lot of dishes. Blankets and clothes covered the couch and the floor. When JJ calls at 3 o'clock in the morning organization isn't the first thing on your mind. You take your time walking to the living room to start picking up the clothes. You spread the blanket out on the couch so it looks more homie. After you finish washing the dishes and putting them away you plop down on the couch and find a child friendly movie for even Jack gets here. As of on cue both father and son walk through the door. 

"Y/N!" He yells and runs to you on the couch but then stops before jumping on you. 

"Hi." It a normal thing for him to get excited to see you even before you and Aaron started going out. But it was strange for him not to hug you. "No hug." You stick out you bottom lip. 

"My daddy said I can't jump on you because you got hurt." Jack said and stood awkwardly. You look up to see Aaron standing in the kitchen with a serious look. 

"Yeah one of the bad guys did hurt me but I'm ok now." His face lights up and falls into your lap. You pull him in for a tight hug, when he finds his seat next to you, Aaron walks over with pancakes. 

"I figured you didn't want to make breakfast." He hand you and Jack your plates. 

"You are correct." It was probably a good idea to put something else in your stomach besides hospital food.


	9. Finally

It's been about 2 weeks since you've been back at work, and about a week since everyone stops watching you like a hawk. Emily had been tiptoeing around you ever since you stepped foot in the office.

"Hey Em." You roll your chair over to her desk.

"Yeah?" She turns her head to look at you.

"Let's have lunch." It wasn't a question. You could tell she was iffy about it. "Emily the last time we were out together I almost died. I need you to know that I'm ok, for our friendship and this team's sake."

"Ok." You smiled and rolled back to your desk to grab your purse. When the two of you got in the car you guys decided that pizza sounded like a good choice. You guys made small talk about the team and the crazy amount of work you guys have been getting. She hasn't been able to ask you questions about you and Hotch yet, and you could tell deep down she wanted to know. You find a suitable table for the both of you. You look up from your food and see a deep grin on her face.

"Ask." You gave her permission.

"So it's been going on for 5 months?" She had no hesitation.

"It just hit 6 last week." You confirm.

"So you guys are really like serious."

"Yeah, I don't just say 'I love you' to everyone." You pointed out.

"No I know that, but are you guys moving in?"

"Not officially, but half of his and Jack's stuff is at my apartment. Plus he does have a key." Her eyes widened.

"He does!?"

"Yeah, cause he'll go to pick up Jack or go and get food and I'll be too lazy to open the door, but most of the time I am sleeping."

"Y/N, that's a big thing." She said it like you didn't know.

"Yeah, I know." You took a bite of your pizza.

"So...." She extended the word longer than she should've. You knew what was coming.

"So what?" You rolled your eye waiting for her to finish.

"So. how the sex?" She was a little too eager. You hesitate before answering.

"I don't know." You said softly.

"What do you mean you don't know? Can't Hotch..." Her words lingered not know how to finish the question.

"I'm sure he can." You defend him. "We just haven't done anything." You finished.

"Why not, it's been 6 months." She said it like it's been common knowledge for a while.

"I know, it's just whenever things are getting hot and heavy... we're in his office on the couch, Jack in the other room and we don't wanna risk him waking up, or we're in some random hotel in the middle of nowhere Oklahoma. It just never seems right."

"Well, it's never the right time to do anything." She had a point.

"It may sound childish, but I want it to be perfect."

"It's not your first time is it?" You almost choked on your pizza.

"No!"

"This may be a dumb question but, why does it have to be perfect?"

"Cause I have a feeling deep down saying this could be something amazing, Emily I don't get those often. When I do... I'm almost always right. I don't wanna fuck it up." The use of her same and some profanity told her that you were being serious. You both stare at your food before she breaks the silence.

"How did Rossi find out?"

~~~~~

When you both walk into the bullpen no one was there. They all went out to lunch which was shocking cause normally everyone works through lunch. You out your purse down and make you way up to the catwalk. You knock on the office door and hear a muffled come in.

"I knew you won't take a lunch so I brought you pizza." You place the box on the edge of his desk.

"Thank you." There was nothing else to say but you still sat in one of the chairs across from his desk. "Are you just gonna sit there and look at me?"

"Well you're fun to look at." A smile spreads across your face.

"Your not half bad yourself." He looked through the corner his eye and smirked.

"Well Emily had been informed about our personal lives so we shouldn't be getting any longing glances." You told him.

"Well you may get some from Rossi, I haven't told him much." He wasn't one for sharing his personal life, or gossip for that matter.

"Why haven't you?"

"Cause I don't tell him everything." He leaned back in his chair.

"Why not?" You walked over to the other side of the desk.

"Cause like I said last night I like it just being you, me and Jack."

"Oh well I won't tell Emily anything anymore." You shrugged.

"No you've been talking to Emily and the others since you started here, I don't expect you to change that." His hand went up and down your leg.

"Your amazing, have I told you that lately?"

"Not in a while."

"Well you are amazing." You lean down, cup his cheeks and place a kiss on his lips."An amazing father." Kiss. "An amazing boyfriend." Kiss. "An amazing Unit Chief." Kiss, you pull back and you can see the lust in his eyes. He pulls you on to his lap. The ends on your skirt ride up your sides. His hands rub the outside of your thighs. You pull your bottom lips between your teeth when you feel his pants grow tighter. Your hands trail to the back of his head and interlace with his hair. He pulls you in for another kiss. You let out a deep breath when his lips finally touch yours. You hold if as close as your possible can. You slowly rock your hips against him. He lets out a deep groan. He raises his hand up to your ass-

"Hotch do you know where-" Emily walked in. "Holy shit." She look at the ceiling trying to find the right words. "Ummm....I am so sorry."

"Emily shut the fucking door!" You yelled. She stepped into the room and put all her weight on the door when it was closed.Her eyes never left the ceiling. You move to stand on your own feet. You fix your skirt so it went back to covering everything. You try your best to wipe off the lipstick that you knew had been smudged.

"I was looking for Y/N, there a personal emergency regarding Penelope. I could say I couldn't find you if you have more important things to do."

"I'll be right there." You said not taking a breath.

"Yeah, ok. Come to her office when ever your...done." Emily walked out and shut the door. Neither of you said anything, just silence.

"We'll uh...talk later." You stutter over your words.

"Mhm." He hummed.

"Yeah." You whispered and walk out of his office. You turn your head and see Emily standing there waiting.

"What the hell was that?" She whispered.

"What did it look like?" You ask and walked down the steps.

"It looked like you guys were gonna fuck, in his office in the middle of the work day with the door unlocked."

"There's your answer." You kept your head straight.

"I thought you said you guys hadn't done anything yet." She was on your heels when you pushed through the glass doors.

"We haven't."

"Well you looked pretty comfortable up there." You stopped.

"Emily." You stood in front of her. "We will not speak of this...ever. Ok?"

"Oh you can't expect me to hold on to information like this and not tell anyone."

"Emily I swear if you tell anyone, I will play for everyone the every drunkin voice mail you left me." Her face fell. You remember right? The one where you said JJ makes you feel things no ones ever made you feel." You could be very evil when you wanted too.

"You wouldn't dare." She smirk clearly not believing you.

"Try me." You weren't laughing, but you both knew you didn't have the guts to actually do that. The way you were talking scared both of you. You turn to walk into Penelope's office.When you in everyone was huddled around her.

"What happened?"

"Kevin...he left." Penelope choked out.

"What do you mean he left?" You knew it was hard for her to talk so you looked at everyone else for an answer.

"He proposed, she said she didn't want to get married right now and he left her." JJ explained.

"That asshole." You sat in the chair across from her.

"I thought he understood me." Your heart broke. Penelope was the sweetest person alive and seeing her hurt made the world stop.

"I know." You grabbed her hands. "Do you want me to hack into his system and put a black hole so all his software deletes?" You were joking but also serious. She laughed and nodded along.

"Ok I'll do that."

"Do you want one of us to drive you home?" Derek asks.

"I need a drink." She said softly and wipes her tears away.

"We can arrange for that." You smiled.

"It's 5, do you think Hotch would mind if we left?" JJ asked and looked at you. Everyone was looking at you.

"Why are you asking me?"

"Cause your the closest to him." Spencer chimed in.

"I'll ask." Everyone nods. You stood up and made your way to the door. "Bring one of your laptops." Your said before walking out.

"For what." Penelope asks.

"Oh you think I was joking about hacking his system." Everyone smiled and you pushed through the door.

The glass door close behind you as you lock eyes with Aaron from his office. You grab your purse from you desk and walk to to his office. You stood a good distance away from his desk.

"Is everything ok with Penelope." He looked at you from across the room.

"Depends on your definition of 'ok'." He was confused."She's ok, her and Kevin split but nothing a bottle of tequila can't fix." You rocked back and fourth on you feet. "I sent to ask if we could leave early?"

"That's fine." It was a simple answer.

"Do you want to come with us? I'm sure Penelope would love to see you." You gave a half smile.

"Raincheck?"

You exhaled deeply. "Ok. Well umm I don't know how long you plan on stay here." You slowly lick your bottom lip. "But I'll leave a light on for you." Your small wink earns a big grin from him. Before walking out you say. "There's lipstick on your face. " You close the door behind you and walk across the bullpen. You could feel his eyes watching you walk away. You wipe the smile off your face when the team come into view.

"Boss man says it's ok." You stop and see Emily had a devilish smile on her face. You roll your eyes and walk into the elevator along with everyone else.

"Did you see if he wanted to tag along?" Penelope asked.

"Of course." You simply answer.

"And?" Emily asked from next to you.

"Raincheck." You mocked Aaron's deep voice which brought a smile to her face.

When getting to the bar JJ, Penelope and Emily wasted no time to order drinks. You found a table with Derek and Reid. You stared at your hands and listen to Reid go on about marriages and how 40-50% of marriage end in divorce.

"Are you gonna add something or just let him go?" Derek asked.

"The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher." Derek rolled his eyes. "I'm letting him get it out of his system before Penelope gets back."

"Did you guys know that the marriage rate in the United States is currently 6.8 per 1,000 total population. But both marriage rates AND divorce rates in the US are decreasing. That's because-"

"Recent studies have shown that millenials are choosing to wait longer to get married and staying married longer and are the main driver in the decline of both the marriage and divorce rate in the US." You finished for him. "Yes I know." He folded his lips together and nodded.

The girls come back with a tray of shots and your regular drinks. After protesting the slid on in front of you. You all cheers and take back the first drink. You make a small face and the burning sensation going down your throat. You watch as the girls go off of dance. You were going to go join when. You felt your phone start buzzing in your pocket. The phone screen lights up. Aaron was calling. You excused yourself from the table.

"Hey." It was soft.

"Hi." You tried not to smile as much, you knew Derek was watching you.

"I just wanted to ask when you were gonna come home?"

"Your already home?" You ask back.

"Well after you and Emily left my office I couldn't think straight."

"Well that makes two of us." You rub the back of your neck and press your back against the wall. It took everything in you not to grab your stuff and leave right then. What would happen if you did leave right now? Would these notice you were gone? Spencer was the only one at the table but Derek had seen you walk away. They would notice.

"Hello?" You were quiet longer then you had thought.

"Sorry I was thinking if I left now would anyone notice I was gone."

"And?"

"They would." You looked around.

"Well then stay, I'm sure Penelope's needs you more then I do." You look over and Emily was sitting with Spencer. There was someone new to keep him company.

"Let me see what I can do." You hung up and walked back to the table.

"I know that look." Emily said.

"Good so I don't have to explain." You put on your coat.

"Where you going?" Spencer asked.

"I'm gonna go meet up with a friend." You put it simply.

"Who?" You swallowed hard.

"Spence she's gonna go meet her boyfriend and she's gonna laid, stop asking her questions so she can leave." Emily answered for you. Spencer's eye widened with her answer.

"Tell Penelope I'm sorry I had to leave and I'll call her later. Love you." You yelled the last part as you walked out of the bar.

You got home in record breaking time. You ran up the stairs to your apartment door. You stopped right in front and tried to even out your breathing. When you open the door he was no where to be found.

"Hello?" You ask into the apartment. You hand up your coat and purse. You move to the couch to take off your heels.

"I didn't think you were gonna be able to get out that fast." He stood in the doorway of your room. You could tell he had just gotten out of the shower cause his hair was still wet. The ends of his selves were tight around his muscles.

"Well I have my ways." You walked over till you were standing right in front of him. His mind was going a million miles a second. His eyes were trying to read your face.

"Stop trying to over think this." You unbutton you shirt and let it fall go the ground.

His mouth was on yours before you could process that he'd moved. He teased open your lips with his tongue until you were gasping, struggling to maintain the kiss as your pounding heart demanded more and more oxygen. He moved to your neck then, sucking deep bruises into your flesh.

He slid his hands up to your hips, pulling you forward, wanting to life you off the ground.

"Aaron" you begged, not entirely sure what for, but you knew you needed something.

"Use your words," he chided, but as you opened your mouth to speak, he latched onto the sensitive skin above your collarbone and sucked, swallowing your words in a moan.Ordinarily, you'd have been embarrassed at your desperation, but the lust clouding your thoughts chased away all measures of shame.

"Fuck." you muttered when you'd regained your breath.

He smirked in response.

Of course he got off on this. It was an extension of the power he held in every aspect of his life, but now, there were no social niceties standing in his way. You certainly weren't complaining; it's not as if him barking orders to the team hadn't inspired a fantasy or two. But you were a bit out of your depth, your few sexual experiences having been altogether mediocre and vanilla.

Still, you were a quick learner.

"Fuck me, please. Sir," you added, and oh, he liked that. 

His eyes flashed and he hoisted you off the floor with ease, wrapping your legs around his waist and carrying you over to the bed. You stretched out on your back while he loomed over you, looking undeniably predatory.

His fingers found your clit immediately, circling it with a gentle pressure that had you arching into his hand within seconds. You tugged at his pants, but he pushed your hand away.

"Not yet. Tell me when you're close."

"I'm already close," you gasped, and it was true. You were so turned on you felt almost sick.

He smirked again. "Of course. I mean really close."

You closed your eyes and breathed, concentrating on not falling over the edge. He continued rubbing you in small circles, then slipped two fingers inside you, slowly pumping in and out.

You wanted so desperately to let him keep going, but you knew he'd be disappointed if you didn't follow his instructions, and you wanted to please him more than anything.

"Aaron, if you- I'm gonna..."

He removed his hand from between your legs, earning a protesting whine, he stood up at the edge of the bed. He stripped off his shirt first, then stepped out of his pants, letting you view all of him.

He was statuesque, almost - toned without being overly large. His shoulders and arms were cut from years of training, his torso taut. 

"Take your bra off," he instructed, blessedly derailing that train of thought, and you obliged.

He situated himself above you again and kissed you deeply, running his hands over your waist and kneading your breasts. You were shivering at the contact, nipples pebbling and goosebumps rising everywhere he touched.

"You're beautiful," he whispered. You reached a hand between your two bodies to grasp his cock.

"Holy shit," you said, and Aaron actually snorted in amusement.

He was long, you could tell from pumping your hand up and down his length, and thick enough that your fingers barely overlapped around him.

"I don't think I can-"

"Yes you can," he said, moving to align with your entrance, you nodded along.

Your retort was swallowed by him pushing inside - slowly, and despite his assurance that you could take him, watching for any signs of pain in your face.

There was no pain. In fact, when he pulled back and began to thrust, you were teetering back on the edge of an orgasm already.

You told him as much, thinking he'd instruct you to hold off again, but he just fucked you harder, his cock reaching a spot that shot white-hot pleasure through you every time. The feeling coiled up in your abdomen. You were close, so close, and you clenched instinctively, intensifying the slick drag against your inner walls.

The action earned a groan from Hotch, and that small sound did you in.

You clutched at his shoulders, reaching your peak, and you swore you saw fireworks explode against your eyelids. You were vaguely aware of moaning his name - a prayer, a plea, you weren't sure, and he clutched you closer, riding you through it. He murmured praises into your mouth, sounding close to breaking himself.

"Please," you whispered, once your mental faculties had somewhat returned, "I want to feel you."

With a few short, stuttering thrusts, he tensed, and you watched his face as he came. The tension left, frown lines lifting, and his lips slightly parted in a hissed intake of breath. He was beautiful, and he told him as much as he slowed, finally rolling off of you towards the middle of the bed.

For a second, you both laid and listened to the leaves shifting for the wind. You were floating, both from the endorphin cocktail that flooded your bloodstream and the consummation of the game it felt like you two had been playing for ages. You knew, though, that he was liable to be questioning this change to the fundamental nature of your relationship, so you rolled over and draped an arm across his chest. He pressed a kiss to your hairline and pulled you closer.


	10. It’s The Job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wasn’t feeling the name of this story anymore so I changed it, sorry if I confused you.

*Ring Ring Ring*

You feel the bare body under your shift.

"Mine or yours?" Aaron mumbles.

"That's not my ring tone." You hold him closer. He reaches over and grabs his phone. "That means I have 5 minutes."

"JJ what happened. How long ago? Did you call the rest of the team? Good, I'll be right there." It's never a good thing when JJ calls you so early.

"Wake up." He rubs your shoulder.

"I have 5 minutes." Once those words leave your lips your phone rings. "Oh come on." He hands you your phone. You put the phone on speaker and put it on his chest next to your face.

"Go away." You answered.

"I wish I could." You groaned. "Why'd you leave so early last night?" You forgot only Emily and Spencer saw you leave.

"I had to do something." It technically wasn't a lie.

"More like someone, according to Spence." Shit.

"JJ I know you didn't just call me at 3 in the morning to talk about my sex. What's the case?"

"A kid in Kansas was taken from their home about 2 hours ago." Cases with kids were the worst.

"Oh shit, ok I'll be there as soon as I can." You hung up.

"You told Reid?" You felt a laugh come from his chest.

"I didn't tell him, Emily said I was gonna meet my boyfriend and get laid." You explained. "And she wasn't wrong." You look up to him. He kisses the top of your head. The warmth of his body paralyzed you. If he didn't move there was no way in hell you were gonna get up.

"Ok time to get up." He was waiting for you to move because your body was on his.

"You will have to forcibly remove me from you, cause I will not get up voluntarily." You tightened your grip around him. He goes to grab your arm that was around him. "No, I didn't think you were gonna do it." You whine.

"We got to go." He slips out from under you and your face hits the bed.

"I know." You move to sit up when pain shoots through your body. You groan and lay back down.

"What's wrong?" He rushes back to you.

"Everything is sore." You roll onto your back which seems to soothe the pain.

"So I take it this isn't the best time to tell you that you should wear a scarf." His eyes drifted to your neck.

"Oh, it's gonna be a long day."

~~~~~

You tried to wait a few minutes before entering the building but the you remember there were two missing kids.

When walking into the round table room you were met with Derek and JJ. Hotch was hot in your heels. You out your purse on the side of the chair your regularly sit in.

"Well you look very cloak and daggery." JJ said as you walked over to the coffee pot.

"Thank you." You had on your black trench coat and a dark blue scarf.

"It's also been a while since we've seen the glasses." Derek added.

"Yeah well putting in contacts at 3 o'clock isn't a skill I've perfected yet." You sat down in the chair and tried not to scrunch your face. As your try to find a spot that doesn't hurt as much Hotch walks in. No one says anything like they had been talking about him. Emily walks in wearing the same thing you were minus the glass and her hair was more put together. There was no time to do the normal slick back bun you normally do, so you just settled with throwing it up in a regular bun.

"Why you guys so quiet?" Emily asked and sat next to you.

"What would you like us to talk about princess?" Derek asked and you sipped your coffee.

"We can talk about why Y/N left from the bar so early." You rolled her eyes.

"Or we could talk about the case." You suggested.

"But if we talk about that now, we'll have to repeat ourselves when everyone else gets here." Emily said. 

"Where'd you good?" Derek leaned back in his chair.

"I met up with a friend." You put it simply. Hotch had his face stuck in the file.

"A special friend?" JJ asked. "Cause I heard it was a special friend." You opened your moth to tell her to shut up when Rossi and Reid walked in.

"You look like a mess." Rossi sat between you and Hotch.

"Pensa agli affari tuoi." 'Mind your own business.' There were some benefits of there only being 3 of you who spoke the same language.

"Hai trascorso una notte a tarda notte?" 'Did you have a late night?' He smirked.

"Where's Penelope?" You asked JJ.

"Oh she's gonna come in when we get to Kansas. She said you can handle the background search's from here." You nodded. You and Penelope have had lengthy conversation about her software. It was just a precaution in cases something like this happens.

"Then let's get started." Hotch finally spoke.

"Kyle Murphy, 7 year old boy was abducted from his home about 2 hours ago. Father reports the he went to go check on him and he wasn't there." JJ stood and showed pictures of the little boy and his family. "The local police believe that this abduction is tied to other boys that were abducted and found in the woods." The other pictures of the boys popped up on the screen. They all spoke of ideas of how this could've happened but you couldn't take your eyes off the pictures.

"Wheels up in 30." He stood up and walked out of the room while the rest of you grabbed the files.

"How was it?" Emily whispered. In responds you let your eyes to the back of your head. "Really?!" You nodded and started to walk out.

"I was pissed when JJ called." You walked out if the room.

"I would be too." Emily said. You pushed through the glass doors. Aaron was already standing there waiting for the elevator. Emily stands between you. She tilts her head at him.

"Why are you staring at me?" He asked still looking at the elevator doors.

"I'm just seeing you in a new light." Emily smiled.

"Don't." He stepped into the elevator.

You rolled your eyes at both of them and walked in. You stare at your feet as they rock back and fourth. The three of you stood in silence. It took everything in you not to laugh at the situation. Emily was uncomfortable standing between you at Aaron she didn't try to hide it.

It was hard for you not to bite the inside of your cheek. Emily had informed you that it was one of your tells, ever since then you tried to stop.

The elevator ride felt like it lasted a century. When the doors finally opened Emily was the first to step out. You look up to see him smiling. You follow Emily to one of the cars. Rossi was already in the drivers seat with you stepped in. You say with Emily in the back as Aaron say in the passage seat. You shut your eyes and lean your head back in the head rest.

"What the hell is that?" Emily asked and pointed to your neck. You look down and saw that your scarf had unraveled. You quickly fix it and look up to meet Rossi's eyes in the review mirror.

"Nothing." There was nothing you could come up with. Emily reached over and pull off your scarf. Her eyes widen at the sight of the dark mark on your neck.

"You didn't even try to cover it." She says more to herself.

"There's not enough concealer in the world." You said.

"Yeah but you didn't even try." She laughed and you saw Rossi was smiling.

"Well they are covered."You snatch back your scarf and put it back on. You heard Aaron laugh from the conversation.

"And what are you laughing at? You put them there." He said nothing.

You tilted your head back and tried to relax yourself.When the car stopped you saw the rest of the team filing onto the jet.

You find your regular seat at the window. Your eyes starting feeling heavy, but you jump slightly when you feel someone sit next to you. You glance and see a suit. It was Aaron. You relax and lean back in your chair. He normally sat next to you so it did draw any weird looks.

Reid had handed you one of Penelope government laptops. Right you were supposed to be Garcia till she wakes up. Well no one can replace Penelope.

The background for Penelope's laptop was everyone at Rossi's house. There hasn't been many get together at Rossi's since you and Aaron started dating.

"Did you find anything on the families?" Derek asked.

"The activity on their credit cards have been slow the past couple of day, the wife normally goes to the store every other day for small items." You said and kept typing. "Besides that they look like a normal family."

"Can you see who they may have come in contact with in the past few months?" Emily asked. She sat across from you.

"Your gonna need to give a number." You said. You we're starting to understand why Penelope was sassy most of time.

"4 months."

"That's strange." You mumbled and Hotch look over at the computer. "The detective that called us in, he's very close with the Murphy's."

"How close?" Hotch asked.

"Him and Mr. Murphy grew up together, and they still talk on the regular." Everyone looked confused.

"Can you see what was said in there messages?" Hotch asked.

"If Penelope can do it, I can surely try." You dig a little deeper to find the messages. "Most of the conversation is about dinner party and birthday. They mostly call but those only last a few minutes." You looked up.

"How long we talkin?" Derek asked.

"Umm... less then 10 minutes. Considering how little they talked on the phone I would assume that they each other a lot."

"We'll discuss this more when we land, everyone try to get some sleep." You push the computer aside and lay your head in the side of the plane and shut your eyes. He slipped his hand on your thigh. He felt you relax under your touch. 

~~~~~

"You think you can lie to me and get away with it?" Cyrus slaps you across the face. Your regained your balance. He steps forward and punches your stomach. You fall to the ground.

"We've could've avoid all this." He kicks you.

"You don't have to keep doing this." You coughed out.

"You lied, this is what you get." He kicks you again. You coughed up blood every time he kicked you.

"God must forgive me for what I just do." He pulls a gun from the back on his pants and point it at you. You swallow hard. There was no escape.

"Please, don't" You begged.

"I have no choice." The barrel of the gun was cold when it touched your temple. A tear rolls down you cheek.

"I love you." You mumbled into the wire that was in your shirt. Aaron was listening and you knew that. You squeeze your eyes shut.

Bang.

"Y/N." Aaron voice was soft as he shook your shoulder. You open you eyes to see the whole team staring at you.

"What?" Your throat was dry.

"Your crying." Derek said. You lift your hand to your cheek, it was wet.

"Sorry." You wipe away the tears.

"What were you dreaming about?" Emily asked.

"Cyrus." Your eyes wandered on the table in front of you. "This time he had a gun to my head and pulled the trigger." Everyone's attitudes changed.

"Guys I'm fine." You smiled the best you could.

"Your gonna say that after having a nightmare." Derek said.

"Of those with PTSD, 71% to 96% may have nightmares. People who have other mental health problems, such as panic disorder, as well as PTSD are more likely to have nightmares than those with PTSD alone. Not only are trauma survivors more likely to have nightmares, those who do may have them quite often." The facts spewed out.

"She's right." Spencer confirmed. Everyone nodded and went back to what they were doing. You turn your head to see Aaron eyes haven't felt you.

"I'm fine." You touch his legs as reassurance.

"How long have you been having nightmares?"

"The day we got home from the hospital, that night I woke up sweating."

"Why did you tell me?" His eyes were soft.

"Cause I only had 2, it wasn't anything major." You weren't lying this had been your 3rd nightmare, so you haven't thought anything of it. "When I woke up you were there and I knew I was safe."

"Is that why you would lay on top of me?" He cracked a small smile.

"That and you keep me warm." You smiled. "I'm sorry for not telling you." He grasped the hand that was on his leg.

"It's ok." Everything in you wanted to put your head in his shoulder but you couldn't.

Emily muttered something staying awake because they were going to be landing soon. Before you had a chance to get up and get coffee you heard a familiar voice.

"Hey, my loves." Penelope said from the computer. She looked as tired as you felt.

"Hey Babygirl, how you feelin?" Derek asked.

"Good, aside from my very large headache." Everyone cracked a small smile.

"Well that's what happens when you want to have 4 shots in an hour." JJ said from behind you.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time." She pushed her glasses further up.

"Well it's sound like you guys had fun ." You said.

"Yeah we did." Penelope smiled. "Wait you were there." Before you had a chance to correct her Emily said something.

"Actually she left early."

"Ok let's not do this again." You looked at Emily.

"Wait why'd you leave?" Penelope had no clue what was going on.

"I'll tell you soon." Your words choice didn't go unnoticed but Emily and Aaron. She was satisfied enough with your answer to continue.

"Is there anything you guys need me to find or did Y/N cover it?" Penelope asked.

"Preliminary background check on the first two victims families. We're just about to land we'll call you from the station." Hotch said and Penelope signed off.

Everyone got off the plane in seconds. It had already been 7 hours since Kyle went missing. Rossi, Derek, Emily and you headed to the families house. When you pull up you see reporters standing on the front law facing Kyles parents.

"I'm glad the took our advise on starting the press conference, but did they have to do it on the crime sense." Rossi said as you all stepped out of the car. You all stood by the car and listened to what the family was saying. After answering some question the detective walked over.

"That was fast." He said and shock your hands.

"We don't have a lot of time. Can you show us around?" Derek asked.

"You should've taken this off property." Rossi said referring back to his first point.

"Yeah, well, the truth is I wanted to do this down at the station. Danny and Sarah didn't want to leave the house, in case Kyle comes back." He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a picture of Kyle.

"Uncle Bill?" Derek took the picture and turned it over.

"Yeah, we're friends and Neighbors. Dan and I grew up around here." He said.

"Yeah well we already knew that." You said it so it was mostly Emily who heard you.

"You know, your involvement in this cases could be a conflict of interest." You and Emily hung back and watched the detectives movements. He was very stiff, considering how close he was to the family it wasn't weird.

"We're going to go speak to the parents." You and Emily walk past he men and into the home. Kyles parents were standing in the living room. You and Emily gave warm smiles as you introduced yourselves.

"Do you mind if we ask a few question?" Emily asked. They nodded in agreement and sat on the couch. "Thank you all for speaking with us. I cannot stress enoughhow much time if of the essence."

"Abductions from the home are rare, and that allows us to narrow down the suspect pool even more." You said and took a seat across from the family.

"What makes them so unusual?" The father asked.

"Abductions typically are about timing and opportunity. A child walks home alone or gets separated at a shopping center, that sort of thing." You answer.

"This is a sophisticated high-risk crime, who ever did this has good social skills. They're high-functioning, and they have a steady job. They wouldn't look out of place to you, and you wouldn't be alarmed if you children were talking to them. So he may be wearing a uniform, like a deliveryman or a mail carrier." Emily explained. "Have you noticed anyone hanging around the neighborhood talking with the children?"

"Nothing come to mind?" The father said, the wife seemed to distraught to answer the question.

Emily offered to take a break, but she went to go lay down. She continued asking the father and brother questions. You were supposed to be watching body language and tells, but you couldn't think straight. If something happened to Jack you would lose your mind, even though he's not even your kid. But you did care for his as if he was your kid. You were pulled out of your thought when your phone rang. You excused yourself from the room.

"Hello?" You answered.

"Y/N we need you back at the station, Spence is going through list of registered sex offenders in a 30 mile radius of where the boys were taken, we narrowed it down but there's still a lot, Hotch and I are doing the best we can to help but Spencer says you can help make a dent." JJ said. Going through sex offenders lists wasn't something you really wanted to do but it was the job.

"Ok, I'll be there as soon as I can." You hung up and told Emily you had to head back.

Just as you were walking out of the house you saw Rossi getting into the SUV. You run up and quickly jump in. You tell him what was going on as he pulled off. You let your eye watch the tress pass you by. Everything seemed so calm, people walked around like nothing was wrong. To the nothing was wrong, but only if they knew all the horrible things that happened.

"Are you ok?" Rossi asked.

"Yeah, why?" You gave a half smile.

He shrugged and said, "You just seem every distant today."

"Oh, I hate cases that involve kids." Everyone did, it was one of the worst parts of the job. He turned his head slightly to read your face.

"Your thinking about Jack aren't you." How the hell did he know that. Do you admit or act like it was something else? There was no point it lying to Rossi he knew everything.

"Yeah, I can't even begin to imagine what those parents are going through. My heart sinks when I think of something bad happening to Jack and he's not even my kid."

"Y/N, I haven't had the privilege to see you with Jack since and Aaron got together, but from what I've seen in the past I can tell you care for him a lot." He pauses to let his words sink in. "You have the right to get worried." You nod taking in everything he was saying.

"I know, but he has 2 parents that are ready and willing to raise him. But I am fully prepared to be the person he goes to when he can't tell his dad something because Aaron is too scary." You both smile.


	11. They Know

After discovering that Kyle Murphy wasn't kidnapped, it came to light it was just a freak accident. Kyle wet the bed and his brother got so mad and pushed him. Kyle ended up hitting his head and the ladder, he didn't wake up. The parents were protecting a sociopath and didn't know it. The team agreed that since it was so later they were going to get dinner and head to the nearest hotel.

Emily and JJ had found a small Chinese place down the street from a hotel. Everyone sat around a big table. You listen to everyone discussing their views on the cases. Watching Spencer struggle with chopsticks made this whole day better. After laughing at Spencer for having to ask the waitress for a fork your eyes started to get heavy. You put your chopstick down and leaned back in your chair.

"Your that tired?" Emily watched you sink into your chair.

"Not enough coffee in the world can keep me awake right now." You hang your head over the chair.

"Well, you seem well-rested," Derek said, it wasn't towards you but it sound was coming in your direction.

You pick your head up and see Derek was looking at Aaron, who just so happened to be sitting next to you. Your eyes flicker from Derek to Aaron and back.

"What are you talking about?" He asked,

"I'm talking about the fact that you're the only one that stayed behind when we went out. Assuming you stayed at the office very late, shouldn't you be looking more tired then

Y/N?" Derek said as he waved his chopstick around.

You hated to admit it but he had a point. He was able to wake up at any hour and look as though he had been sleeping for 8 hours. Granted he would have at least 3 cups of coffee before leaving the house but still. You watched as Aarons's face fell slightly, not a lot for the team to notice though. You folded your lips together trying not to laugh, you knew exactly where this was going so sat back and watched.

"Ok, and what if I didn't stay?" He argued.

"Assuming you left after we did and estimating the amount of time it would take for you to get to the home that would put it around the time she got the phone call that got her to leave," Spencer spoke up. "Then taking into account how fast it would take her to get to get there and knowing the time she goes to bed-" You cut him off.

"Wait, why do you know the time I go to sleep?" You asked and sat up.

"That's what's concerning you." Aaron gives you a sideways look.

"Well yeah. I don't find it weird that he knows how long it takes me to get home, because I know everyone to get home." You shrugged.

"That is kind of weird, just so you know," Emily said.

"Sorry." You and Spencer said at the same time.

"Well, that's not the point." JJ finally chimed in. You looked around at everyone's face. They were all smiling.

"How long have you guys known?" You rest your hand on Aaron's leg.

"It's only been like 2 weeks," JJ said. "You guys were hugging a little too long when we got you and Emily out of the church.' JJ explained.

"That's when I found out, that's not fair," Emily whined like a 5-year-old.

"You knew?!" JJ swung her head to look at Emily. Emily's eyes widened when she realized what she had said.

"No." She strung out the word. JJ backhanded her arm. "Rossi's known for like months." Emily pointed across the table. JJ's jaw dropped.

"I know a lot of things, I don't want to know them but I do." Rossi threw his hands up and you all laughed.

"We were going to say something, we had a plan and everything, but the time was never right." You tried to explain. Everyone nodded along with understanding, something wasn't right. At that moment everyone had the same reaction.

"Penelope." You threw your face in your hands and felt Aaron put his hand on your back. "She's gonna kill me." Your voice was muffled by your hand but everyone still heard you.

"No, she's not." He rubbed circles on your back, you let your hand hang and look up to him.

"Have you met Penelope?" You asked sarcastically. You let out a nervous laugh.

"Well when we get back home, I say we have a little get-together at Rossi's to tell her," Emily said and everyone looked over at Rossi.

"I won't have it any other way," Rossi said.

~~~~~

When walking into the hotel room you kicked off your shoes and dropped your bag on the floor. Aaron had already taken off his jacket quickly went to remove the tie, his back was to you when you walked up to him.

"This is the first time I don't have to sneak into your room to see you." You walk up to Aaron and wrap your arms around him and smoosh your face into his back.

"Mhm." He slipped the tie over his head. He turned around and cupped your cheeks. He tilted your head up to pull you into a kiss. "What are we gonna do with our new found freedom?" He asked.

"Finally let me take in how warm you are." Your tighten your grip around him.

"It's cause of the layers I have to have on." He gestured to his shirt and his jacket.

"Well if it's worth anything, I think you look really good I them." You slightly bit your lower lip.

"Oh do you?" He asked.

"Mhm. I enjoy them even more now because I know what's under them." You had a huge grin across your face.

He opened his mouth to say something when you released him from your grip. You could feel his eye watch you as you made your way to the bathroom.

As you turned on the hot water you thought about the event that had happened that night. The team knew and it felt good. No more hiding. Even though they found out the way you didn't want them to, it was still good they knew. They all seemed happy for you two. Well almost all of them.

~~~~~

The next morning you woke up to an empty bed. You rub your eyes and sit up fo see the door of the bathroom cracked open. You could here the shower running. You swing your legs off the bed and follow the steam into the bathroom.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" You said.

"Well good morning." Aaron said through the shower curtain.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" You repeated.

"Because we're not leaving till later, and you were awake for 20 hours after only getting 4 hours of sleep." He poked his head out from the shower.

"Well so did you." That was the best you could come up with.

"Well I'm used to it, by the looks of it...you aren't." He shut off the water. When he came out he wrapped a towel around his lower half. You glared at him as he walked over to you.

When he reached you he kissed your forehead. "Get ready so we can go home." He walked out and closed the door.

You put in minimal effort to getting ready. After having this case everyone had a day off, that day would be used for Rossi house party. He had sent out a formal message to everyone with the time and dress code, semi-formal of course.

"Well you look a lot better." JJ said once you stepped out of your room.

"Thanks." You laughed and walked with her and Emily to the elevator.

"You and boss man have another long night?" Derek asked as he walked up. He point to you hair and glasses.

Today you hair was more put together, it covered the marks on your neck so you didn't have to wear the stupid scarf. You still had your glass, it was easier then putting contacts in. From that moment on you told yourself to where them more.

As for the rest of you outfit it was a long-sleeve shirt and black slacks and your boots. Normal for the most part.

"No just didn't feel like putting effort in today." You tell him and hear footsteps behind you. You turn and see it was the rest of the guys. Aaron is standing directly behind you. You quickly look at him up and down before turn back to Derek.

He had a smirk on his face, he watched the whole action. You roll your eyes and look straight forward. Everyone sat in silence. You laugh to yourself. The elevator dinged and you all step it. All that was heard was the shuffle of cloths and bags.

"Ok you guys need to say something." You said. You stood in the corner and watched as the all face you.

"What do you want us to say?" JJ asked.

"Literally anything."

"Well all the stuff I wanna ask will have to wait until he's not here." JJ nodded her head to Aaron who was now standing in front of you. You fight back a smile and nodded along.

Aaron was only going to talk to Rossi and that was common knowledge. That left you with everyone else. Except you didn't think Spencer cared for the details on your relationship. Then Morgan didn't want the explicit details.

It was just the girls, that you could handle. You were mostly close with Emily and Derek, but you loved everyone. Derek was then person you could talk about anything with. But when you first joined the team you and Emily hit it off really well. Ever since then they were your people. Now you have Aaron in the mix, it was awesome.

You all had decided it would only make sense to have Emily, JJ, Derek and you in one car. You sat in the back with JJ as Derek drove.

JJ went on and on about how she had put it together. For not being a profiler she noticed a lot of small details. Like how you and Aaron would subconsciously look up and each other to make sure the other was ok.

"He watched you like a hawk when you were in the hospital." She said.

"That was nothing compared to how he was when we got home. At least at the hospital he let me move at my own free will." The last part you said mostly to yourself.

"You seem very happy." JJ said and put her hand on yours.

"I am." You had a wide smile.

Derek stopped the car in front of the jet. Emily haven't really said anything when you all sat down. She hadn't said anything the whole car ride. She just watched as you talk endless about your boyfriend.

Halfway through the flight you had changed to a different topic. You and Emily listened as Derek and JJ talked about past cases. That somehow lead into the amount of time Derek had gotten hurt.

The conversation came to a stop when there was a very loud snore come from the front of the plane. You look out into the aisle and see Aaron fast asleep with an open file in front of him.

"Able to stay up with 4 hours of sleep my ass." You said and heard them laugh.

"Does he normally sore that loud?" Derek asked.

"Not really." You stood and walked over to him.

The problem became clear when you got closer. His head was hanging on top of his shoulder. You had noticed his head wasn't up right he snore. The more it hung the louder it got.

You touch your finger to his temple and push his head up right. Once his head was on the back of the seat the snoring stopped. You smiled at the work you had done and moved back to your seat.As you sat down you saw the surprise look and JJ and Dereks face.

"What?" You asked.

"How did you know to do that?" JJ asked.

"Oh come on, you can't tell me you don't know how to stop Will from snoring."

"I don't. I roll him over but it doesn't stop."

"Oh." You thought it was just something people knew how to do. You looked to Emily for conformation.

"I don't have a boyfriend, so I wouldn't know." You all look to Derek.

"Savannah doesn't snore." He said. You let out a breath.

"Well, I've slept next to him enough times to know." You shrugged.

"It's cute." Emily said. She could see how tense you had gotten. You let your shoulder slump.

~~~~~

It was barely noon when the plane touched down. You had spent the other half of your day with Aaron and Jack. You had gone to the park and went for ice cream.

The day seemed like it by too fast, cause next thing your getting ready to go to Rossi's.

You had pulled out one of your old cocktail dresses from the back of your closet. It was a dark shade of red and still fit like a glove.

"Oh your killing me." Aaron stood behind you. He wrapped his arms around you. You put in your arms on top of his. You learned forward as best as you could so you could finish putting on your lipstick.

"You'll be ok." You looked at him in the mirror.

"You look amazing." He dipped his head down and placed a kiss on you neck.

"You don't look half back yourself."

You tilt your head so he had more room. He pulls you closer to him. You haven't realized how tall he was until you hand to extend you arm to reach the back of his neck.

You turn around so his lips meet yours. He stepped forward so you were pinned to the counter. You let out a soft moan when counter comes into contact. He moved to lift you onto the surface. Before he had a chance you push him off.

"I already have to fix my lipstick, let's stop before I have to change my dress." You raised an eyes brow.

"Ok." He smiled and kissed you one more time before walking out. Turning to face the mirror you saw that you lipstick hadn't smudged a lot.

When you walk out to the living you room both Aaron and Jack are watch TV. They were wearing matching button ups.

"You guys look very handsome." You said. Jack eyes didn't leave the TV which was expected. Aaron stood for the couch and walked over to you. You smiled and he kissed you again.

"You ready to go buddy?" He turned to Jack. Jack laughed a the TV. Aaron walked over and turned it off, Jack look disappointing at his father action. You move to put you heels on.

~~~~~

As you pulled up to Rossi house, sorry mansion. Everyone car was there. Evening including Penelope. She would never turn down family time. You could feel yourself start to but the inside of your lip.

"Are you ok?" Aaron asked.

"My heart beats are getting faster and I don't know why." You looked out the window.

"Your nervous." He said. You exhale trying to relax yourself. He watches you for another minute.

The walk to the front door felt so long. Before you had a chance to knock Rossi opened the door.

"Welcome!" He throws his arms around you.

"Hello to you too." You walk further into the house. You watch has Jack runs past you go Henry. Everyone was scattered in the living room and the kitchen.

Derek had pulled Will away to have some conversation about sorts. The girls had stolen Savannah from Derek. They spotted you and waved you over. You walked over and sat next to Emily.

"You look very lovely tonight." Penelope said and you gave her a nice smile.

JJ and Emily looked over at you wondering with you were gonna drop the bomb. You and Aaron had talked about it on the car ride there. Before dinner, after Rossi makes his toast. You were going to say what you had planned to say. Hopefully.

You haven't really been paying attention to the conversation they were having. Something about Penelope finding a new guy. You feel a cold glass tap your arm. You look at see it was Rossi handing you a wine glass.

"Aaron asked me to bring this to you, and there's more if you need it." He whispered to you.

"Thank you." You took the glass from his hand. You look up and see Aaron was watching. You wink at him and a smirk creeps up. You try not to smile as you listen back into the conversation.

"He wasn't a good guy anyway." Emily said. Penelope nodded along visibly hurt.

"Ok I'm gonna say something you not gonna like it, your gonna be mad no one told you but it needs to be said." Emily and JJ exchanged glances. "No one really liked him, we wanted to see you happy so we dealt with it." You said bluntly. Emily and JJ bodies relaxed. Penelope expression haven't changed.

"Well maybe if you said something, I wouldn't have to go through this." She was right and you all knew it. You guys were supposed to protect each other.

"The only person you would've listened to was Derek, and he didn't have the heart to say it." JJ said.

In response she threw back the rest of her drink. Maybe her being tipsy could make tonight easier. You reached out for her glass silently offering to refill it. You took hers and Emily back the kitchen.

"You drink scotch now?" Derek walked up to you.

"It's for Emily." You laughed.

"That's makes sense." He paused. "It's the gay in her." You stopped in your tracks.

"You did not just say that."

"Yes I did."

"I thought I was the only one who knew." You whispered.

"Come on Sugar, I've been Emily partner for 4 years now. Of course I know." He smiled big.

"How'd you find out?" You asked.

"She never talked about a guy." He stepped a little closer so only you could hear. "And she seems to take special interest in JJ when she's wearing her black dress."

"She sure does."

"How'd your find out?" He asked.

"She called me one very late night, I didn't answer but when I woke up there was a voicemail from her saying how JJ was the one she always wanted. The next day I asked her about it and she explained." You poured Penelope's drink.

"She also told me that she hated seeing her and Will together but as long as JJ's happy, she's happy." You finished.

"We need to set her up." Derek said.

"I've tried, but maybe you can." You walked passed him back to the girls.

They were still talking about Kevin and the things they didn't like. Before you had a chance to point out the things you didn't like Rossi said it was time to eat. Fuck.

You all sat at a very large round table. There was pasta and bread scattered across the table. You spot Aaron on the other side. You move past everyone to find a seat next to him.

"You ready?" He asked and ran his hand up and down your leg. You nod.

Rossi stood from the other side of Aaron. "I just wanted to say thank you all for coming even though to was a last minute invitation."

"Who could say no to a home-cooked meal?" Derek asked.

"Only the crazy." Everyone laughed. "But there is a reason we are all gathered here today." Rossi looked over to you and you stood.

"I have an announcement, well most of you already know-"

"Are you pregnant?" Penelope interrupted.

"No no no no." You lost your train of thought. But soon regain it when Aaron hand was in your lower back. Give you that extra push you needed. "It not very significant anymore because most of you already know but... Aaron and I have been in a relationship for 6 months."

If Penelope were a cartoon her eyes would've popped out of her head. Will and Savannah didn't have the same expression as Penelope but were still happy.

"Oh my god! Yay!" Penelope got up from her seat and hugged you. Everyone soon follow recongratulating the two of you.

It felt like so much pressure had been lifted from your shoulders. Everything was just the way it was supposed to be.


	12. Girl Night Out...Kinda

All the girls agreed it was time for Penelope to find someone else. Penelope couldn't say no to a drink.

It was Friday night, so it was ok to get very drunk and not have to deal with work.

"I thought the plan was to get drunk," Emily said. The four of you sat at a table.

"What makes you think that's not gonna happen?" JJ said.

"Y/N's babying one drink." You look at the cup in front of you. It didn't even look like you had taken a sip. You roll your eyes and take a big gulp.

"Happy?" You said and looked up at Emily.

"Finish it then I'll be happy." You swallow the rest of the drink. Penelope and Emily cheer when you set the glass down.All your insides got warm.

"This is just the beginning," Penelope said and handed you a small glass.

Shots weren't your thing but it didn't look like you had much of a choice. The sound of clinking glasses filled the air. You slammed the empty glass down.

"So you can hold your liquor better than I thought," Emily commented at your lack of facial expression.

"You've drunk with me before don't be surprised." You said and pushed the small glass away from you.

"Ok now that you're all loose, let's go dance." Emily held out her hand. You were hesitant but grabbed it anyway.

When entering the dance floor Emily soon found another girl to dance with and left you by yourself. JJ and Garcia came to dance with you.Going out with the girl was more fun than you would like to admit.

JJ and you were doing your own thing when Penelope had drifted off. When you look up she was dancing with a fairly attractive guy. She seemed to be having a good time. When you go to look back at JJ she wasn't there. Another guy was standing in front of you.

He was very tall and kind of good looking.You didn't think anything of it so you kept dancing. It started to become a thing when he ran his hand down your arm. His hand trailed to your lower back and your ass.

"Watch your hand buddy." You weren't laughing so he took his hand away from your ass.

Your comment didn't stop him from getting as close as humanly possible to you. Someone had bumped into his back which caused him to knock you to the wall.

His hand went to the wall above your head. You tried to push your way passed but he wouldn't give. He leaned forward to try and kiss you. You turn your head and tried to push him with your shoulder. He takes your resistance as a challenge and grabs your shoulder.

You move your foot to kick him where it counts. Before you had the chance to swing Emily came up and grabbed his arm.

"What do you think you're doing?" She twisted his arm. He yelped and took his arms back.

"Crazy bitch." He said and looked back at you before walking away.

"Yeah well, the crazy bitch has friends," Emily shouted over the music.

"Are you ok?" She asked lightly. You nodded and walked back to the table.

JJ and Penelope had been guarding the new drinks. When you throw back the new drink it burns as it goes down your throat.

"I hate boys." You mumbled not thinking anyone could hear you.

"You have a boyfriend," JJ said.

"Aaron Hotchner is not a boy, far from it." You earned a laugh from them.

"Speaking of boss man, how are you guys?" Penelope asked.

"Good." You answered and looked down at the glass.

"Uh-oh." Emily scanned your face.

"No un-oh." You said.

"What's wrong then?"JJ asked.

"Nothing." You paused and watched their faces. None of them believed you. "I told my mom we were together and she was very happy for us. She called yesterday asking us to come and visit."

"Oooh meeting the parents already," JJ said.

"He's already met her just not as my boyfriend, and I understand that she wants to meet him again. What I don't appreciate is that she let it slip to my grandma." They all tighten their jaws.

"Are they like bad news?" Penelope asked.

"No, they're great. My grandpa is like a big teddy bear. He is the one that got me into crossword puzzles, he's the only consistent male figure I've had in my life. My grandmother, on the other hand, she's ruthless. She was embarrassed that my mom got pregnant with me at a young age." You shrugged not knowing what else to say.

"Are you guys gonna go?" JJ asked.

"There no other way around it so I guess so." You shrugged. "Ok enough of me ruining moods, that guy you were dancing with was cute." You turned your attention to Penelope.

"I know." She has a big smile.

She reached into her pocket and pull out a piece of paper. She showed you guys and it was a phone number. 

"His name is Sam," Penelope said. You nodded in approval.

"He was good looking for the little part that I saw," Emily said.

"Yeah cause you were dancing with some girl." You said loud enough just for Emily to hear. She gave you a disapproving look.

"You love me." You gave her shoulder a shove.

"Yeah, I do."

An hour and a shot later JJ and Penelope went back to dance. Emily's eyes never left JJ, you hadn't commented on the fact that Derek knew about it too.

"Are you ever going to say anything to her?" You asked lightly.

"Probably not."

There was nothing else to say to that. JJ had Will and Henry and Emily knew that.

"Ok enough with the feeling crap," Emily said. She stood up and left. When she came back she had a shot glass with a dark liquid.

"What the hell is that?" You asked.

"Just drink it." She handed it to you. You examined the drink. "It's not poisoning you'll be fine." You rolled your eyes and drank.

That didn't feel right. It burns a little too much when going down and it didn't sit well with everything else in your stomach.

"I thought you could hold your stuff," Emily said.

"I can. That just-" You put your hand over your mouth to keep from throwing up. "Was the Dark Tequila?" You asked and she slowly nodded.

"Dark Tequila and I aren't on good terms."

You feel yourself starting to gag. You run to the bathroom and find an open stall. Emily rubs your back as you empty your stomach. You hear the click of Penelope's heels and JJ's boots walk in. You clear your throat and stand up straight.

"What happened?" JJ asked.

"Emily tried to kill me." You joke and walk over to the sink to wash your mouth.

"I didn't mean to." She defended herself.

"I know." You rubbed her arm so she didn't feel so bad.

"Are you ok?" Penelope asked.

"Everything is still spinning, but I'll be ok." You rested your hand on the counter to stable yourself.

"I'm gonna tell Hotch to come and get you," JJ said and pulled out her phone.

"No Jay, I'm fine besides he's probably sleeping." You had no idea what time it was but it was late.

"Oh well." JJ held her phone to her ear.

"Hey, Hotch sorry to call so late but Y/N is drunk and ended up getting sick-"

"I'm not drunk!" You yelled loud enough for him to hear.

"Well, you did get sick." She said to you. You rolled your eyes. You assumed he was saying something because JJ was silent.

"He wants to talk to you." JJ handed you her phone.

"Hello." You answered.

"What happened?" He asked.

"Emily gave me Dark Tequila, and I threw up fast than the last time." The last time it took you almost 10 minutes to start feeling sick.

"Aw babe. Do you want me to come and get you?" He was soft.

"No stay home I'm fine."

"She can't stand by herself!" JJ shouted. You leaned forward and slapped her shoulder.

"Y/N?" His voice came through.

"Ok, am I leaning on a bathroom counter...yes but-"

"No buts, I'm on my way."

"Fine." You huffed out. After hanging up you gave JJ back her phone. "He'll be here in 10 minutes."

"Good, now go get some water," JJ said.

"Yes, mom." You teased as you moved to stand up. You sit on your stool sipping your water with Emily. She kept apologizing for almost killing you.

"Em, it's fine. I feel better already." You move to rub her shoulder when you felt a hand on your back. You sit up straight and turn your attention to the person connected to the hand. It's was Aaron.

"Hi." You smile and look up at him.

"Hi."

"Ew, you guys are cute," Emily said.

"Thanks." You smiled big.

"You ready?" He asked lightly. You nodded and jumped off the stool. The night was still young so the other girl was still gonna party hard.

"So how was the night before getting sick?" He walked over to your side of the car to open the door. You climbed into his truck and waited for him to get in before answering.

"It was fun for the most part." You said.

"For the most part?" He started pulling out of the parking lot.

"This guy got a little too touchy-feely but Emily way there so."

"I'm sorry." He took your hand.

"It's not your fault, I was gonna kick him but Emily beat me to it. " He laughed and drive the rest of the way to his house.

He opened the door and without missing a beat you threw yourself on the couch. You let out a groan and reach for a pillow. He takes off his shoes and sits next to you.

"I never drinking with Emily again." You put your head on his shoulder.

"Yes, you will." He pulls you closer. You look up and place a kiss on his cheek before taking a shower.

You let the hot water run down your back and steam up the windows. You rub your eyes when you heard the door open.

"Is there something I can do for you?" You asked him as he's stepped into the shower with you.

"I feel like I haven't seen you all day." He cupped your cheeks kissed you lightly.

"Well, you looked up in your office all day. I only get to see you through the window."

You smiled, reaching up and wrapping your hands around his neck. He smirked, trailing his lips down your face and neck.

"Fuck me please." You begged as his hands ran over your thighs.

"Gladly."

He hitched your leg up over around his waist, rubbing his member through your folds briefly before shoving into you. You cried out in surprise, nails digging into his shoulder as you adjusted to his size.

You let out a shaky breath as he dragged his cock almost out of you, then pressed back in.

You could only whimper in response as he fucked you slowly, nipping at your skin.

"H-harder baby. Please." You begged in his ear, making him smile and pick up his pace.

He felt you tighten around him. He growled and pulled your other leg around him, causing him to hit a new spot within you. Stars danced behind your eyes.

"Cum for me, Princess."

You let out a long, loud moan as you climaxed. The pressure got to be much for Aaron and he pressed in as deep as he could, groaning and cumming inside you.

"Fuck," you whispered after a silent moment.

Your legs shook slightly as he let you down and pulled you directly under the warm water.

You leaned into him as he squeezed a small amount of soap onto a rag and began to run it over your skin.

"That was incredibly dangerous." You said still facing him.

"What was?"

"Shower sex. It's good in theory but you could've slipped." You spewed out

"Well, I didn't hear you complaining." He leaned down and kissed your neck.

"No, I was not." You hold his lower after as close as you could.


	13. Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is everywhere but it’s going somewhere I promise.

It's been about a few weeks since Haley died and everything has been crazy. Aaron was a mess but Jack had no idea what was going on. It was a good thing that he was so young. Aaron had tried his best to keep his cool. You tried to be there for him the best you could. But you were mostly taking care of Jack as he got his work done.

Jack seemed to be doing good. He had missed his mom a lot which is understandable. Every day before putting him to bed you would light a candle so he could talk to her.

You gave the team constant updates on how they were doing. Derek had taken over the team. You hated to admit it but he was doing a good job. No one would say that as not to feed his ego.

Somehow you had been convicting Aaron to come home at a reasonable hour. Well, whenever you left instead of staying an extra 2 hours like he normally does.

It was nice having him home, even though Aaron didn't enjoy it as much.

~~~~~

Walking into the he BAU was quiet. It wasn't normal. Things normally are at a fast pace paper flying around, the smell of coffee fills the air. Well the smell of coffee is stuck to all the walls. When you make it to your desk the phone starts ringing. You look over and see it was JJ office number.

"Jay?" You asked picking up the phone.

"Can you come to my office?" She asked.

"Yeah gimme a second I just got here." Her voice was professional.

She wasn't going to talk to you about something that was happening with Will. It was work.

You take off your jacket and put it on the back of your chair. You get everything situated then walked out of the bullpen and down the hall. You pop your head into her office and she's hold a manila folder.

"What's going on?" You walked in.

"Strauss came into my office this morning and gave these to me." She held up a file. "She gave them to me because you weren't here yet. You know me, I'm nosy." You smiled cause she was nosy, not Penelope nosy but nosy enough. "It's an application to be apart of the bored." She finally got to the point. "Are you planning on leavening us?"

"No." You moved to sit in the chair across from her.

"Cause if you are, you picked the worst time to do it-" She said either ignoring what you had said or she just didn't hear you.

"JJ I'm not leaving." You said more sternly. You could see her body physically relax.

"Last year Strauss came to me with the same papers, but I thought she was joking. I realized she wasn't when she called me asking if I filled them out. I knew I wasn't going to get that's why I didn't say anything. It was just to make her look good." You explained.

"Make her look good?"

"She apparently knew some of my professors, they talked to her about me and next thing I know she's calling me wanting to know if I ever wanted to work for the FBI. Of course I wanted to work for the FBI. She said she gave my file to the chief of the BAU. I didn't hear from her for a while. Then I got a call from one Agent Aaron Hotchner wanting an interview with me. A week later I started here. Hotch was impressed by my thinking, I'm guessing he didnt look at my file close enough." You tried to make a joke but JJ wasn't having it. "She sees it as she brought me here and every move I make is on her."

"Are you going to apply again?" Was all she asked.

"I don't think I have a choice." It was an honest answer. Strauss was gonna be on your ass about it. "They probably won't accept me cause nothings changed, just my age and the time with the BAU." You shrugged taking the file from JJs desk.

"Your doctorate." JJ said. 

"What about it?" You didn't see a significance to it.

"Wouldn't that have some pull?"

"Possibly but it's in mathematics, I don't see how it could play into anything." You had actually forgotten that you had a doctorate. The expression on her face was more worried.

"Look Jay, the only reason I'm going to fill out these papers is because Strauss wants me too." She accepted you answer.

You gave her a reassuring smile and walked back to your desk. You toss them on your desk. You hesitate when opening the file. It was routine questions.

You half assed checking the boxes and writing shitty answers. You weren't going to focus if the papers just sat there. So you finished and went up to the 8th floor to give it to Strauss.

You walk to Strauss office and she was standing at her desk. You knock and she turns around.

"Agent Y/L what brings you here?" She asked. You stuck your arm out to give her the file.

"I thought I would get theses to you before you start calling me."

"Good." She took the file from you and skimmed it.

"Everything looks good." She closed the file and looked at you. You hadn't moved. "Is there something else?" She asked.

"Why me?" You asked. It was an actual question you had and couldn't seem to find the answer. "There are so many other Agents that are so much more qualified for this position. So why me?"

"Have you seen your resume? You finished college with your first PhD when you were 18. You got your second and third and you were barley 22. You just got your doctorate and your 26. You've worked with the bureau for a while now. And in such little time you've been in the BAU, Agent Hotchner has spoken very highly of you, so has everyone else on your team. So if the other members see it the way I do, I believe I'll be seeing you on the board in April." You nod.

"Good to see you ma'am." You turn around and walked out.

~~~~~

The rest of the went very slowly. Paper work for 9 hours was an ideal slow day. After wiring all day the morning events had left your mind completely.

Once you sign off the last paper you collect the files and walk to Derek new off. His desk was covered with pictures of his family and a few of Penelope. You drop the files in the bin.

"Great more." He groans as a grin spreads across your face.

"You don't have to keep doing it you know." You commented and sat in the chair across from him.

"I know, I just don't wanna overwhelm Hotch. It's the last thing he needs." Derek sat back in his chair.

"Trust me, he'd do anything to not come home with me at 5 o'clock everyday."

"He'a not happy to go home?"

"He puts on a happy face. Of course he loves spending more time with Jack. Who wouldn't?" You smiled at the thought of the little boy. "He just feels useless."

"We all feel useless right now."

"Fair point." You stood up to walk out.

"Whenever Hotch wants his job back he can have it!" He yelled to you.

"I'll make sure to tell him!" You yelled back.

Walking backing it the bullpen you see Aaron already standing at your desk. 

"So I don't have to pull you out today?" You asked as you go closer.

"No." He placed his hand on hand on your lower back as you grabbed your stuff.

You wanted to kiss him so bad but you had both agreed to no PDA. When you were in his office however...that's a different story.

~~~~~

You lay in bed flipping through Tv channels

"There's nothing good on." You turn to your side to face Aaron who was coming out of the shower.

"Didn't you start a book this morning?" He asked.

"Yeah I finished it when we got to work." You said like it was nothing.

"Of course you did." He pushes you hair back and kisses your forehead.

He climb into bed with you. You take no time to put yourself between his arms. He smells like your strawberry shampoo that was in his bathroom. He was warm from the shower.

Only the sound of the tv was playing. You could stay like that forever only if the world let you.

*Ring Ring*

You groan and dig yourself deeper into his arms.

"It's Emily." He said.

"She can't wait." You muttered into his chest. You try to zone out the sound but it didn't go away.

"It doesn't look like she can wait." He said. You rolled over and grabbed your phone.

"Emily this better be good-"

"Are you at home?" She cut you off.

"Define home." You considered your house and Aaron's house yours home.

"Your house, are you at your house?" She sounded anxious.

"No I'm at Aaron's- what's wrong?"

"Something happened with me and JJ, I don't know what to do." She was freaking out.

"Emily what's going on?"

"Everything just happened so fast-"

"Emily I cant help you if you don't tell me what happened."

"We fucked Y/N, JJ came over she was tipsy and said she didn't want to go home to the boys like that and she asked to stay. Of course I said she could. And you know how she's gets when's she drinks, she's talks a lot. She was saying stuff about how her and Will have been having problems and the only reason she was still with his was because of Henry. She kept talking and I said some things the she kissed me and I didn't stop it then next thing I know she's naked on my bed." She ranted.

"Where is she?" You asked.

"Sleeping on my bed."

"Go lay with her, cause you don't know if your gonna get this again." She nodded along. "When she wakes up just talk to her, that's all you gotta do." You voice was soothing. You could hear her breathing become steady.

"Hello?" She was silent for a little to long.

"Ok." That was all she said.

"Ok, go." You hung up before she could talk her self out of it.

You rolled to your other side to face Aaron again. You could read the confused look on his face from a mile away.

"Is she ok?" He asked.

"She will be." You answer simply. Aaron Hotchner wasn't one to gossip or ever listen to gossip. But he was leaning in like her wanted to know more.

"Ok I tell you this as your girlfriend so you can't tell anyone else." He nodded along. You moved you have your back against the head board.

You took the time to explain what has been going on with Emily. He seemed genuinely shocked at what you had told him. As the boss of a profiling team you would think he would be better at reading people.

~~~~~

Your eyes shot open to the pitch black room. There would be sometimes where you would wake up in the middle of the night. Nothing would be wrong, not a bad dream, not being to hot. You would just wake up. Tonight was one of those nights.

You roll over to find your phone. The bright light hits your face. 2:48am. You groan and roll back over to Aaron. You once had called his sleep boring because he sleeps on his back with his arm either one his side or his stomach.

This wasn't anything different. He's on his back with one hand on his side and the other on his stomach. You pull the blanket to you face and snuggled closer to take him all his warmth.

Before you had the chance to wrap yourself around him he starts to squirm.

"No." He mumbled in his sleep.

"Stop." The only reason he could be talking in his sleep was because he was dreaming.

The muscles in his arm tighten. You look down and saw that his fists were clenched. He was having a nightmare. You grab his shoulders and lightly shake him.

"Hey." You whisper. He didn't move. You shake him a little harder and his eyes shot open. He start breathing heavily as he looks to you.

"Hey." You repeated when you see tears roll down his face. You pull his head to your chest. He wraps his arm tightly around you.

"It's ok." You run your fingers through his hair trying to soothe him as much as possible.

This wasn't the first nightmare he had since Haley died. The first few time he didn't wanna talk about it and you let him be, he realized it was too much for him to handle on his own and eventually told you.

"You wanna talk about it?" You asked gently. He poked his head out.

"It wasn't Haley." That was all he sad.

"What do you mean it wasn't Haley?"

"She wasn't the one who died...you were." He pauses. "When I found you, Foyet was as standing over you. When I look over I saw he put a built through your head." Hearing this was terrifying, but it was worse for him because he actually saw it.

"I just couldn't get to you fast enough." He was starting to break down and you could hear it in his voice.

"I'm here, I'm alive and I'm not going anywhere."

You repeated yourself and playedwith his hair until you knew he was alseep. He breathing was steady and his was limp. He looked so peaceful sleeping.

You convinced yourself he was going to wake up again when his breathing got heavier. He was out cold.


	14. Friday Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is like a couple of weeks later. This chapter is based on Gilmore Girls of you know what that is. If not that’s ok, but you should watch it it’s a good show.

Friday, March 16th, 6:00 pm sharp.

The instructions your grandmother had given you. Friday dinner was something that hadn't happened in a very long time. You tried to avoid seeing your grandmother at all costs because for some reason she loves to control your life.

Aaron was excited to meet your family but you weren't too thrilled. He and your mom got along very well. If your mom liked him then your grandpa would too.

"You ready?" He asked you. You had been sitting in the driveway for 5 minutes.

"My mom's not here yet." You looked for your phone. You had moved everything around in your purse. Aaron waved it across your face. You quickly snatch it back to call your mom.

"Where are you?" You asked

"I'm gonna be late." Your mom said.

"You're always late."

"I'm sorry hon, but you know I can't get Cindy to shut up." She sounded like she was rushing to her car. Cindy had been one of your mom's co-workers for as long as you could remember.

You sigh loudly. "Just hurry, please." You begged.

"I am." She hung up.

"Gonna be late?" Aaron questioned. You looked up at him and nodded. "It'll be ok, we should probably go in though."

"I know." You pushed up your glass and fixed your hair. You walked up to the front door.

"I don't wanna push it." You stared at the doorbell.

Aaron leaned over your and pushed the doorbell. Within a second the door swung open. It was your grandma.

"Y/N!" She held her arms out to hug you. You hesitantly move in to hug her.

"Hi, grandma." You grumble out as she pulls you inside.

"It's been so long since I've seen you." She cubbed your face.

"It couldn't have been that long ago." You knew the exact day you last saw her. 7 months 2 weeks and 6 days. You didn't see a problem with that amount of time.

"So who's your friend." She peered to Aaron who was behind you.

"Grandma this Aaron Hotchner, Aaron my grandmother Emily Y/L." He reaches out to shake her hand.

They exchange their hellos and you slowly start to move further into the house. You couldn't remember much from this house. It was kind of the size of Rossi's house, maybe a little smaller.

You didn't talk about how much money your family had. It was enough to keep up with your grandmas' lifestyle though. Your grandpa didn't complain, as long as she was happy things were all good in the world.

"Hey, where's grandpa?" You asked.

"He's in his office finishing some work but he should be out soon." You looked in the direction of his office. "I'm gonna fix some drink, how about you give Aaron a tour." Your grandma yelled. You looked to Aaron who was already walking up to you.

He took your hand as you led him up the stairs. The hallway was bigger than you had remembered.

"Do you have a room here?" He asked.

"Kind of, it was my mom's old room I would stay here sometimes." You open the door to the room. There were stuffed animals on the bed and pink stuff everywhere.

"Pink?" He asked and pointed at the wall.

"I didn't decorate it." You walked in and sat on the bed. 

"It seems cozy here." He sat down next to you.

"Nothing feels cozy it's just that it seems familiar to our brain so we think it's a good thing when in reality it-" He kissed you.

"Are you trying to get me to shut up?" You pulled back.

"Yes." He hummed and kissed you again.

You let yourself melt into the kiss. Like you have kissed him in forever. You let out a slight moan as he brings you closer to him. You cup his cheeks and let your other arm falcon his shoulder.

You let him go when you hear your mom yell for you downstairs.

"That's our cue." You stand and reach out your hand for him to grab it.

You walk ahead of him downstairs to see your grandparents and mom standing in wait.

"Do I wanna know why you two were upstairs alone?" Your mom jokes. You roll your eyes and move past her to your grandpa.

"It's been too long." He whispers to you.

"I know, I'm sorry." You whispered back. 

He and Aaron were the same height so you left very small. You move out of the way forgetting Aaron was behind you. He introduces himself to your grandfather.

"It's gonna be ok." Your mom whispers to you.

"Have you met your mother?" You ask sarcastically, but she took a minute to think about it.

"Yeah, your screwed." You laugh to yourself.

Your grandmother instructed everyone to sit in the living room. You sat in between your mom and Aaron on the big couch. You knew your grandma wouldn't appreciate it if you threw back her expensive wine. So you sip at it like the nice girl you were supposed to be.

"Did you read that article about the regenerative medicine that I sent?" Your grandpa asks.

"Yeah I read it this morning, I wouldn't think they would be able to regenerate the cells from the-"

"What exactly do you do with Y/N." Your grandma cut you off. 

"I'm the Unit Chief of the BAU," Aaron responded.

"So you're her boss?" She questioned.

"I am, but I don't put myself above the rest of the team." He was right and you knew that but there was no way in hell she would believe that. Just as you thought your grandma snorted and took a sip of her drink.

You rolled your eyes hard and took a bigger sip of your drink. There was no way in hell you were sober enough for this night.

"How's it been hunting crazy people?" Your mom asked you.

"As good as it possibly can be." You answered simply.

"I don't like that you put yourself in danger like that." Your grandma said.

"Oh, Emily come on, just because you wouldn't do it doesn't mean other people won't." Your grandpa defended you.

"Richard it's not safe."

"I'm alive aren't I?" You mumbled and put the wine on the table in front of you.

"You are, but one day you might not be." Your grandma said.

"She's right." Aaron was the last person you would've thought to agree with your grandmother. A shocked look spread across your face as you look up at him.

"I'm always worried when I don't hear from you." Your mom chimed in.

You looked between the four of them and they all shared the same look. Yeah, you worried too. The job was dangerous but you knew that before joining the team.

"I take every precaution I can, you make sure of that." You look at Aaron.

"Sometimes every precaution isn't good enough." Your grandma said.

"Like when we were in Nevada, you had your vest on and your earpiece in but you still got shot-"

"Shh." You waved him off before he could say anything else.

"You were shot!" Your grandma was yelling now.

"Sorry," Aaron said half-heartedly.

"It's fine." You put your hand on his leg for reassurance. "Yeah, I got shot. I'm fine now."

You tried to make it seem less than it was. Not mentioning all of the other times you were shot and had to have surgery. Not mentioning getting beaten half to death. Not to mention all the times you came face to face with an unsub. They didn't need to know about all that.

Before your grandma could make another comment on your life dinner was done. The dining room had looked the same. You sat down next to Aaron. There was a small salad sitting in front of you. You had forgotten your grandma had courses. Salad, sometimes soup, Entree, Dessert. You guys could be there for hours.

Much to your grandmas’ surprise, Aaron had the whole napkin in lap routine down. She kept giving the two of you side looks. You were extremely comfortable around him. She didn't like that so much.

"So how long have you two been together." She asked and didn't look up from her plate.

"7 months." You turn your head to look at him. He was smiling. A rare sight even though you with him all the time.

"And I'm just hearing about you now, good to know I'm being kept in the loop." You do your best to hold back any smart ass remarks you could've made.

When your mom had informed you that she had slipped up and told your grandparents, you took the time to call your grandpa to explain. He understood why you haven't said much. He was well aware of how ruthless your grandma could be. You had given him props for dealing with her for 40 years.

"Emily leave the poor girl alone."

"Yeah, Emily." Your mom mocked your grandpas' deep voice. Aaron laughed at your mother's ways.

"Grandma looks, all relationships have to start somewhere. There was a time 40 odd years ago when you and grandpa had only been together for 7 months." You said.

"Yes and then we got married." You groan and threw your head in your hands.

"That's not how it goes these days."

"If you lived with me like I had suggested-" You just her off.

"Well I didn't and I am so grateful for that, because who knows what you would've done with my life. I wouldn't have gone to the FBI, I would have met Aaron, I wouldn't be as happy as I am now." There is now some fact cooked bird sitting in front of you

"You could've been happy living with me. You could've been married and have kids by now."

"So just because I'm not married and don't have kids means I'm not happy?"

"You could be happier." She said. You wanted to leave. Go back home where this conversation doesn't have to happen. "It hard

to imagine that you could be happy with the men you choose."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" You were trying to not yell.

"You always seem to go after older men. I don't know what good you see in them." That was low. Out of all the things she could've said, that was low.

"You can pick apart my life, judge my choices and my job but you will not discredit the people I love."

Only the sound like forks hitting plates was heard. Everyone was too scared to speak. In fear, they might piss you off again.

After dinner was done your grandfather offered you some books he had been meaning to send you. Eagerly you follow him to his office.

"I just wanted to apologize for your grandmothers' behavior." He said once you guys were alone.

"It's ok. I just thought we're gonna get through half of the dinner before she said something about him." You shrugged.

"From what you've told me over the phone, you seem very happy."

"I am." You smiled.

"And his son?" You were taken back.

"I never told you he had a son." You watched as he walked to his bookshelf.

"I have my ways." He turned back with books in hand.

"What kinda ways." You took them from his hands.

"I never reveal my sources."

"A true writer." You both laugh.

As you walk out of his office Aaron and your mom are standing in the hall. Your grandma was nowhere to be found.

"Scared her away for now." You said.

"You know she doesn't know how to handle getting yelled at." Your mom said.

"That's what she gets for trying to talk shit about my boyfriend."

"I've had people talk shit about me before," Aaron said.

"I know, I wasn't gonna let her do it."

"Well, I say we go out for lunch tomorrow without the..." Your mom put a finger of her head to mimic the devil.

"I second that," Aaron said.

"Just give me a call and I'll be there." Your grandpa gave you a side hug before you all left.

You put all the books in the back seat. You hurry into the car and shut the door before the cold air had a chance to get in. You wrap your arm around yourself to protect the heat. You thought back to the things your grandma had said. So much was unexplained, and Aaron wasn't about to push for answers.

"So my grandma commented me going for older guys." You said.

"Mhm." He hummed. He started the car and pull out of the driveway.

"After I had graduated one of my old professors asked if I wanted to assist in one of his classes. I went, I assisted. We were grading finals and he made a pass at me. And I didn't decline it." You hesitated.

"Ok." That was all he said.

"Ok?" You were genuinely confused.

"Y/N I'm not gonna get mad at you."

"Your not?"

"No. That was your past. If you had said this was last week, then I would be mad." He chuckled.

"Ok." You had expected him to always be annoyed but he wasn't.

You had only been in one other serious relationship. That was with Ben. It wasn't much of a relationship as it was him controlling you.

2 years of "I'm not in the mood right now babe." but he still forced himself on you. 2 years of him telling you you weren't good enough to be in the FBI. 2 years of him mentally fucking with you until you didn't even notice yourself when you looked in the mirror.

He would just have a way of twisting a situation into making it your fault. Somehow you would always be the one apologizing.

Aaron knew all of this that's why you guys had taken it slow.

"And besides I wasn't surprised." He shrugged.

"What does that mean." You laughed.

"You seemed a little too comfortable with being with an older guy."

"You not that old."

"I'm only a couple of years younger than your mom." You both laugh.

"Yes, I know." 

"I could've known her in high school." He kept going. "Been friends with her."

"Ok, ok, babe I get it. You're an old man. But guess what you're my old man." You reach out and take his hand in yours.

"I love you." He said and lifted your hand to his lips.

"I love you too."


	15. He Knows

You sitting at the kitchen table going over files while drinking your morning coffee when you hear the small taps on your feet come up before you. You turn around and see Jack rubbing his eye.

"Good morning little man."

"Good morning." He mumbled.

"You want some eggs?" He nodded and climbed onto the chair. You close up the files so you didn't traumatize the little kid.

"Where's my dad?" He asked as you pulled out the stuff to make him some breakfast.

"He went to the store." You opened the fridge. "Cause there's nothing in this house." You whisper seeing that there wasn't much in there. Lucky there were 2 eggs left. You crack the eggs into the pan and start to scramble them.

"Y/N?"

"Yes." You turn your head to see he was playing with the pen you left there.

"When I went to Daddy's work yesterday I saw a picture of me and my dad on your desk." It was more of an observation than a question.

"Yeah, there's one of you and your dad, and me and your dad."

The picture of you and Aaron on one of the days the team had off. They all went to the zoo and somehow ended up at the park. You were watching Jack and Henry run around. Aaron had come behind you and wrapped her arms around you. You had put your arms over his and leaned into his chest. Penelope has snapped a picture of you two. She hadn't shown you till the day was over.

The other picture was from the same day. Aaron had been pushing Jack on a swing, you had gotten a picture when Aaron went to go pick him up. Aaron had the same picture on his desk.

"Do you love my dad?" You had expected this question but not until he was a little older.

"Yeah, I love both of you a lot. Is that ok?"

"Yeah, he's happy when your here." He added. You put the eggs on a plate.

"Good cause I don't know what I would do if you guys weren't in my life." You turned around and saw Aaron standing in the doorway holding grocery bags.

"Hi." You said trying to figure out how long he had been standing there.

"Hi." He smiled and you could see his dimples poke through.

He puts the bags on the counter and says hi to Jack. You put the plate in front of the boy and move the files to the side. You watched as Jack ate and Aaron put the food away. This was your life and you weren't complaining.

~~~~~

The day had come and gone and Jack was helping you make tacos for dinner.

"Y/N why is Strauss calling you?" You heart dropped at the mention of her name. You curse to your self and walk to the living room. You didn't say anything you just grabbed the phone from his hand.

"Hello?" You answered and ignored the confused look on Aaron's face.

"Agent Y/L, is this a good time?" She asked.

"Yes." You walk into Aaron room so you could hear her better.

"I just wanted to let you know that the board looked over your file and we all agreed that you would be a perfect addition." You jaw dropped. That was the last thing you had expected.

"Hello?" You hadn't said anything longer then you thought. You opened your mouth to respond when Aaron walked in and closed the door.

"Sorry. I- Thank you so much ma'am."

"I believe that you put in a great deal of effort into everything you do."

"You have no idea." You put your hand on the back of your neck and meet Aaron eyes.

"There will be a formal meeting on Monday to discuss how you will handle board work and being in the BAU assuming you want to stay on the team.

"Yes, of course."

"Good, we will discuss more on Monday 8:30 conference room B on the 8th floor." You nodded along to the instructions she gave. You eyes never leaving Aaron. You ended the conversation with another thank you and hung up.

"What was that?" He asked. You thought of how to explain everything that had happened.

"Ok this looks bad, this looks really bad, I was going to tell you but there's just been so much-" He cut you off.

"Tell me what?"

"About 6 weeks ago Strauss dropped off an application to be apart of the board." You ripped the band-aid off.

"That's amazing." He grabbed you hand.

"It was amazing last year when she first gave me the application. I didn't think she was being serious until she kept calling me about them. I didn't tell you about it because I didn't think it mattered cause we weren't together and I didn't get the job. But then I get to work late one day, I was late because I had to go back to my apartment because I ran out of clothes here and by the time I found clothes at my house I realized- bedside the point. I was late JJ called me into her office because Strauss had left the papers with her. Then I had to explain to JJ the whole situation and that I wasn't going to leave the BAU cause my qualifications haven't change. But then JJ brought up the fact that I got my doctorate which apparently made me look a million times more appealing to the board. But I filled them out and gave them to Strauss on the same day cause I didn't want her to be a pain in my ass cause we just gotten off the Sam Anderson case and everything was crazy. I didn't tell you because Haley had just died and we were helping Jack through it and I was helping you. You were having nightmares and the whole woth with my grandma happened. Then we have been working nonstop for the past 6 weeks which is crazy by the way-" Aaron's grabbed your arms as a way to bring you back to earth.

"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you." You finally said.

"It's ok." He pulled you into a hug. "I'm so proud of you." He whispered. He pulled away and he had a smile plastered over his face.

"Thank you."

"When do you start?"

"Monday 8:30am." You repeated Strauss. "Shit."

"What?"

"It's Saturday and all my clothes are dirty."

"I have a wash machine here." He pointed out.

"Right." He could see the gears in your brain starting to spin.

"Shut off your brain for a second." He raised his hands so they were cupping your cheeks.

"That's not possible."

"Well try." He smiled. You exhaled and shut your eyes. You felt him pull your face up. He placed a light kiss on your lips.

"I am so proud of you." He repeated. He rested his forehead on yours.

"Do you know what this means?" You asked.

"What?"

"I'm gonna be your boss." You poked his chest.

"Mmm, I guess I have to get used to taking orders from you." You laughed as he pulled you into another kiss.

"That should be fun to see."

~~~~~

It was Sunday afternoon and you were staring into the closet trying to figure out what to wear for the meeting. 

"You've been standing here for 20 minutes." Aaron said.

"Because I'm trying to decide if I should wear a skirt or pants. My dark Blue shirt or my Red blouse." He chuckled as he watched you panic. "This isn't funny." You pushed his shoulder.

"Wear the red, you look really good in red." He said.

"Well I'm trying to look professional." You looked back at the closet. "Jack!" You yelled. You needed an unbiased opinion.

The little boy pushed open the door and stood between you and his dad.

"Yes." He looked up at you.

"Blue or Red?" You held up the shirts to his eye level.

"Red." He answered quickly.

"He has his fathers taste." Aaron said and smiled.

"I can see that." You hung the blue shirt back up.

"Thank you." You said to Jack and he hopped back to the living room.

"Ok now skirt or pants." You held up both options to the shirt.

"Well the last time you wore a skirt..."He trialed off. You heard him take steps closer to you. Soon you felt his arms come from around your back and wrapped around your middle. "The last time you wore a skirt...we were in my office...and you were on top of me while I sat in my chair." You hummed remembering the event. Specifically the things that happened when you got home.

"So pants." You laughed.

"Pants." He agreed and rested his chin on your shoulder.

"I have to find my heels that match." You stated but didn't move.

"Why do they have to match?" He asked.

"You see how the pants are black?" You pointed at the outfit laid out on the bed.

"Mhm."

"So when you wear black pants your eyes are naturally drawn down, its not because you trying to look someone up and down it's just how our brains are wired."

"Ok." You continued.

"So the red shirt make your eyes go up. It just makes me look taller. So if I wear black heels I'll be taller but look even taller."

"But you'll be tall either way." He shrugged. You sighed loudly.

"Ok, you know how when you wear a grey suit you match your socks and shoes to it?"

"No."

"Yes you do, you put on grey socks and grey shoes." You nodded as you spoke.

"I don't have grey shoes."

"Yes you do."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do, you wore them with the grey suit the one day..." You realized you were going to incriminate yourself.

"What day?" He his perked up from your shoulder.

"The day Reid and I were showing everyone a physics magic trick, even though you had told us to stop- but that's not the point-" He was laughing. Not just a air coming out of his nose or a chuckle. Full on dimples showing and chest bouncing, laughing.

"The point is you have grey shoes, and I will look for them if you really want me to." You started to move back to the closet but his grip around you tightened.

"We'll look for them after your meeting." 

Satisfied enough with his answer, you turn around to face him still with his protective grip around you.

~~~~~

It was 7 o'clock on Monday morning and you were taking a freezing cold shower. It seemed to be the only thing that could wake you up. The cup of coffee didn't seem to do much.

When you step out you watch the water drip from your hair down your arm.

The first day jitters were starting to get to you. You start to bite at the inside of your cheek. It was a habit you couldn't break no matter how hard you tried. You let your hair air dry and then fix it so there's no hair out of place. When you walk into the bedroom after getting dressed there was no ones there. You walk out to the living room Aaron was getting his gun from the safe.

"I don't like it." You gesture to the clothes.

"You look beautiful." He walks over to you.

"Your just saying that cause you have too."

"Would I ever lie to you?" He lifts your chin so your looking at him.

"No." You mumbled.

"So when I say you look beautiful.." He trailed off.

"You mean it."

"Class dismissed." He leaned and kissed your nose. You walked back into the bedroom. Your suit jacket had been laid out on the bed. You grab the jacket and heels then you make your way to the kitchen.

"Surprise!" Aaron and Jack yell.

"What's this?" You set you stuff down in the chair next to Jack.

"We made you chocolate chip pancakes cause they're your favorite!" Jack exclaimed.

"Thank you." You ruffled the small kids hair and gave a small smile to Aaron who was standing across the counter.

Aaron plopped 2 pancakes on Jacks and your plates. You and Aaron listen as Jack goes on and on about stuff that's going on at school. You couldn't help but smile at how excited he got.

The time finally came when you had to drop Jack off at school. Which means your meeting start soon. You waited in the car as Aaron went to go walk Jack in. You look down at your hand and start to pick at your nails. You ball your hands into fists to make yourself stop. You let your hand spread out on your thighs.

"Everything's gonna be ok." Aaron said. You haven't heard him get back in the car. He reaches out to take one of your hands in his.

You didn't say anything, just nodding along. He never lets go over your hand the whole way to work. The whole ride was quiet, but it was a good quiet. You imagined what was going to be said at the meeting.

We're they going to change their minds after actually seeing you? Say your not qualified enough. Was Strauss just fucking with you?

"Stop psyching yourself out." He squeezes your hand to bring you back to earth.

"How did you-"

"I know you." He said before you could finished asking your question. 

There was nothing else you could say because Aaron had pulled into the parking lot. He guided you to the elevator. You step off on the sixth floor along with Aaron cause you had a few minutes before the meeting.

Since you had been coming in with him that meant being one of the first ones there. The bullpen was empty when you sat at your desk. The papers are on the desk scattered from before the weekend. You take a second to put them together and turn on your computer. It was 8:07am when you walked up to his office.

"I know you don't want me to, but I need a second to freak out, a second to psych myself out, a moment to doubt myself. Cause if I don't I might exploded in that meeting." You stood in the middle of his office.

"Ok." He was all ears.

"What if they end up hating me? What if Strauss says something that makes them not want to hire me? What if they think I'm not good enough?"

"Then you prove to them that you are." He moves to stand with you. "Cause I can't think of a better person for the job."

He always finds the right things to say. No matter how hard the situation maybe. You stand in silence to take in what he has said. You find his eyes and they hadn't left you.

You stand with him, nothing was said just him being there made it easier for you. You stand on your tippy-toes to quickly kiss him. He quickly catches your hip in his hand holding to his lips. You raise your hands to the back of his neck. You hummed as he pulled you in closer.

One of his hand slipped under your suit jacket. His hand moving to the small of your back.

"Your gonna be late." He pulls away.

"Just one more minute." He reluctantly pulls you in closer and kisses you lips. When he pulls back again he kisses your forehead mumbling something about you leaving again.

"Do you want me to take you up?" He runs his hand up and down your arm.

"No, I think I'll make it." You quickly kiss him once more. You straighten out your jacket and make your way out of his office. 

The 8th floor seemed so much bigger then the last time you were up there. The lay out was much different from the 6th floor. You turn down a hall that would be JJ's office but instead your met with Strauss office.

"Agent L/N." She calls out from her desk. You slightly smile and walk in to her office. "Mind if I walk with you." She didn't give you a chance to answer before she is standing with you.

"All of the other members should be here already." She said and opened the door to the conference room. You were familiar with the faces of the board. The team had had meetings with them before, all good endings to crappy situation.

"Good morning." You said and shock hands with each member. You took a seat to face them.

"Let's jump right in shall we." Maria one of the board member said. You smiled as she began.

"So from what I can see here, you've been with the BAU for a little over a year and a half."

"Yes ma'am."

"But you've been interning for the FBI for far longer?" Angel another member asked.

"Yes, I started some internships about 2 years ago." You clarify.

"It says that Erin Strauss had recommended you to the BAU." There it was. You had waited for one of them to bring it up.

"Yes, she has informed me that she had given my file to the Unit Chief of the BAU, Agent Aaron Hotchner."

"And Agent Hotchner is your boyfriend, correct?" Your eyes slightly widen, clearly taken back but the question.

Neither of you had told anyone besides the team. You hadn't even gotten around to telling Strauss, cause you knew that would make problem no one wanted to deal with.

It was only the team that knew, and they were aware of consequences. But at least they weren't hiding it from them anymore.

"Yes, he is." You finally answer.

"How long has that been going on?"

"7 months."

"And in that time, the efficiency of your team hasn't changed?"

"It had not ma'am." You folded your hands over your knee.

They nodded along. On paper nothing has changed. The ability of the team were the same. If anything they had gotten better. Morgan had been training you now knowing you had people to go home too. He didn't want anything like what happened with Cyrus to happen again.

"You have so of the best achievements we've ever seen." Angel said.

"Thank you sir."

"Assuming that nothing changes and you are ready to take on the extra work, we are more the willing to except you onto the board." You exhale slowly.

They pull out multiple papers for you to read over and sign. As you looked over them they discussed how you would balance between the team and the board. You were going to be over load for a while but it was gonna be worth it in the end.

As you signed the last paper you wished Aaron's as by your side ready to hug you as your tuned it over.

They all congratulated you. You stood up and shock their hands once more before leavening. You rushed as fast as you could back to the 6th floor.

Once the elevator door open you practically ran into the bullpen. Passing all the states coming from Derek, Reid and Emily. Straight to Aaron office you were.

"I fuckin did it." You let out a deep breath.

"Congratulations." He stood up. You walked over to him and threw you head on his chest. His grip around you already tight.

"Someone should be by to drop off my new case load soon." Your voice muffed by his chest.

"Well you might wanna tell them to hold off because we just got a case." He said. You groaned and pulled yourself for his arms.

"Speaking of which, the briefing is about to start." You nodded. Making your way out of his office and down the catwalk. Your met with many confused faces.

"Well doesn't someone look a little fancy today." Derek said with a cup of coffee in his hand.

"You do look pretty." Penelope said. You smiled.

"I was gonna say something, I just thought it was going to be over some drinks." You say the last part mostly to yourself.

"Tell us what?" Emily asked.

"Strauss gave me an application to be on the board. I bullshitted through it but apparently they loved it. So you guys are now looking at the newest member of the board." You rest your hands to your sides. The shocked looks spread on everyone's face.

"Are you going to leave us?" Penelope asked.

"No. I'm spilt the work. I'll still be with you guys all the time." After the confirmation everyone stood in congratulations. Hugs and kisses give.

After telling everyone you'll celebrate when you get back. Everyone focuses on the case at hand.


	16. Celebration

The day of flying, looking at dead bodies, and running around random cities had finally come to a close.

You lay on the bed arm spread across your body. You had felt part of your hair was still wet from the shower you took.

"You know we never got a chance to celebrate," Aaron said from the foot of the bed.

"I think we'll have plenty of time to do that when we get home." You opened your eyes to see him just standing there.

"Or." He trailed off. He crawled onto the bed and hovered over you.

He leans down and kisses you. You cup his face with your hands and deepens the kiss, your tongue pushing past his lips and exploring into his mouth. You moan softly; a whimper escaping from the back of your throat. The familiar ache between your legs becomes a throb, and when he pushes a knee between your legs you cry out, your hips starting to rock against his thigh. 

Your knees part on either side of his hips, holding him between your legs as he pulls at your pants. Pushing the band down your legs and over your feet. You arch your back instinctively, curling into him yet again.

Aaron's hand dips between your legs, a groan emitting from the very back of his throat when he finds your dripping wet. "Y/L," he says quietly, his eyes searching yours. You lift your hips just enough in an invitation, and when his fingers curl inside of you and then press up with just the right amount of pressure, you whimpers right into his mouth.

Your head falls back into the bed when his thumb glides over your clit before pausing once again.

"What are you waiting for," You breathe, pressing your forehead against his. He obliges willingly, one hand cupping the back of your head and the other working you over with unyielding precision.

It's dizzying, almost taking your breath away. It only takes a few minutes before the heat builds, higher and higher until you're keening in his ear, seconds away from a climax. You're even closer when Aaron suddenly withdraws his hand and when he pulls away, you yelp without even realizing it.

"Don't stop," you whine, bereft at the sudden loss of his hand. "Why did you stop?"

"I have a better idea," He says huskily. He moves to his feet back at the foot of the bed.

"What are you- Ah." You lightly scream as he pulls your feet. He stops right before your ass falls off the bed.

You sit up and watch as he slides your underwear off.

"Lay back," He orders. You obey and slowly settle on your back.

He kisses the inside of her knees, first the left and then the right, before draping your bare legs up onto his shoulders. You bite your lip, the intimacy of being spread apart in front of him like this enough to send a shiver down your spine. You look down in time to see Aaron's dark head disappear between your legs, and any doubts you had to vanish when his lips meet your skin.

You tremble in anticipation, tentatively lifting your hips against his face, and he takes his time exploring you. Spreading you open, even more, kissing you everywhere except where you want him.

He finally caresses you from top to bottom with his tongue, starting to slowly work you over. His tongue is inside of you now, persistent and relentless, and your vision blurs when his lips lock around your clit. Your toes curl and calves tighten around his shoulders; your fingers pull on his hair.

"Oh my god," You wail, reaching for something - anything - to hold on to as leverage. Your hands wrap around the edge of the bed, knuckles turning white as you start to fall apart in hardly any time at all.

He's better at this than you ever imagined, practically devouring you as his tongue delves inside of you again, and it's all so intensely good you can't contain the moan that escapes from the back of her throat, or the one that comes immediately after, completely unchecked.

Your spine arched off the bed as your legs start to shake, yet he has no intention of stopping. Aaron seems to know exactly how to build you up and keep you there just long enough until you cry out his name, your hips canting against his face.

"Aaron," you cry again, completely oblivious to the fact that they're not in a wholly private place.

There was no doubt in your mind that Derek and Emily could hear you. Considering their rooms were next to yours. 

"Shhh," he breathes against your thigh, taking his mouth off of you for only a brief second.

You glance down again, meeting his gaze, and that's all you need before you start to shake.

"That's it. Just like that." With one more stroke of his tongue, you fall apart, your entire body convulsing on the bed as he continues with his mouth, and all you can do is ride it out as the waves of pleasure course through your body.

Aaron slowly brings you back to earth, the press of his tongue easing, what was once deliberate ministrations are now gentle kisses. When he finally lifts his head, he looks incredibly pleased with himself, a handsome smirk beaming across his lips.

You're still on your back, breathing heavily, legs still spread apart around his shoulders. "God." Your eyes are dazed and slightly glassy, your chest heaving.

"Aaron is fine too," he quips with a grin, unable to take his eyes off of you.

"Come here," you reach for him and pulls clumsily at his shirt until he's practically on top of you, settling between your legs easily. When his mouth is on yours once again, you can taste yourself on his lips. It doesn't faze you, and you lick the seam of his lips, teeth clashing against his.

"Where did you learn how to do that?" You pulled back to look at him.

"Do you want the answer to that?" He asked back.

"Yes and no."

"I used to be a prosecutor." He put it simply.

"So you talked all day long. Ok." You smiled and pulled him back up to kiss you again.

"Which also means I always get my way." He moved his head down to kiss your neck. "But tonight," He kisses his way back up. "is about you getting your way." He kisses your lips.

"So what else do you want to do?" Without a second beat, you start to take his shirt off. Your hands fall to take off his pants.

"Use your words." He placed his hands on yours.

"I want you."

~~~~~

The next morning came to quickly. 4 hours of sleep mixed with jet lag wasn't the best combination. You were in the middle of rubbing your eye when you walked out of the room.

"Looks like someone had a long night." Derek said.

"Shut up." You waved him off.

"You heard it too?" Emily asked Derek.

"How couldn't I." Derek said.

"Perv." You slap his arm.

"You can be very loud at times." You felt the heat rise in your cheeks at his statement.

"Makes me think what fun we could have." He nudged you shoulder.

"Go call Penelope." You rolled your eyes and walked into the elevator.

You rest your head on Emily shoulder you shut your eyes.

When the elevator Walking to the rest of the team felt like a marathon. Plopping down on one of chairs your jaw locks.

The soreness between your legs was excruciating. Keeping a straight face was one of the hardest things ever.

When you successfully find a comfortable position you look to the rest of the team. Aaron was looks straight at you. His face was asking if you were ok. You slightly nodded and give him a wink. His facial expressions hadn't changed.

How the hell was he able to do that. He looked pissed all the time even when it was just the two of you.

The police station wasn't that far from the hotel. It was a long car ride of Emily and Dereks teasing.

Reid and you were partner together to reading of the victims files and work on the geographical profile.

You walk into the board room with two cups of coffee. Everyone was out talking to suspects and family.

You drop of cup in front of Spencer and you saw him jump slightly. Your eyes linger on him as you sit next to him. He was reading the page a little longer then it should've.

"What's wrong?" You asked.

"Why do you assume somethings wrong?" He asked back.

"Because you jumped, and you don't jump Spence. Not to mention this took you almost a while minute to read even though it should've taken you 30 seconds." You gesture to the papers as you spoke.

"You remember Meave?" He asked.

"Phone booth girl? yeah I remember you talking about her." You brought your legs to your chest seeming to be the only position you were comfortable in.

"She wants to meet." He blurted out.

"Wait." You were in shock. "You guys have never met?" He shakes his head.

"Spence the way you talk about her, I would've swore you met her." He grins lightly. "Aren't you curious what she looks like?"

"No, It doesn't matter what she looks like. I mean, she's already the most beautiful girl in the world to me." He looked at his hands.

"The world needs more guys like you." You commented but you could still see the worry on his face. You reach over to grab his hand.

"It's just- what is she doesn't like me?" He asked.

"Why wouldn't she like you?"

"Because I'm wired." He said "I slouch, my hair's too long, my tie's perpetually crooked."

"Your hair's fine." You corrected.

"Really? Thanks. My mom thinks it's too long. So does my aunt Ethel."

"Well you're not dating them." You joke.

"I just- I- I just wouldn't want to ruin something so special over something so trivial as looks." He finally look up at you.

"I think your excited but afraid." He nodded. "Seeing her will only make the relationship better. Trust me." You squeeze his hands tightly. "When does she wanna meet?"

"Right when we get back." He said.

"Do it. Don't psych yourself out."

"We'll see." He said. You give him one last smile before letting his hand go and leaning back in your chair.

~~~~~

You and Reid have been sitting in the same room for the past 4 hours and haven't gotten anywhere.

"I come bearing food." Emily and Derek walk in to where you and Reid had been.

"This is why I love you." She holds out the sandwich just enough so your not able to reach it. "Emily please, I'm hungry." You begged but she didn't move.

"Stand up and grab it." She waved it in your face.

"You know I can't." You said through grinding teeth.

"I know that's why I'm making you get up." She smiled wide. Derek was no help in this situation. He just stood in the back laughing.

"Emily give her the sandwich." JJ said as she walked in along side Aaron and Rossi. After the comment Emily quickly handed over the food.

You mumbled a silent thank you to JJ and started eating. Emily passed out the rest of the food.

"So the C.O.D was solanine poisoning. It was used to control the victim while they were being held captive." JJ said.

"Solanine is a potent toxin and hallucinogen that comes from the black nightshade plant." Reid started rambling. "The unripe berries were used in the middle ages for torture. The effect it has is like a bad acid trip."

"That's not fun." You and Rossi said in unison.You took anything bite of your sandwich not thinking about what you had said.

"What?" You asked when you saw everyone's eyes on you. Realizing the words that had slipped out you explained.

"Ok it's not what you think." You look at Aaron who had had the most shock look of them all. "I unfortunately know some people that did it." You look at Rossi who was smiling proudly. "I've also read some stuff about it, and it's mostly described as a really bad high after smoking weed. Which I've had- and you know about cause I told you." You looked back to Aaron.

His face went back to his normal non-expressive self. Everyone laughed.

"There a lot we don't know about you Ms.Genius." Derek said.

"I had a lost year after I graduated, I don't like talking about it mostly because I don't remember it." You folded your lips into a thin line.

"You knew about this?" Derek asked Aaron and points at you. All he did was nodded. They all shrugged and look to Reid as he explained something else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's short but something is gonna come up next chapter.


	17. Valhalla

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven’t watched past season 6 I suggest you don’t read these chapters because they’re based off Valhalla and Lauren.

The next two chapters are going to be based on Valhalla and Lauren. Sorry. 

It’s been a couple of months since starting on the board. Paperwork has been piling up but you were on top of it for the most part. The only thing that sucked was all the work had been eating into your time with Aaron and Jack. At this point, they were the only things keeping you sane.

Things with the team have been strange. Derek was starting to catch on to Reid and having a girlfriend. Of course, you were the only one that knew because that was how things worked with you and Spencer. 

Penelope had found herself another man that was more suitable than Kevin was. Some guy named Luke Alvez. All of the girls approved of him. 

Speaking of girls, you hadn’t gotten an update on what’s going on with Emily and JJ. It was just that one frantic phone call. 

JJ was off doing some liaison stuff for the Pentagon. That certainly did tip Emily off her axis for a while. 

Emily had been acting strangely lately. Secret phone calls, always leaving early. She hasn’t been coming out for girls nights either. 

With your access to past cases and extensive knowledge on how to cross-reference, you googled her. Well in the database that is. She had been on multiple undercover cases that were mostly sealed. You were able to get the gist of her assignment. There was no anniversary of any kind or anything that could stress her out, so you left it. 

Another day, another case. 

“Two DC homes torched, two families, on the same night, last night.” Penelope started. You pushed your glasses up as you look at the picture on the tv screen. 

“I’m surprised it still hasn’t hit the news. it’s nearly mid-day.” Derek said 

“Yeah, all anyone is talking about is this storm that may or may not hit.” Penelope waved the remote in the air. “But it gets weirder.” 

“Ron and Lauren Cosenza and their 10-year-old son were found in the master bedroom of the house,” Aaron said. 

Why does that name sound familiar. 

“Looks like a murder-suicide.” You said mostly to yourself. 

“Looks like metro P.D’s investigation is going that way, but it’s still the first 48,” Derek said. 

Spencer goes on to talk about the other family. They were found in the same place in the home. 

Their names seemed familiar too. Seeing their faces hadn’t helped place the names. 

“I’m just saying the facts and the facts happen to be-” Penelope was most likely making a sarcastic remark to Derek. 

“Guys, I’m sorry I’m late.” Emily rushed in and threw herself in the seat next to you. 

“You ok?” Aaron asked from across the table. 

“Yeah, it’s just one of those weeks, I guess. I’m sorry. What did I miss? Arsonist?” 

Derek explains the theories to her. You watch as she shifts uncomfortably in her chair. Her jaw is clenched which means she’s annoyed for some reason. 

Before you could come up with a plan of action everyone was leaving the room. You scramble together all the files and move to the door. 

“I will make it my life mission to figure out who these guys are-” Penelope was prying into Emily. 

“Stop, Just stop. We have enough to worry about already.” Emily snapped. 

This isn’t Emily, she never snapped let alone at Penelope. No one ever snaps at Penelope. 

“Why is she being like this all of the sudden?” Penelope asked and watched Emily walk to her desk. 

“I don’t know sweets.” You walk up to her and rub her back. 

“She’s been at everyone's throats since JJ left.” She said. 

“Yeah, I know. But I think it may be something more than that.” 

“Like what?” She asked. 

“I’m not sure.” You shrugged. You both link arms and start to walk out of the briefing room. 

“Aren’t you supposed to know everything?” Penelope joked. 

“Yeah, but I got a lot of information up here already.” You hit the corner of the case file to your head. 

Penelope walks back to her office. You turned to see Emily staring at her phone. 

“So who pissed in your cereal this morning?” You asked, trying to joke around. Deep down you just want to know what was going on. 

“What?” Her tone was still mildly annoyed. 

“Why have you been being such a bitch lately?” There wasn’t time to beat around the bush. Your facial expression was straight no emotion. 

“You know you look like Hotch when you do that.” She scoffed avoiding the question. 

“Answer me.” Your voice stern. 

“I haven’t been a bitch.” 

“Really? I have a few people that would disagree with that statement.” You were annoyed. 

“Just because I’ve had an off day doesn’t make me a bitch.” 

“Emily you’ve had an off month, you’ve been snapping at everyone for no reason.” 

“Right, and your Ms. Perfect all the time.” 

“What?” She was starting to pick a fight over nothing. It’s what she’s been doing all month. 

“Just because you above us doesn’t give you the right to tell us what to do.” This wasn’t the Emily you knew and loved. 

“Ok first off, yes I have the authority to tell you what to do but I never do. Second, stop acting like a child.” 

“I’m acting like a child… you _are_ a child. A kid with too much power. Wouldn’t we all like to know how you got there so quickly?” 

“I don’t know what you're trying to insinuate but-” 

“I’m insinuating that you slept your way to the top.” You felt your face get hot from anger. 

“You know what Emily, out of all the people I thought you’d get it.” 

“Get what?” She rolled her eyes. 

“Loving someone you're not supposed to.” 

“What are you trying to say?” 

“I’m saying you slept with J-”

“Y/L.” Aaron's voice came from behind you. “Emily my office.” She rolled her eyes and walked up to Aaron’s office. 

“I’ll talk to you later.” He said to you. 

When you look back to where Emily was standing Derek was looking at you. 

“You gonna tell me about that when we get in the car?” Derek asked. 

“I’d rather not.” 

“We’ll you gotta come with me anyway cause you kinda got my partner in trouble.” 

_She got herself there but yeah let’s make it my fault._ You thought as you walk with Derek to the elevator. 

~~~~~

“So what’s your take on these guys?” He asked. 

“They’re contracting themselves, exposing bodies but then going through all of this to hide it.” You shrugged. 

“Do you think they wanted us on the case?” 

“Us, the BAU? Why would they?” You asked back. 

“Ego, Control. Some kind of agenda.” Derek said. 

“I don’t even think we’re on their radar.”

Derek didn’t say a word for the rest of the drive. You still had no idea where you were going. He told you to get in the car so you did it. 

When you guys pull up to a house all the light were off. You look at Derek and raise an eyebrow. 

“You sure this is it?” You asked and looked back at the house. 

“Maybe nobody’s home, Garica never got an answer.” 

“Then why did we- never mind.” You stopped yourself knowing it was a dumb question. You step out of the car and start to walk over to Derek. 

“L/N, get down!” Derek yelled. The sound of guns firing filled the air. You heard the bullets hit the car that you were hiding behind. 

You reach for your gun when Derek yells something about going to the back of the car. 

A bullet goes through the car window and causes glass to shatter over your head. 

The sound of guns going off stopped. You slowly raise to your feet and see the group of people walking to the corner. 

There stood a single file, they were wearing some kind of mask on. You lean over the car to see if you had a shot. Once you saw the white of the mask you pull the trigger. Hearing a faint groan you knew you fit him. 

Your plan didn’t work out so well because your one shot causes hundreds more to come your way. 

Being barely covered by the trunk of the car you crouch down as far as you can go. 

You and Derek jump from car to car. Firing whenever you can. 

Apparently they hadn’t run out of rounds yet, cause when they saw your and Derek they let it all rain down on you guys. Ducking down you saw one from the group that had fallen behind. 

After having a countdown to yourself you stand up from behind the car and shot. He went down. It looked like you shot him in the leg. 

There were two more shots that were fired but they weren’t aimed at you. It sounded like a door closed followed by screeching of tires. 

You turn the corner guns still raised. The car was too far away so you couldn’t see the license plate. 

Looking down you saw the man you had shot- dead- on the ground. 

“I’ll call Hotch.” Derek said, holstering his gun. You followed his lead and put your gun away. 

Someone must’ve called in the gun shots because cop cars were pulling up on the street. 

“They got the call about the gunshots they’ll be here in like two minutes.” Derek said when he came back. 

You nodded along not being able to find the right words. 

“It’s not your fault, he was shooting at us.” Derek said to you. 

“I know, he just can’t be more than 25.” You said once you removed the mask from his face. “He’s just a kid.” 

“A kid with an assault weapon isn’t just a kid anymore.” He handed you a pair of gloves. 

Derek examined the body and found traces of a tattoo. There was nothing really felt. 

“Let’s get some pictures to Reid, he’s better at putting that kinda stuff together.” You said. 

“Did you just say Reid is better than you?” Derek smiled. 

“No it’s just my focus is linguistics.” You paused. “It’s what got me and Emily so close.” 

“What’s been going on with you two anyway?” He asked and stood back up. 

“I don’t know, she just hasn’t been Emily.” 

“Yeah, I’ve seen that too.” 

The conversation fell short. It wasn’t awkward silence, it was more of you two trying to read each other’s minds. 

“Ok so 3 of the 6 victims are from europe.” You started to get the ball rolling for ideas. 

“And then mini beryl says they’re serious.” Derek gestured to the gun that was still strapped to the man you had shot. 

“We saw how they move. They’ve gotta be ex-military.” You crossed your arms. 

“European hit squad cleaning mouse? It’s happened before.” Derek said. 

“They could’ve taken us out- easily, why didn’t they?” You said. 

“What!?” You heard Aaron’s voice come up from behind you. 

“Shit.” You whispered to yourself as Derek laughed. 

“We’re ok.” You turned your attention to your worried boyfriend. “Getting shot at is my best quality.”

“Not funny.” He was right, no one looked amused. You watched as he scanned your body for any injuries. 

“FBI agents gunned down in D.C would have definitely started a war.” Derek finished his thought. 

“A war this kid wasn’t prepared for.” Emily came around from your other side. 

“He’s just a foot soldier, whoever shot him is the leader.” Derek looked at everyone. 

“Someone must’ve warned Byron Delaney to get out.” Rossi said. 

“And whoever it is, is next on the list.” Aaron said. You glance up to Emily who was standing next to you. She walks away from the body and you follow. 

“Emily.” You reached out and grabbed her arm. 

“What?” There was still a hint of annoyance in her voice. 

“Do you know something about this case?” You asked gently. 

“If I did don’t you think I would’ve said it by now?” She rolled her eyes. 

“Well anything possible.” 

You let go over her arm and watched as she walked into the house. 

Her reaction to new information has been tense. Her body would tighten and she would hold her breath. Like we were getting close to something she didn’t want us finding. 

“Do you want to tell me what’s been going on with you two?” Aaron asked. 

“There’s nothing to say.” You hated lying to him. 

“You two were yelling in the middle of the bullpen, you and Emily don’t fight.” 

He was right, for the almost 2 years you’ve been on the team you and Emily never yelled at each other. Yes there would be time you would argue about something but that would blow over in minutes. 

“She just hasn’t been...Emily.” You couldn’t think of another way to put it. 

“Do you think it has to do with what’s been going on with JJ?” He asked. You completely forgot you had told him about that. 

“No, she wouldn’t let that affect her work, you know that.” Emily’s had a lot of stuff go down in her life but you couldn’t tell. 

He mumbled something about stayed as focused as possible. You weren’t really paying attention. You watched as Emily's face twitched when she was outside the house. 

You kept your distance from her as much as you could. But since the car your and Derek drove in got shot up you had to ride back with Rossi, Hotch and Emily. 

The car ride was extremely silent. Derek forced you to sit in the middle of him and Emily. She pushed herself as close to the door as possible. 

When walking into the bullpen you saw Spencer focused on a paper. 

“Reid, you got anything?” Derek walked up to him and you sat at your desk that was next to Spencers. 

“The damage is pretty extensive, but luckily some of the tatto remains.” He continued shading in the picture. 

You rubbed your eyes waiting for Spencer to be finished. 

“I think I know who dug the hole.” Penelope walked into the circle you all had formed. “The journal told me to follow the money, like straight up, that’s what he told me, so I did.” She keeps tak as she walks over the the bulletin board. 

“It turns out “The Gazette” is owned by a multinational global conglomerate- oil, new technology shipping, air and ground transportation, all of which employ the services of one company- CWS.” 

The sound of the name made your head perk up. 

“Clear Water Securities?” You asked looking at Penelope. She nodded along. 

“You know them?” Rossi looked at you. 

“I’ve come across them. They’re a private counterintelligence group out of Geneva. They’re assholes.” You added the last part unnecessarily. 

“All of our victims worked for them.” Penelope added. 

“How long ago?” Emily asked. 

“7 years.” Penelope said. 

You thought about all the sketchy things they’ve done. Most happened before you were on the team. You only heard about it once you joined the board. 

“Got it.” 

Spencer leans back in his chair showing off the finished tattoo. You slightly lift from your chair to look over, it looked like a four leaf clover. But there was something off about it. You sit back down already having the image commuted to memory. 

Emily turns around with a scared look spread across her face. She makes eye contact with you 

before walking away. Penelope had noticed the same look.

Penelope's eyes drifted to you neither one of you wanting to follow her, because there was a good chance you would get yelled at. 

Soon enough Penelope followed Emily to the bathroom. 

“We need to talk to the head of CWS.” Aaron looked at you. 

“I’ll call him.” You walked away phone in hand. You passed the bathroom and heard Emily’s voice. She didn't sound mad, it was something. 

You made a quick phone call to the department head. After some arm twisting you got them to come in. 

Walking back into the bullpen it was silent. You informed everyone that there will be a meeting in 15 minutes. Hotch instructed Derek and Rossi to meet them. 

Hesitantly you walk over to the bathroom to get Emily. The conversation they were having had stopped when you walked in. 

“Hotch needs us in the scif.” You said. Emily gave Penelope a pat on the shoulder and walked with you. 

The scif was one of the meeting rooms that was used for sensitive information. Walls were thick so no one outside could hear. Thick enough so there was no cell service, not like they would let you bring one in anyway. 

When you both walked into the room all echoed sounds had been drawn out. You were the first two there. It was pure silence between the two of you. Even her breathing was quiet. 

10 minutes and not a word. Yes you had counted the amount of minutes from when you sat down. You thought of apologizing but decided against it. 

The door opened behind you. Aaron walked in and took the seat next to you. 

You silently prayed that they would be early even though it would only be by 3 minutes. Your prayers are answered when Derek and Rossi walk in with a group of men behind them. 

“Exactly why did you bring us here? and why is a BAU interested in CWS?” Stan the department head said. 

“Why did you pull that story?” Derek said and he and Rossi took seats that were next to Emily. 

You passed him the file with pictures of the victims and how they were found. 

“That’s how you remember them. And how they are now.” Hotch said as they all filled through the pictures. 

“You warned your friend Byron Delaney. You knew him the longest. It’s too bad you were too late.” Derek said. 

“I’d you’re looking for reactions, this is our business.” Stan said. That got a few tilted heads from everyone. 

“Business?” Rossi asked. Nothing was said. They all just hung their heads. 

“Kerry Fagan, Ron Consenza and Byron Delaney, all worked for CWS.” Derek said. 

“As do 40,000 other subcontractors all over the world.” Stan said. 

“So they were subcontracted to you.” Dere said. 

“If you're looking for answers, Take it up with the main contractor.” 

He was getting mad and you could hear it in his voice. It didn’t take much to get Stan riled up. 

“And that would be?” Rossi asked. 

“Your government.” 

“Alright Stan let’s cut the bullshit here.” You started. “We both know you run operations everywhere and it’s gonna take months for you to get that information. But we both also know you already started that search, and that’s why you pulled the story.” 

The room was tense after a second, the whispers started. 

“The cases his people were involved in our protected by a multinational official secret agreement. Ever if I could-” You cut him off knowing exactly where that conversation was gonna go. 

“You can say it, you just don’t want to.” 

“These people were killed on U.S soil by trained suspects who fired on federal agents.” Derek said. You swallow hard remembering what had only happened a few hours ago. 

“As a courtesy and out of respect for the predicament your company now faces, everything in this room is off the record, however outside this room, if you withhold information about the case, you and your company will be held fully accountable.” Hotch said 

“All right. What do you know?” Stan asked. 

Hotch and Derek gave the profile about the group you were looking for. Once they went over how we think for one member it’s personal, Emily stuffined. 

You handed over Reid’s sketch of the tattoo. 

“We ran an operation to capture the leader of a breakaway IRA faction years ago. He assumed that moniker.” Stan said. 

“What’s his name?” Hotch asked. 

“Ian Doyle.” From the corner of your eye you saw Emily shift in her seat. 

~~~~~ 

Back in the briefing room Penelope had informed everyone that Ian Doyle was one everyone’s list. 

“Look, Doyle’s been away for 7 years, but he still manages to figure out who the players were. Maybe we should start with how he got out of prison.” Emily started. 

“Where was he locked up?” Derek asked. 

“Russia, I think.” 

“Actually, there are no extradition papers on him.” You corrected her. You didn’t make eye contact with her. 

“Was Doyle on your radar when you were at interpol?” Aaron asked Emily. Her attention was still on you. 

“Uh, sure,” She focused back on Aaron. “I had heard of him, but directed contact? I’d have to ask around.” 

“Do.” He said and Emily walked out of the room. 

“Good guys and bad keep files close to them.” Rossi said. 

“What are in these files?” Penelope asked. 

“It’s intel. Insurance. Protection. For times like this. It makes it easier for them to leave whenever they need to.” You explained to her. She nodded along.

Aaron had sent Derek and Emily back to the house. 

“The more players we get on this board, the sooner Erin will get her nose in it.” Rossi said 

“Strauss already knows.” Aaron said. 

“I’m surprised she wasn’t in the scif.” 

“She’s on vacation.” 

“Oh. Great. Now she’ll never take another one.” You said and moved to stand by them. Rossi cracked a small smile. 

“Is everything about this guy classified?” Rossi gestured to Doyle’s picture. 

“Somebody knows him. We just haven’t found them yet.” Aaron left the briefing room leaving you and Rossi standing at the board. 

“How’ve you been? You’re quieter than usual.” Rossi asked. 

“This case is bad, I can't get the board to stop breathing down my neck.” 

“We’ll get him.” He assured you. 

“How many people have to die before we do?” It came off harsher then you had intended. “I’m sorry.” You breath out. Rossi squeezed your shoulder before he walked out. 

~~~~~

It was time to give the profile of Doyle. There were so many people in the bullpen. Your hanging up the phone when you see Penelope walk up to you. 

“The journalist is eating out of my hand, he had no idea I was promising him a full-fledged manhunt.” Penelope spoke fast. She must’ve had at least 3 cups of coffee by now. 

“It’s more than that, there’s at least 5 agencies reps here.” 

“Oh, I love being a multi-agency taskforcing. And on our turf- it gets my blood up.” You step forward and take the coffee from her hand. 

After placing the cup on the table you look up to Aaron’s office. 

“When are they going to get started?” Penelope asked following your glance. 

“D.C. metro police are held up, they found two bodies on K and 9th.” You tell her. You watched as her face fell. “Derek and Emily went to go check it out.” 

Penelope went up to the briefing room to make sure it had all the info on it. You have started a conversation with one of the department heads. 

They were all starting to get restless. These guys were built to chase after guys, so waiting wasn’t their strongest quality. Before you got anymore complaints Aaron and Rossi walked out of his office. 

They situated themselves at the front of the the room. 

“It’s not often that we know a subject's name, and in this case knowing Ian Doyle’s identity doesn’t give us very much. He’s known to a select few, and those who know him well either work beside him or they’re in his list.” Aaron started. 

From the corner of your eye you see Derek and Emily walk in. You move through the crowd to stand by Derek. 

“Does it look like our guy?” You whispered. 

He only nodded not wanting to draw attention away from the profile. 

“There were 7 operatives on the mission altogether, and the remaining 5 have been warned. All the federal and international agents responsible for tracking him down are now his list of targets.” 

You felt someone’s eyes on you. Aaron had been talking to the whole room. Everyone’s eyes were focused on him. You turn around to see Emily staring you down. 

“You good?” You whispered. 

“I’m good.”She gave you a forced smile and focused her attention back to the briefing. 

Once it was over you all started to move to where Aaron and Rossi stood. You looked around to see most of the people had cleared out. 

“I got 4 names on the bottom of the Prentiss gave us.” Derek started. “Luke Renault, Lawrence Riley, Lila Rafferty, Lyle Rogers.” Everyone noticed the L.R. pattern. 

“The CIA uses cryptograms like that to assign to non-official cover agents working the same case.” Aaron filled in. 

“These last 4 names are cover-spies.” Derek pointed to the paper. Penelope noticed there was something wrong with the way it looked. You had noticed it too. 

“Wait.” She grabbed the paper from his hand. “No. This isn’t right. So you see this stance? That shouldn't be here.” She points to the blank slot and the bottom. 

“Could it be a formatting error?” Spencer asked. 

“No this is a spreadsheet template.” Penelope said and everyone shared a confused look. 

“The formatting doesn’t allow for it to happen.” You explained. 

“There is a missing name on here.” 

Things were being said but you were going through all your memories. You had heard a name like that before. It was only for a second- you didn’t think anything of it when you first heard it. You shut your eyes trying to focus on your thoughts. 

You can see it- clearly in your head. 

_Lauren Reynolds is dead._

It’s Emily. 


	18. Lauren

“Emily- It’s Emily.” You said getting everyone’s attention. 

“What?” Aaron turned to you. 

“Lauren Reynolds is dead. Emily said that 16- no 17 days ago.” You were stumbling over your words. “We were walking to the briefing room and you were rambling on about your weekend.” You were looking at Spencer. “You Penelope and I were supposed to go to some cyber-crime conference, but Jack had a last-minute soccer game so I stayed with Aaron.” You looked to Aaron whose eyes hadn’t left you. “We walked in and Emily said Lauren Reynolds died in a car accident, Spencer you were too caught up in the conversation I don’t even think you noticed.”

You shut your eyes trying to remember what else had happened. Her posture was tense. One hand was balled into a fist. She was biting into her cheek. Her voice.

“Her intonation wasn’t surprised or grief.” Aaron pulled out his phone and started dialing Emily’s number. “It-it was like a mantra-like she was reminding herself.” You were trying to catch your breath from rambling. 

Aaron passed you following the sound of a phone ringing. It ended right at Emily’s desk. He leans down and opens the drawer to find her phone, badge, and gun. 

“If Prentiss is the last name on that list, she’s on Doyle’s list too,” Derek said. 

“That explains her behavior the past month. The secrets, the evasion.” Rossi said. 

“She has been biting her fingernails again,” Spencer added. Aaron walked back over with Emily's stuff in his hands. 

“She left her badge and gun? Why would she do that?” Derek asked no one in particular. 

“That doesn’t make sense. Why run? We’re her family. We can help.” Spencer was hurt. 

“Doyle’s killing families.” Rossi started. “She is not married, not close to relatives. He was ready to wipe us out.” 

“She ran to protect us.” You finally spoke. Your mouth was dry. Everything was spinning which made it hard to breathe. 

_You're just panicking-take a deep breath._

You repeat that to yourself. There was a hand on your lower back. Following the hand, you were met with Aaron's eyes. From the little contact, you felt more stable. 

“She's a trained spy. She doesn’t want to be found.” Rossi said. 

“She knows all of our tricks. We don’t know any of hers.” Derek said. 

“That’s not true.” You stepped to the evidence board. “We know Emily, she’s headstrong. She is not gonna stop till she gets what she wants. What does she want?” 

“Doyle.” Aaron walked up to stand beside you. “Ian Doyle is our unsub, Emily is our victim. We profile their behavior and we treat it like any other case.” He paused. “Because terrorism isn’t an area we specialize in, I’ve reached out to an expert from the state department. Someone who can also shed light on Prentiss’ past.” 

“Who?” Spencer asked. 

“Let’s get to work.” JJ was standing behind the whole group. 

~~~~~

Excusing yourself from the group you walked to the bathrooms. Turing on the sink you splashed your face with cold water. Inevitably rubbing off whatever makeup was left on your face. Looking up in the mirror you saw your eyes were red. 

“She’s gonna be ok. She’s gonna be ok.” You mumbled to yourself. 

After drying off your face, you walked back to the briefing room. 

“Ok, so I talked to a friend from Langley. He couldn’t give me Emily’s full CIA history, but he could give me this.” JJ turns to the tv screen. You all watched as Emily's face appeared. Her face was rounder, her hair long- lighter then it is now. 

“She assumed the identity of Lauren Reynolds as part of a special task force called JTF-12.” JJ continued. 

“I heard about them. They were profiling terrorists right?” Rossi asked. 

You had heard some stuff about them too. They were extremely good at what they did. But when given the chance to look into it there were big chucks marked out. You were told to keep the mission quiet. 

JJ went out about a past mission Emily had been on. You watched as the picture on the tv changed. Everything was going on one ear and out the other.

You racked through your memories- every time you had seen her- whenever something was off. 

Why didn’t she just say something.

We can help. 

“Hey.” The sound of Aaron’s voice brought you back to earth. He took the seat next to you. You took a second to look around the room and see that everyone else has left.You forced a smile.

He didn’t say anything, he didn’t need to say anything. He was giving you a minute to lose control, to not have the weight of the world on your shoulders. 

You let out a shaky breath before speaking. “I’m not gonna cry, I'm not gonna allow myself to do that.” 

“Ok.” He reached out for your hand. 

You brushed your thumbs across the back of his hand. His grip tightened on your hands. 

The two of you sat in silence, it didn’t feel like a long time. But when there was a knock at the door you realize it has been a while. 

“Are we interrupting something?” Rossi asked as him and Derek stood in the doorway. 

“No.” You spoke allowing them to come in. 

Aaron stood to meet Rossi and Derek half way. Rossi pulled what looked like a necklace out of his pocket. 

“What is it?” Aaron asked. 

“It’s called a gimmel ring.” Rossi said. 

“Your kidding.” You said and took a few steps to stand next to Aaron. Rossi didn’t respond; he just dangled the necklace from his finger. Aaron looked between the two of you with a confused look. 

“The husband and wife-to-be wear individual bands during the engagement and at the wedding.” Rossi pushed the rings together to form one. 

“You see the markings in the middle? Gaelic. Doyle gave it to her.” Derek said. 

_Shit_

~~~~~

“Gracia, I need you to go through all Emily's old contacts. See if you can get her or if anyone knows where she might be.” Aaron instructed. Penelope nodded and walked back to her office. 

Everyone started to make their way out of the bullpen yet you hadn’t moved. 

“You coming?” Derek asked. 

“Emily has a lot of contacts, I’m gonna help Penelope sort through them.” You said. 

“Ok.” Derek took one second to scan your body. 

You walked him to the elevator and waited for the doors to close. Once his face was out of sight you walked in the direction of Penelope office. But you didn’t make it. You turned to one of the offices that hadn’t been used in a while. 

You shut the door behind you but didn’t bother to turn the lights on. Taking a seat in the big chair that sat behind the desk you pulled out your phone. 

It had been opened to one number. Emily had mentioned something about having emergency passports, money, phone numbers, the works. 

It took a lot of digging to find the number. You had been sitting on it for a while. There hadn’t been a reason for you to call it. 

You watch your phone until the screen starts to shut off. 

You tap the screen bringing back to life. Taking a deep breath you call it. 

There was no answer, you weren’t really surprised. The phone beeped for you to leave a message. 

“Hey it’s me, Penelope’s going through your old numbers and contact to see if anyone knows where you might be. I have this number, I don’t even know if this is you but I have a strong feeling it is.” You took a pause. “Damn it Emily why didn’t you say anything? You know we can help you. Then again we all know you like fighting your own battles. Just come home please.” There was a slight break in your voice. 

“What hell did you think? We were gonna 

just let you leave? Let you do this by yourself?” You tighten your jaw trying to not yell. “I love you Emily, ok? You are my best friend if you like it or not. Just stay alive ok? Just stay alive long enough for us to find you. Bye.” 

Putting the phone down you wipe away the tears that had fallen. After taking a few deep breaths you walk out of the office. 

Right before you walk into Penelope’s office your phone starts ringing. It’s the same number. You push through the doors and tell propels to try and track the call. 

“Hello?” You answered. There was no answer. “Emily?” You asked as the tear ran down your face. 

“I’m sorry.” Her voice was soft. It sounded like she had been crying too. Before you could say anything else about the line with dead. 

“Anything?” Your voice cracking. You watched as Penelope types away at her computer. 

“Boston, Massachusetts.” She kept typing. “That’s all I can get. She wasn’t on the line long enough.” 

“At least we know where she is.” You pick up your phone again and dial another number. 

“Aaron, she's in Boston.” 

~~~~~ 

The flight to Boston felt like it was never going to end. The amount of anxiety building up in your stomach was enough for everyone. 

The police had some scrawny guy that had been in cahoots with Doyle. He was the only thing standing between you and finding Emily and he wasn’t talking. 

You and Rossi had agreed to take Fahey out for a smoke so he would calm the hell down. It took about everything in you not to light one yourself. Rossi would've smacked it out of your hand the second he saw it. 

“You know when a cigarette is best?” He held it out for you to take it but you waved your hand. “After sex with me.” 

“Mind your manners.” Rossi stepped in front of you. You put a hand on his shoulder telling him that it was ok. He stepped back to stand next to you. 

“So, just out of curiosity, what’s it like working for Doyle.” You bit your lip feeding his narcissistic ego. 

“Eh, he’s not so tough.” He looked you up and down. You had to stop yourself rolling your eyes. 

“Wow, I bet you’re his hookup aren’t you? I mean after all you’re the man.” It felt dirty when the words left your mouth. 

“I could show you how much of a man I really am.” Rossi gave him a pissed look. 

“Jeez what’s with the sexy cop back cop routine-” 

It was something warm. You couldn’t see it cause your eyes were closed. Opening your eyes again Fahey wasn’t there. Looking down you saw him in a pool of his own blood. He was shot right through the heart. 

Rossi yelled. You couldn’t hear him, but he grabbed you and pulled you to the floor. His eyes were still open. He was dead but his eyes were still open. 

Rossi pulled you to the door as shoved you through it. He guided you back into the police station and in a seat. He muttered something about getting a towel to clean the blood. 

Your ears were still ringing when Aaron crouched down in front of you. Behind him was Derek. This hadn’t been the first time someone died in front of you, with this job it certainly wasn’t gonna be the last. 

“What happened?” His voice was so soft you almost missed it. 

“We were just talking- it happened so fast.” You were looking at Aaron but your mind was somewhere else. 

Rossi came back with some napkins and a new shirt in hand. Aaron took them and walked you to a bathroom. 

“Hey,” He grabbed your hand trying to get your attention. “Everythings ok.” 

“The only connection we had to finding Emily is dead, how is that ok.” You breathed out. 

“Because we know that Doyle is a family annihilator we just have to find out what Emily's role is.” He finished wiping off the blood on your face. “Hands up.” You lifted your hand and he pulled your shirt off. 

You pull the new shirt down your head. After adjusting to it you were met with his eyes. They were soft. 

“We will find her.” He cupped your cheeks and placed a small kiss on your lips. 

“I hope so.” 

~~~~~

Penelope found an address of a warehouse. Doyle had a son and there was a high chance Emily was the only one that knew. 

“What look at these pictures.” Penelope said, bringing back your attention. She pulled up the picture of Delcan being held at gunpoint. 

The Gun.

The hand. 

The nails. 

“Reid look.” You point to the hand. He didn’t say anything. 

“It’s someone holding a gun.” Derek said from behind you. 

“Look at the nails.” Penelope's breath hitched and your left Derek posture changed. 

“Let’s go.” Aaron said. You all followed him to the SUVs. 

~~~~~

The warehouse looked huge. It would take forever to clear it. 

“Agent Prentiss is the only friendly in the building. rescuing her as our primary objective.” Aaron spoke to the group of SWAT agents. 

“Our only advantage here is stealth. Once they know we’re on site, there’s nothing to stop them from killing her. So we keep it quiet until we get to her.” Derek said. 

Every spilt up. You went with Derek through the back entrance. 

The SWAT agent took out one of the guards that stood on the ramp. You and Derek walked in first, guns drawn. 

After turning down each hallway it got darker and darker if it was even possible. Then the lights were shut off. It was pitch black. You heard the sound of smashing. 

It sounded like something fell. You and Derek looked at each and moved closer to where it was coming from. 

Derek had directed you to go down one hallway while we went down the other. Half the SWAT team was close behind you. After clearing the room and the end of the hall you heard Derek yell your name. 

You ran. 

You stood in the doorway of the door in shock. Emily was on the floor bleeding out. Derek was hovering over her. 

One of the SWAT members calls for a medic. 

“Y/N what do we do?” Derek asked. You hadn’t moved from your spot. 

“Y/N!” He yelled. 

You rushed over to Emily’s other side. Her pulse was weak, but it was there. You saw there was still a lot of blood spilling out. 

“Emily, this is gonna hurt like hell but I need to do it.” You said knowing she probably couldn’t hear you. 

You press your hands around the wooden steak that was coming out of her abdomen. You put as much pressure as you could to try and stop the bleeding. 

She groaned loudly. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” You repeated. 

You ignored the tears falling from your eyes and held your hands to her stomach. 

“Where is the medic!” Derek yelled. 

You looked to her face, her eyes were half shut. Her skin was paler then it usually was. She looked weak. 

“Let me go.” She whispered. 

“No, no. I am not letting you go.” Derek said and squeezed her hand tighter. “Help me!” He yelled again. 

“I am so proud of you Emily, you understand that. I am proud of you because you are my friend, and you are my partner.” Derek said. Emily rolled her head back and shut her eyes. 

“No Emily please.” You begged. 

The sound of people running in didn’t pull you away from Emily. Derek had to come around to lift you to your feet. You watched as the paramedics wheeled her out of the room. 

You held out your hands as they started shaking. You felt the ground under your feet shirt. Derek wrapped his arms around to your front to keep you up right. 

_She’s gonna be ok_

~~~~~

At the hospital there were no words. No one had spoken for the almost hour you had been there.There hadn’t been an update the whole time.

You had in the chair with you back to the wall and your legs to your chest. Aaron on one side and Derek on the other. 

Every few minutes you could see Emily's eyes close and feel her body go limp. 

Your lips start to tremble at the memory. 

Aaron was trying his best to calm you down. 

Derek was like stone. He hadn’t shown any emotion since leaving the warehouse. 

Rossi had been walking up and down the rows of seats. 

Reid rocked back-and-forth in his seat. 

Penelope would burst out cry every so often and you would go over to hold her. 

JJ had left to get an update but hasn’t come back. 

You slowly moved to place your feet on the ground. You need to feel something steady. You reach out your hand to find Aaron’s. He takes your hand in his. He brushes his thumb across the back of your hand. 

From the corner of your eye you see someone stop. You lift your head to see JJ standing in front of everyone. 

Her eyes were glossed over. She looked to the floor trying to find the right words. 

Your heart sank already knowing what she was gonna say. You squeeze Aaron’s hand and start to hyperventilate. 

“She never made it off the table.” She finally spoke. 

It was like a dam was breaking. 

_Emily was gone_


	19. Grief

3 days 

It’s been 3 days since Emily died and nothing felt right. You hadn’t found the will power to get out of bed. Today was no different. 

When you rolled over in your bed you expected Aaron to be laying next to you, but you were met with a cold blanket. 

You lay on your stomach and pull the blanket up so your head was under the cover. Just before you fall asleep again you hear the door open. He climbs into bed next to you, pulling the sheet over his head so he can see your face. 

“Good morning.” His voice was still raspy but his breath smelled like coffee. 

“Morning.” You said hardly above a whisper. 

“Do you want something to eat?” He asked and pulled you close to his chest. You shook your head and wrapped your body around him. 

He had been the only thing holding you upright. 

~~~~~

_It felt wrong leaving her. Just getting on a plane and leaving her. But you did it. You got on the jet sat with your thoughts for the hour and a half flight._

_Aaron let your into the house first. Without even realizing it you walked into his office. You dropped your bag couch. Turning around you stopped before walking into his desk._

_The pictures._

_There were pictures of him and Jack. You and him. Even you and Jack. But one was of the whole team. It was karaoke night, you somehow convinced Emily to go up and sing with you._

_Inhaling sharply you fall to your knees. You hadn’t allowed yourself to cry in front of everyone. A loud sob escapes your lips, you try to muffle it by converting your mouth. With your other hand you clench your stomach._

_There were hands on your sides, bring you to stand. He holds your head to his chest not caring that his shirt is going to be stained. He tightened his grip on you as he moved you to his room._

_He backed you up into the bed and allowed you to sit on your side. He kneed down in front of you and started to take off your shoes. You were still regaining your breath when you started to take your blazer off._

_Yours eyes were still glossed over when he looked into them. You cupped his cheeks to keep his face steady._

_“Don’t ever leave.” Your words were heavy. “Please.”_

_“I’m not going anywhere.” He placed a light kiss on your forehead. He guided you to put your head on the pillow._

_You clenched your tear stained pillow, as if your life depended on it. You somehow managed to calm yourself down and fall asleep._

_~~~~~_

You had turned around so your back was to the door. The hood of one of Aaron’s old sweaters was tied around your head. The blanket pulled up to your chin. You hadn’t moved all day. 

There was a knock on the door. There was a muffled voice on the other side- it wasn’t Aaron. The door open and closed but you hadn’t moved to see who it was. 

A pair of shoes came into visions. You followed them up to see the face. 

Derek Morgan 

“Hey.” He crouched down so your faces were on the same level. 

“Hi.” You whispered. 

“So boss man tells me you haven’t gotten outta bed in a couple-a-days.” He tilts his head. “How many days?”

“I’ve gotten up to shower, besides that I haven't felt since we got back.” It sounded more embarrassing when you said it out loud. 

“Y/N, the funeral is tomorrow. You gotta get up.” 

“I know.” You sniffled back your tears. 

“She won’t want you to be like this.”

“I know.” You repeated. 

He stopped when he saw a tear roll down. You pulled the blanket up to cover the rest of your face.

_Just breathe_

After taking a few deep breaths, you move the blanket back down. 

“I always thought she was too stubborn to die.” You laugh. Derek lets out a small laugh and grabs the chair that sat in the corner of the room. 

“I think we all thought the same thing.” 

“It doesn’t feel real yet.” You watched him fidget with his hands. 

“It’s not going too for a while, after I lost my dad I always thought he was gonna walk through the door again.” 

“She’s your guys first.” He stated. 

“What?” It didn’t make sense. 

“You and Pretty Boy, she’s the first person you guys have lost that you cared deeply for.” 

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

The room fell silent. The only sound was him tapping his foot. It looked like he was waiting for you to speak. So you did. 

“I keep replaying the last conversation I had with her.” You started. 

“And?” 

“It was a stupid fight.” 

“Y/N.” He was trying to get you to stop. 

“If I just kept my mouth shut it wouldn’t have happened.” Your bottom lip starts to tremble. 

“Don’t try to make yourself feel more shitty then you already do, it’s not gonna help.” 

“I know, I know. It was just the last thing I said to my best friend.” 

“Well I’m still here.” He gave you a cheeky smile. 

You actually smiled. “You’re my bitch.” You whispered not thinking he could hear you. 

“Yes I am.” He confirmed. “Ok you need to get up.” He stood from the chair and stepped over to the bed. 

“I can’t.” 

“You smell. Get up.” He said.

You groaned and rolled over so his back was facing you. He wasn’t having it. He got a grip on the blanket and ripped it off you. You whine when your legs hit the air. 

Finally finding the courage, you sit up. Swinging your legs over the bed Derek reached his hand out. You lift your hand to take his and he helps you up. 

Your body starts to tip over as you try and regain your balance. You start walking over to the bathroom when the door opens again. 

“You're up.” Aaron smiles. Without saying anything you wrap your arms around him. 

“I’m sorry I’ve been a mess.” You said into his chest. 

“You don’t need to apologize.” He said and kissed your head that was still covered by the hood. 

Both of them found their way back to the kitchen as you took a shower. It had gotten easier to stand on your own 2 feet. You let the cold water run through your hair. Ever since you started this job coffee didn’t have the same effect on you as it used to, so a cold shower was the only thing that could do it. 

After drying off your body and taking all the loose water out of your hair, you put on a new shirt and joggers. It may be the middle of summer but it was always cold in the house. When you open the door to walk into the kitchen you saw Derek was still there.

“What the hell are you still doing here?” You asked and wrapped your arms around yourself realizing it was a lot colder then you had thought. 

“I wanted to make sure you didn’t land back in bed.” You couldn’t blame him, you probably would’ve if you were at your house. 

“You haven’t kicked him out yet?” You asked Aaron and walked over to stand next to him. 

“He’s very insistenting.” Aaron said. 

“I bet he is.” You nudge your head towards the door. You say something about walking him back to his car. 

You walked him down the 3 flights of stairs and into the parking lot. 

“How are you not sweating your ass off in those joggers?” Derek asked. 

“I’m special.” You shrugged. You both stopped at his car. 

“Promise me you won’t get back into bed once I leave.” His face was serious, no time for joking around but you didn’t care. 

“How else am I going to sleep?” You asked. He tilted his head and raised his eyebrows. “I promise.” 

“Thank you.” He said and pulled you into a hug. “Things are gonna get better.” You nodded your head against his chest. When he finally let you go and you wiped the tears from your eyes. 

You watched as he got into his car and pulled out of the parking spot. You waved by as he drove away. Wrapping your arms around yourself you looked to where his car once was. 

_Things are gonna get better_

His words were repeating in your head. That statement seems so impossible. But you’ve been in the state of mind when you thought nothing was going to get better, look at you now. An amazing boyfriend who loves you and his kid who loves you more than his father does. 

After taking a second to collect yourself you started to make your way back upstairs. Through all the other cars. Up the long sidewalk- and to the door. Walking back up the 3 flights of stairs and to the front door. You knock and we’re met with a smiling Aaron. 

“Welcome back.” He says and moved to the side for you to come inside. 

“Thank you.” You said and clung to his side. He shut the door and wrapped his arms around you. 

“For what?” He asked. 

“For calling Derek.” You looked up at him. 

“I figured you could use a best friend.” He kissed the top of your head. 

“I love you.” You blurted out. “I know I don’t say it as much as I should, but the people I say it to tend to leave and-”

“Hey hey hey, slow down, slow down.” He lifted your chin with his finger. “I love you too, and you don’t need to say it cause I know.” He placed a kiss on your lips. 

“I do need to say it cause people get hit by cars, they get shot, they get stabbed with wooden stakes. I want you to know what I know before I can’t say it anymore.” Your voice started to crack and he held you closer. 

“Ok.” 

~~~~~

The next day was Emily’s funeral. It felt like the weight of everything was on you. You were giving her eulogy. It was surprising when JJ asked you. 

You thought it would’ve been JJ or Derek seeing as they’ve known her longer. 

There was so much you wanted to say but so little time. In the 2 years you knew Emily there were so many memories you had of her. But you had to do this. 

You walked up the podium that was above Emily's casket. It was closed because she had so many bruises from her face. You were secretly happy it was closed, you wouldn’t be able to contain yourself if you saw her again. 

“Thank you all for coming.” You started and looked out into the crowd of people. “Words were me and Emily’s thing. There are many words you could use to describe her but weak wasn’t one of them, stubborn as hell but not weak.” There was a laugh from the crowd. 

“She was one of the most courageous people I knew. She wasn’t afraid of anything. In retrospect that’s probably not the best thing. But that didn’t stop her from always being there, never stop her from being a great listener. It could range from advice about a guy to what to wear to a big meeting. Don’t get me started on her ability to pull off a pants suit.” More laughs. 

“Now I know I’m supposed to talk about all the amazing memories we shared but there’s too many. To be honest I think she would roll around in her grave if she knew I told them to the general public. But I digress, Emily Prentiss was an amazing human being and an even better best friend, and she will be deeply missed.” 

You found your way back to your seat between Aaron and JJ. 

“You did great.” He said and squeezed your thigh. You gave him a small smile and tried your best not to cry. 

_Things are gonna get better._


	20. Undercover

It had been almost a month since Emily's funeral.

While briefing there was always one chair next to you that was left open. But things were starting to get back to normal.

Looking forward to things was the only thing that kept you going. You and Aaron’s anniversary was in a few months. Christmas and New Year's were getting closer.

But it was that time of the year where everyone had to test for their gun qualification. You had been sitting in some room that was in the basement of the building for hours. Watching people come up and shoot at a piece of paper. Naming various limbs was starting to get annoying.

You had already passed the other members of the other teams you oversee. You walked back into the little office and called Aaron's office line.

“Hotchner.” He answered.

“Can you bring your sweet self, and the rest of the profilers down here.” You smiled

“Yes, ma’am.” He said and hung up. You made your way to the hallway. You sat in the open chairs that were lined up against the wall. Flipping through papers and checking old scores you saw Emily still had her sheet. You took it out from between the other papers and walked it over to the trash can.

“Have been down here in a while,” JJ said.

“Yeah, it gets dusty.” You said and looked around the hall. You gestured for everyone to take a seat.

“You all know how this goes. I’ll tell you to unholster your gun and tell you what to shoot. You pass, you walk away with a gun, you don’t pass, you come back in a week.” Everyone nodded along. You gestured for JJ to follow you into the room.

You watched as she put on the glasses and earmuffs. She was waiting for you to speak and soon you did.

“Left-arm.” You shouted and soon heard a loud gunshot.

You should be used to this by now cause you’ve been doing this all day.

After she finishes you give her your score and ask her to bring in Derek. He repeats the whole process and he passes too.

You had been training Spencer for a while because he wasn’t the best shot. He had been doing better, just enough to pass.

“You did well.” You said and took off the earmuffs.

“What did I get?” He asked and walked over to you.

“All you need to know is you did well.”

“You tend to sugar coat things, so just give me a number.” He looks over to your clipboard. You hold it against your body.

“78.” He lets out a deep breath. “You were off some times, and when I said lower stomach you shot his junk, and I don’t remember teaching you that.”

“I think it's the only thing I’ve failed at.” He hung his head.

“You didn’t fail-”

“But I barely passed.”

“You don’t need to retake it, look at it like that.”

He sighed and nodded his head. Putting a hand on his shoulder you walked him back to the hall. You watched as he walked to the elevator.

Once he was out of your eye line your eye fell to Aaron who was the only person left.

“Come on.” You said and he followed you in. He had a devilish smirk on his face.

“Don’t look at me like that.” You said and took your seat in the corner.

“Look at you like what?” He asked and walked over to you.

“You know the look.” He snaked his arms around your sides.

“I don’t.”

“The ‘I'm gonna bend you over right here’ look.”

His eyes never left yours when he pulled you close to his chest. You wanted to kiss him so bad. But you two had strict rules about PDA at work. Ever since that day Emily walked in on you two.

He gave you a disappointed face when he stepped away. You straighten out your back telling him you were serious. He moved to the station.

It wasn’t hard to stay professional, it was a lot easier when there was a gun in his hand.

“Good job.” You said and he holstered his gun.

“What did I get?” He asked and walked back to you.

“You passed and that’s all you need to know.” You take out all the papers from the clipboard. Before you had a chance to take them out of reach he snatched them from your hand.

“99? Really?” He laughed.

“I don’t make the rules.” You said and took the papers back.

You both walked back to the elevator together. His hand was on your back. When you stopped and the elevator door, he wrapped himself around you. His arms coming around to your front.

Finally giving yourself a minute to relax. It seems like the past month went by in the blink of an eye. You all have been working nonstop. You were only home long enough to wash your clothes and maybe have a full meal.

Derek had come to you one day talking about finding Doyle and of course, you were on board. So keeping a huge secret from Aaron may be causing you to feel the weight of the world on your shoulders. But you need to know now the man you killed your best friend is going to be caught. So throughout most days, you would sneak to Derek's office to talk with him and Penelope. 

“Why are you so tense?” You were so caught up in your thought you hadn’t noticed he was rubbing your shoulders. 

“I have so much to do and it feels like I haven’t slept in my bed for 2 weeks when I know that’s where I was last night.” You shut your eyes and enjoy his touch. 

“Yeah, I was there I remember. You were wearing a tank top and no bra.” He kissed your neck. “And if I remember correctly you were only wearing underwear.” He brought his lips to your neck again. 

“Can you blame me, it constantly feels like it’s 80 degrees.” 

“That’s why I said come home with me.” He turns you in his arms so you're facing him. He lifts your chin with his finger. He brings his lips as lightly as possible. 

The sound of the elevator door dinging brought your two back to earth. 

“I don’t know why I don’t listen.” You said stepping inside the elevator. He followed right behind you. 

You had agreed to go back to his house because he keeps it much colder, and in this weather, it doesn’t sound half bad. 

The ride up was a good kinda silence. You were just enjoying the fact that he was with you. 

When you reach your floor, you see that no one walked back to their desks. They were in a small huddle by the glass door. Before you had a chance to ask what they were doing Penelope came bursting out of her office. 

She was stomping in her 5-inch heels. 

“How bad is it?” You asked. 

“These pictures- I’ve lost all faith for the people in Florida.” Everyone laughed as she walked past. 

“How was she hired again?” You asked jokingly. 

“It was either hire her or arrest her,” Aaron said and started walking to the bullpen. 

“Wait what?!” You followed him. Everyone that was behind you started laughing.

_Penelope getting arrested. No._

No one was answering your question. They just kept laughing. You walked up the stairs and turned your attention to Penelope. 

“Is it true you were arrested?” You asked

Her eyes widened. 

“3 bodies have been found in Miami, Florida in the past 2 weeks.” She ignored your question. “They were all found severely beaten. Most of the bruises from on there’s the stomach.” The pictures of the girls popped up on the tv. 

“Where were they found?” Derek asked. 

“The alleyway of a factory. They were found by workers around the same time.” She said and took a seat. 

“Was it the same factory?” You asked but she shook her head. 

“So he wasn’t targeting a company or the CEO,” Derek said and took a sip of his coffee. 

“He has a type.” Reid pointed to the pictures. 

They all looked like you. Same colored hair. Same figure. Not again. 

“Yeah…me.” You said mostly to yourself. But when you looked up everyone was looking at you. Aaron was not amused. 

“They were all last seen at a local bar, their friends said they were going to meet there,” Penelope said. 

_Fuck they do look like me. The last time there was a case with girls that looked like me, 8 found out my piece of shit ex was assaulting other girls._

_I could’ve stopped it. Just because I got out doesn’t mean he was gonna stop with me. I know that. I know offenders will find another target. But I still didn’t say anything._

_Those girls could still be alive if I had reported him._

_But who would’ve believed me? I put on such an act that even I started to think I was happy._

_I could’ve saved those girls from their suffering._

“Wheels up in 30.” Aaron stood up from his seat and everyone soon followed. 

You picked up the pictures you had been staring at. 

“You ok?” Penelope asked. 

“Yeah.” You put on the best smile you could. She bought it. She walked out the back going to meet with Derek. 

Keeping your head down you walked across the catwalk to your desk. Someone was watching you. You didn’t try to find the eyes, just kept your head down. 

“Do you wanna sit this one out?” Aaron whispered. You didn’t hear him come done from his office. 

“I can handle it.” You weren’t looking you him, which told him everything he needed to know. 

“I didn’t ask if you could handle it, I asked if you wanted to sit this one out.” 

“I can do my job.” 

That was the best answer he was gonna get and he knew it. He watched you for another second then walked away. Letting your shoulders fall you grab your go-bag. 

Thankfully it was only Derek who was waiting for the elevator. 

“You ready for hot and sunny Miami?” He asked. 

“Not when you wear slacks and a blazer all day.” You gestured to your clothes. 

“Yeah, you're gonna melt.” He smiled. 

The ride to the airport was very quiet but you didn’t mind it. The flight was 2 long hours. Your thoughts were filled with regret. 

_He’s in jail, stop letting him control your life._

You played chess with Reid and let him win. He noticed the win was too easy so you kept playing. But when you beat him he wouldn’t accept it. 

When he was going through the game in his head, the plane took a turn and the chessboard slid off the table. You laughed as he pouted at the fallen pieces. 

“We’ll play on the way back.” You smiled and helped him pick everything up. 

When the plane landed you could feel the heat coming through the window. When you stepped off is when you felt it. 

“Yeah, I can’t do this.” You said and slipped out of your blazer. Everyone laughed. “Hey, I grew up in Connecticut where it snowed half of the time and summers weren’t that hot.” 

Everyone packed away in the cars. Thankfully the police station wasn’t that far. 

Spencer groaned when he stepped out of the car. “Is it always this hot.” 

“Everyday all day,” Derek said and pulled his sunglasses to the tip of his nose as he watched two girls walk by. 

“Don’t be a perv.” You slapped his arm. There was laughter but it wasn’t from anyone on the team. You looked up and saw some lady. 

“FBI?” Her attention was already on Derek. 

“Yes.” 

“Detective Lopez Miami P.D.” She reached her hand and Derek happily took it. 

“Morgan. Derek.” He had his smirk. 

“Tina.” 

_Oh god_

Her attention finally left Derek to face Aaron. 

“Agent Hotchner.” He shook her hand. “These are Agents Jareau, Rossi, and Morgan. These are Drs. Reid and L/N.” You and Reid waved. 

“I hope there’s not a test cause I’m lousy with names.” She said and her eyes landed back on Derek. 

_This should be fun._

_~~~~~_

“Let’s get back to this tomorrow.” 

You and Reid and finally nailed down a geographic profile when Aaron called it a night. The profile was going to be given to the police tomorrow morning. 

You hated to admit it but this guy was good. No trace, even having been to a bar. Penelope couldn’t get an angle on the security cameras. 

When it came to being in hotel rooms you and Aaron had come to an agreement that you take the first shower. He didn’t mind because he went over files again, even though there was nothing new.

You walk out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped tightly around you. You walk over to the side of the bed and grab shorts and a shirt. 

You heard him stand from the little desk in the front of the room, but you didn’t both to look up. From the corner of your eye you saw him stand next to you. 

When you turn to face him, his eyes are soft. He kissed your forehead and grabbed his bag. It was just a small gesture but you felt your face get hot and your eyes fill. 

_I must be getting my period._

You threw on your clothes and flopped on the bed. Flipping through channels, passing all the news stations. You were tired of seeing dead bodies. Giving up on the tv you stare out the balcony. 

_It’s too hot._

Seeing palma trees move against the wind, you take that as an invitation to go out. 

You unlock the door and step out. The rubber mat in the floor felt weird against your bare feet. You walked to the railing and looked out to the lit up city. 

_At least it cools down at night._

You start to rub your thumbs together as you cloud your minds with your thoughts. 

A car honking blew you is what brought you back to earth. You shake your head and exhale deeply. 

Bringing your hand to your face you rub your eyes realizing how tired you actually were. You were about to turn around when you felt some creep up behind you. 

Balling your hands into a fist you turn on your heels. Being your hand mid air it was stopped. 

“Hey.” Aaron’s voice was muffled. Your eyes were on his but you hadn’t processed what was happening. 

He squeezes your hand lightly. 

“Oh shit.” You whispered to yourself. “I’m so sorry.” You were starting to choke on your words. 

“It’s ok.” He wrapped your arm around him to bring you closer. His hand cradled the back of your head. Your forehead rested on his shoulder as you let out a sob. 

You let out weak apologies but he didn’t say anything, just held you tighter. 

_What the fuck is wrong with you._

He started to back up into the room. You opened your eyes when you felt the carpet under your feet. 

Your legs hit the back of the bed. You sat down and hung your head trying to catch your breath. The bed dipped as he sat next to you. He rubbed circles on your back. 

Licking your lips and exhaling deeply you lift your head. He had been watching you closely. 

“I’m fine.” You said before he had a chance to ask. 

He raised his eyebrows and did not believe a word you said. 

Even though he didn’t believe you, he didn’t say anything. He knew pushing you to talk wasn’t going to do any good. 

Once he felt you stop shaking he motioned for you to lay on the bed. You laid back on top of the covers. He shut off the light next to you and walked to his side of the bed. 

“Can you do me a favor?” You asked. 

“Anything.” He didn’t hesitate. 

“Can you lay on top of me?” He couldn’t hide your confusion. 

“What?” 

“To help settle the nervous system.” You explained but he was still confused. 

“So a hug?” 

“Yeah but it’s constant pressure.” You opened up your arms. 

“I would crush you.” He said and laid down next to you. 

Yet your arms were still open. After a second of watching you he knew you weren’t going to keep asking, so he gave in. 

He didn’t put his whole body on you even after you reassured him he wasn’t going to crush you. His head was on your chest and his arms wrapped around you. 

This is all you needed. 

~~~~~ 

Another day had come and gone, a lot of progress had been made but a killer was still out there. 

If you guys had the timeline right he was going to take another girl today. Everyone had been doing there’s best to make that not happen. 

When 5 o’clock rolled around you were on your second redbull. After your first couple of months everyone stopped questioning your choices of caffeine. 

“I have a headache.” You fold your arms on the table and put your head in them. 

“It's because of all the caffeine you’re drinking.” Aaron said and took the cab from you. 

“I just opened that.” You tried to grab it before it was out of reach. 

There was a laugh from Rossi. He never understood caffeinated drinks. “Just drink coffee” is what he always said. The room fell silent as you walked up to the evidence board. 

The girls had been dumped a good distance away from each other. So he was going out of his way to hide himself. 

Victimology had been the same across the board. You could still see the girl's dead bodies covered in blood and bruises when you close your eyes. 

“We could send in Y/N.” JJ said breaking the silence. 

“No.” Aaron was the first to say something. 

“Aaron.” You said. 

You gestured for him to follow you out. You found an empty interrogation room. He walked in first and you shut the door behind you. 

“I’m not letting you go in there.” He said. 

“You have too, it’s the only way we’re gonna catch this guy.” 

“It’s too dangerous.” He was giving you his boss face. The crossed arms, emotionless face. 

“The overprotective thing is cute, but I need to do this.” You grab his hand. 

“This guy is dangerous.” 

“I know I’m working the case.” You smiled. 

“Not funny.” His face fell, if that was even possible. 

You mumbled an apology and reached your hands up to the back of his head. His hands wrapped around your sides. 

His eyes never left yours, his grip was tight. He was reading you so you stayed as calm as possible. 

“Everyone’s gonna be in a van right outside.” He said. 

“I know.” 

“And if anything goes wrong, we’ll be in there before you know it.” 

“I know.” You repeated. 

You couldn’t tell if he was trying to reassure you or him. You pulled his head down and placed your lips on his. 

“You do know I have the ability to take him done on my own right?” You asked when you pulled him back. 

“I know you can but-”

“Just kick him where the sun doesn't shine.” You smiled.

He didn’t say anything, he just laughed and pulled you close to him. You were gonna be ok, he wasn’t gonna let anything happen to you. 

He pushed you off so he could see your face again. Steady, calm, you weren’t scared. 

You both made you way back to where everyone else was. 

“I’m goin in.” You said and took your seat next to Derek. 

~~~~~ 

The only dress you had in your bag was only met for Aaron’s eyes but for the sake of the case you put it on. 

It was a black dress that hugged you in all the right places. It stopped about mid thigh, so

some bad things could happen if you bent over. 

The black heels that you slipped on lifted you up 3 inches. 

_I look kinda good._

When you left the locker room you felt all the eyes on you from the other officers. Hiding your face behind your hair you walked about to where everyone was. 

You set your bag down on one of the chairs. Smoothing out the front of your dress you pick your head up and shake the hair from your face. 

Everyone's eyes were on you. 

“What?” You looked across everyone. 

“Someone needs to tape boss mans mouth shut.” Penelope said from the computer. 

You look at Aaron and his mouth is slightly open. Your stomach started to flutter when he looked you up and down. 

“Take a picture, it'll last longer.” You whispered when you were finally in front of him. 

“We’ll give you guys a minute.” JJ said and walked out, everyone soon followed.

With no hesitation Aaron pulls you close to his chest and pulls you up for a kiss. You let out a small whimper when the grip on your hip tightens. 

“I’ve never seen this dress before.” He says and pulls his arm from around you to over your head. You spun under his fingers. 

“I was waiting for a good night to pull it out but… it didn’t happen.” You say and wrap your arms around him. 

He did look truly mesmerized at the sight of you.That looks soon faded when he remembered why you were all dressed up. 

“Are you sure about this?” He asked. 

“Yes I’m sure, just think about all the things I could do in the dress when we get back home.” You teased him by bringing his hand to you ass. 

“I’m serious.” He said but didn’t take his hand back.

“So am I.” You pulled his head to yours.

He couldn’t help but kiss you. You ran your fingers through his hair. His hands moved to your sides and guided your till you back was against a wall. You let out a moan when he pushed you against the wall harder. He pushed his knees between your legs. One of his hands dropped to the end of your dress and snaked it up. His breath hitched when you felt a thing string around your hip. 

“Don’t tell me you're wearing a thong.” He groaned. 

“Maybe I am.” You whispered in his ear. 

He let out another groan. You were leaning in to kiss him when there was a knock at the door. He stepped away from you and fixed the back of his hair. You smoothed out your dress and said come in. 

“I’d hate to break up whatever is going on in here but, you gotta start going.” JJ said and looked at you. You nodded and she shut the door. 

“Are you ready?” He asked and reached out his hand. 

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” You took his hand and you both walked out. 

~~~~~

Rossi was your taxi for the night. On the way to the bar he was telling you the do’s and don'ts of going undercover. This wasn’t the first time but you could never be too prepared. 

You said a quick by to Rossi and stepped out of the SUV. You walked into the bar feeling a little overdressed. 

“Oh I hope this thing is working.” You said into the mic. You didn’t have an earpiece so you couldn’t talk to the team but they sure as hell could hear you. 

You sat at the bar and ordered a soda. You took a sip and scanned the room. You feel eyes watching you, and not the good kind. There weren’t many people there. A few towards the back and some but the dart board and pool table. 

“He’s here I can feel it.” You said and took another sip. 

_Ok just act normal._

You heard your phone dig from inside your purse. You set down the cup and pulled it out. 

_Relax your shoulders and take a deep breath._

It was from Aaron, you looked up and the camera pointed in your direction. You let out a deep breath and adjusted your posture. 

You looked around again and saw a guy looking dead at you. He was leaning against a pool table with a beer in his hand. His eye fell to your chest and it took everything in you not the shake. 

You give him your best smile and slowly pull your bottom lip between your teeth. You rolled your straw between your fingers patiently waiting for him to walk over. When you look back up he was gone. 

_Fuck_

From the corner of your eye you saw someone lean against the counter. 

“How about I buy you a really drink.” He said and you slightly flinched when he spoke. “Didn’t mean to scare you hon.” 

You made a mental note to ask everyone to never call you hon or honey from now on. 

You hid your cheek behind your shoulder shyly. 

“I’m waiting for some friends so I think I’ll wait.” 

You ran your hand up your arm. He thought that was an invitation to lean closer and out his arm on your side. You try your best to lean into his touch. 

“One drink won’t hurt.” He said and flagged down the bartender and ordered you a martini. 

“You're trying to liquor me up and I don’t even know your name.” 

“Steven.” He said and took the stool next to you. “What's yours babe.” 

_There goes another name_

“Y/N.” You answered. 

“A good name for a good girl.” 

_I can’t believe I’m about to say this._

“I can show you how much of a good girl I can be.” You put a hand on his leg. 

“Really?” He watched the hand on his leg. You nodded and folded your lips together. 

Thanking the bartender for the drink you took a small sip. It probably wasn’t the best idea to drink it but you didn’t wanna seem suspicious. It didn’t taste funny, just a vodka martini. 

“So, got a boyfriend?” He asked. 

_Yes_. 

“No.” You smiled. “I don’t think anyone can handle all of me at once.” 

“I can be the first guy to prove you wrong.” His ego was so big. 

“You sound pretty confident.” You said. “How do I know you're not lying?” 

“I can prove it to you once you finish your drink.” He motioned the glass in your hand. You brought the glass to your lips again, your eyes staying on his. 

He was patient, willing to work for what he was getting. However his food was tapping the side of the chair. 

He asked you some very uncomfortable questions. But you feed his ego. 

You wanted nothing more to run out of the bar and into Aaron’s arms. But you still had to make an arrest. 

_I need a vacation after this._

He reached out his hand once you set the empty glass on the table. 

After taking a deep breath you walked behind him. Once outside you spotted the van where the team was. It was just across the street. 

He walked you around the corner of the bar. You were hesitant at first but you didn’t stop walking. He stopped when you rounded the corner. When he turned to face you he grabbed your side and threw you against the wall. Not the way Aaron had pinned your earlier.

The throw was harder than you thought. Your head hit the brick building causing an instant headache. Before you had a chance to react he punched your stomach. Again and again and again. 

He started to throw another punch but you grabbed his arms and twisted it behind his back. You threw him to the ground and pressed your heels into his calf. 

“You picked the wrong girl to fuck with.” You said and dug your heel in deeper. 

He tried to get out of your grip but you pulled his arms further up his back. There were loud footsteps getting closer. You left out a breath when you saw Aaron. 

Derek took your place and lifted the guy to his feet. The other officers took him to the car. 

“Are you ok?” Aaron’s hand was on your back. You turned your attention to him. With no hey you wrapped your arms around him. He didn’t think twice to hold you. 

He had draped his suit jacket around your shoulders. 

“Can we go home?” 

“Yeah, we can.” He kissed the top of your head. 

~~~~~ 

It was empty when all arrived back at the BAU. Desk lights off, computers shut down. Well maybe it wasn’t completely empty. Strauss stood by the doorway of Aaron’s office. 

“I told you we should’ve went straight to the cars.” Rossi said when he saw her. 

“Don’t tell me there's another one.” You said to Strauss and held your stomach. 

“There’s always another one, but it can wait for the morning. Go home.” She smiled. 

“Don’t need to tell me twice.” Everyone turned back and walked out. 

“Aaron can I speak to you for a moment?” Strauss said. You could tell there was a confused look on his face. 

“I’ll meet you in the car.” He said turning to you and handing you the car keys. 

You watched as he walked up to his desk. He closed the door behind him, the blinds were already shut. 

You walked over to your desk to collect some papers. 

The car ride home was quiet. His knuckles started to turn white because he was holding the steering wheel so tight. But he didn’t say anything and you weren’t going to force him. 

You sat on Aaron’s bed in one of his old law school sweaters. You had the case file already across the bed. Pictures, M.E reports- the works. 

“You do know I have an office down the hall right.” Aaron said as he walked into the door. 

“Mhm.” You were too busy reading that you didn’t pay attention to what he was saying. 

“You never use it.” He kept going. 

“Mhm.” 

“Whenever you're here you always work on the bed.” 

“Mmm.” 

"You noticed how my hair is blue?" 

"No it's not." You didn't even look up from the paper. He put his fingers under your chin and lifted so you were looking at him. 

"We need to talk." He said. 

Within a second your mood changed completely. You hadn’t expected this conversation to come up. 

Your heart started to pound out of your chest. He wasn’t giving you any sign that this was going to be a good conversation. 

Your whole life you always jumped to the worst conclusion. It’s one of your bad habits. 

“Ok.” You could barely hear your own voice.

“It’s about what Strauss wanted to talk to me about.” He put his hand on your leg. 

“Ok thank god.” You let out an audible breath. 

You started to put together the papers that were everywhere. He titles his head in confusion. 

“I thought we were about to have a very different conversation. Most likely going to end in my tears.” You put the file on the nightstand. 

“No.” The small smile he had formed was gone. “But I am leaving.” 

“What?” 

"She informed me that I am best fit to lead the investigative task force in Pakistan." He grabbed your hand. 

“I figured your name was on that list.” You rubbed your thumb across your hand. “Maria told me that I couldn't vote on it because I had a biased opinion.” 

“I don’t wanna leave, but I have too.” 

“I know, there’s a lot of work to get done over there. And you are the best at your job.” You poked his chest. 

“When do you leave?” You looked at your intertwined hands. 

“Next week.” 

_Fuck._

“Should’ve figured, they’ve been wanting to turn it around for a while.” 

He stayed quiet. He’s mind was going a mile a minute and you could see it in his eyes. 

“You want one last piece of ass for the road?” You both laughed. 

Your thumb brushed his cheek. Your eyes memorized every inch of his face. Pulling him in closer his lips were soft. You were going to miss this. 

His hand slid up your thigh to your hip and pulled your body under his. The first chance you had to breathe, he crawled between your legs. 

“Are you gonna miss this? Me spreading your legs.” His voice lanced through your body like a bolt of lightning, lighting every heightened sense on fire. He didn't have to wait for you to respond. 

"It's how you respond to my voice." Wrapping his strong arms around your thighs, he pinned them to the bed so you couldn't hide yourself from view.

The longer he spoke, the more and more you found it hard to breathe. Your chest was tight. You were already wet, but you could feel yourself getting wetter by the minute.

Your hips moved unintentionally, making contact with the bulge that was beginning to grow in the briefs Aaron was wearing, and no matter how many times the two of you have had sex, you will never get over the feeling of satisfaction that you're able to arouse him, even just by kissing.

Your hand snuck down his chest, pulling at the hem of his shirt indicating that you wanted it off. He sat up and rested on his knees while slipping the shirt over his head before he just sat for a second and took in the sight of you. You grew impatient, slipping off the sweater you had on and laying back down in front of him. 

Things moved slow from there on. Aaron took his time cherishing your body, planting kisses everywhere and anywhere. He slipped your panties off as he lowered his kisses down to your center.

He loved watching you fall apart under him, and that included hearing you unable to stop your moans, so when his lips finally began to suckle on your clit, you were long gone. 

The sounds you made came out unwillingly, while your hands wrapped around his head, not able to decide whether you wanted to push him to go further or pull him to give you a break from all the feelings, but his hands quickly moved to wrap around your wrists and hold them to your sides. You could feel him chuckle a bit, he knew what he was doing to you.

“I want you.” You whined out.

“Alright, alright,” he whispers out, giving your clit one last kiss before he sits back up and takes his briefs off.

He raised an eyebrow when saw you were kneeling on the bed. 

“You are going to lay here, and let me do all the work.” He didn’t argue, because why would he. 

He laid down, you swung your leg to the other side of his hip. His hands found themselves all over you, not knowing whether to grab your hips or waist or breasts, so he figured why not take some time to grab them all.

You lifted up enough to grab his length, before slowly dropping down onto it. With the time that it has been, it’s like you’ve forgotten just how big he is, but the feeling of you stretching out around him was an otherworldly experience. Your hands dropped to his chest as you finally sat flush on him, short breaths escaping your mouth while his head tipped back and his hands stilled at holding your waist in place.

He moaned, tilting his head back down to look at you. That was enough for you to habitually start to move your hips. Your hair fell over your shoulders. 

You both moaned before you took action and placed your mouth on his. You felt like you could kiss him forever, enveloping all of his moans, and hearing every little thing he has to say to you when he’s in his own world of satisfaction.

It didn’t take long for the both of you to come, in fact you were surprised it lasted as long as it did considering how long it’s been since you’ve had sex, but nonetheless you cherished the feeling and sight of him coming undone underneath you as you recovered from your own orgasm, really admiring the man underneath you.

You sat up a bit, letting him slowly slip out of you, before you settled back down to sit on his lower stomach again. His hands found themselves running circles on your thighs while he attempted to catch his breath. 

You swung your leg back over and laid next to him. 

“I’m gonna miss that.” You turned on your side. 

“I am too.” He pulled you into his chest. 

_I’m_ _gonna miss him._


	21. Skype Call

It's been almost 3 months since Aaron left and nothing felt right. Whenever you got home it was quiet. 

The amount of work you’ve been doing is insane. You've been pulling 12-13 hour shifts for a couple of weeks. You would go home more tired than the previous day. Today was one of those days. 

When you finally got in your car you could feel the ache in your feet start. You debated if you should take your shoes off or not. Before you could decide against it your phone was ringing. 

_Skype call from Aaron._

You accepted the call as you pulled out of the parking garage. You were met with his face. He had started to grow a beard and you weren’t against it. 

“Hi.” You smiled and placed your phone on the dashboard. 

“Hi. Where are you?” He couldn’t see you only from the street lights. 

“In the car, I’m going home.” You lifted your hand to the clip that was in your hair. You unclipped it and threw it in the direction of your purse. 

“Isn’t it 10 o’clock over there?” He asked. The time zone thing caused a lot of headaches but you both made it work. 

“9:47.” You corrected. 

“And you're just going home now?” 

“Yeah, JJ isn’t supposed to come back for another couple of weeks, so we’re down 3 agents.” You rested your arm on the middle console. 

“What about the full-ins?” 

“The full-ins are interns that have only been with the bureau for a week and don’t know where the filing room is.” He laughed at your annoyance. 

“Weren't you an intern?” He asked.

“Yeah but I’m me so I don’t think that counts.” 

His face was clear on your phone. It was hard to see his dimples from the growing beard. You missed poking them whenever he smiled. 

“I miss you.” You said softly, you didn’t even think he could hear you. 

“I miss you too. We’re trying to get things turned around fast but they had nothing when I got here.” 

“I know.” You said. From the corner of your eye, you could see his eyebrows were together. 

“We get consistent updates about open tasks forces to make sure our resources are in the right places.” You explained and he nodded along. 

“For example, I know that right now you're _supposed_ to be reorganized officers, but you're talking to me instead.” You stopped at a red light and looked to your phone just in time to see him holding up a clipboard. 

“I finished and I called you cause I haven’t talked to you for 3 days.” He defended. 

It had been a long 3 days since you guys had talked. Even when he did call it couldn’t last for long. You knew that he had major work to do and so did you. But you missed just hearing his voice. 

The longest you went without talking was close to 2 weeks. It may not seem like a long time, but going from seeing each other every day to not talking for two weeks was driving you crazy. 

The two of you had been together for the last week he had. Which made it harder to watch him leave. 

But knowing that he was there- even though it may be on the phone- made you feel better. 

“You know you're supposed to drive with both hands on the wheel right?” He said. 

“Yeah I know, but it doesn’t matter anymore because I’m home.” You put the car in park and turned on the car light. You leaned over the center console to try and look for the clip that you threw. 

“You got home that fast?”

“It's gonna be 10 o’clock on a Tuesday, no one's up and about.” You smiled and found the clip on the floor of the passenger side. You grabbed it and started to fix your hair again. 

“Besides you.” He clarified. 

“Besides me.” You grabbed all the files that were spilling out of your bag. Finally grabbing your phone you started to make your way to your apartment. 

When you got upstairs you dropped everything at the front door and walked straight into your room. You let out a loud groan when you threw yourself onto your bed. 

“You ok over there?” You could hear the smile in his voice. 

“Yeah.” You forced yourself to sit up. You stood and placed your phone up on the dresser so he could see you moving around the room. You went to the bathroom to start the water for your shower. 

“Is that my sweater on the bed?” He asked. You turned to your bed and saw the sweater that you had stolen from his house. 

About a week after he left, the clothes that he has at your house didn’t smell like him. So one day after getting back from a case, you drove to Aaron's house and rated his closet. Also successfully stealing- borrowing his cologne. 

Thankfully that's what was holding up your phone. 

“Uh,” You walked over to your phone and moved it so he was looking at the ceiling.” No.” You went to the bed and threw the sweater in your closet. 

“That was my college hoodie.” He said. 

“No, it was not.” I picked your phone back up. 

“Then what was it?” 

“That was my _new_ boyfriend's sweater,” you joked. “I was waiting till you got back to tell you.” He didn’t question you, he just laughed. 

“Where did you get it? I don’t remember leaving it at your place.” 

“I may have ransacked your closet a few days after you left.” You clarified. 

“I figured it would happen sooner or later.” He shrugged and smiled. 

“What do you want me to do? I miss you.” 

“I miss you too, I’ll get back as soon as I can.” 

The want for him to be laying next to you again was so bad. Truth be told the only reason you had been staying at work late was that you didn't want to walk into an empty home. That’s besides all the crazy amount of work to do. 

Before you could say anything else you heard some yelling from the other side of the phone. It was muffled but it caught Aaron’s attention. 

“Hold on.” He stepped away from the phone and walked to where the voice was coming from. 

You distracted yourself by getting the things for your shower ready. You were spraying his cologne on his sweater when he came back into the frame. Once you hear his voice you hide your arms behind your back. 

You didn’t think he saw anything, but then he gave you a knowing look. You called it the _I-know-exactly-what-you’re-doing_ look. 

“I have to go.” He said bluntly. Your face instantly fell. 

You nodded trying to find the words. “Be safe.” That was all you could come to say. 

You couldn’t didn’t have the will power to hang up the phone and neither did he. The two of you just say in silence for another minute. There was another yell and Aaron quickly grabbed his phone. 

“Ok, I have to go.” He said 

“Bye.” 

“Bye.” And just like that, he was gone.

“I love you.” You said to your locked phone. 

After taking a deep breath you grabbed your phone and walked to your bathroom. 

~~~~~ 

When you opened your eyes you heard your phone ringing. You uncurl yourself from the blanket and reach to your night stand. 

“What?” You answered. 

“Good you're awake.” Derek's voice was cherry.

“Actually I’m not.” You groaned and rolled over in your bed. Your hand fell to the empty spot where Aaron used to lay. 

“Get ready.” 

“Get ready for what? The suns not even up.” You pulled the phone from your ear to see the time. 

_6:45_

“Derek it’s 6:45.” You threw your face into a pillow. 

“I know what time it is and we’re gonna go for a run before the sun comes up.” 

“Why would we do that?” You didn’t sound enthusiastic. 

“Because I checked the time you got on your mile, and you went from a 5:38 to a 6:49, and I won’t allow that.” 

“Derek I have enough case hours so I don’t have to even have to do the mile.” 

“I know that, but if you’re going to continue to be my partner you need to step it up and I’m here to help.” You could tell he was smiling through the phone. 

“But it’s too early.” You complained again.

Before you could give an actual reason there was a knock at your door. You chuckled knowing to damn well it was him. 

“Your kidding me right?” You asked anyway. 

“Come on.” You heard a yell from the door. 

You reluctantly got out of bed to answer the door. You were met with an overall happy Derek who was wearing a muscle t-shirt and gym shorts. 

“Go away.” You said. 

“Never.” He walked into your apartment. 

There was no way you were gonna get out of this so you went to go change. You found a pair of leggings that you were going to die in. You threw on an old shirt that you didn’t care if it got dirty. 

When you walked out of your room you saw Derek standing in the kitchen. You walked past

him and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge.

“Let's get this over with.” You said and walked to your door. 

“What no water bottle for me?” He hadn’t moved from his spot. 

“You wake me up at 6:45, you chose dehydration.” You said and waited for him to walk out of your apartment. 

Derek was focused on the road and you were watching the sunrise. It was taking everything in you to keep your eyes open. 

You clearly didn’t have time to drink your coffee. And there was a high chance you would be in too much of a rush go make some before heading to the office. The coffee at the office wasn’t the best but it did the job. 

“You look exhausted.” He said. 

“Oh you really do know a way to a girl's heart.” You smiled. 

“I’m sorry.” He laughed. “I mean it’s just looked like you haven’t slept. Especially because you’ve been working late.” 

“How do you know I’ve been working late?” 

“One night I forgot a file and went back to the office. I saw you at your desk, but I didn’t dare tell you to go home.” 

“Wise man.” You rested your head on the back of the seat. 

“Y/N, you need to get some sleep.” 

“I know, I just hate coming home to an empty house.” Your voice was soft. 

“I get it. Savannah and I only see each other once in a blue moon.” 

“You both have demanding jobs, I'm not surprised. But you guys make it work.” You said. 

“So do you.” 

“Well considering Aaron is on the other side of the world, I don’t think it really counts.” You smile 

at the thought of it. How much you just wanted to lay in his arms. 

“You’re still doing your best even when he is here.” 

“I guess you could say that.”

You got quiet when you mind drifted to the moments when you were with Aaron and not Agent Hotchner. 

There was enough to hold on to, enough for you not to lose your mind. 

Your guy's anniversary was right around the concern and you had no idea what you were gonna do. You both had talked about going out to dinner and having a day to yourselves. That back when. you both thought he was going to be here. 

“But we got each other right?” Derek said and parked his car next to the hiking trail. 

“Yeah I’m not going anywhere.” You got it if the car and looked at the trail ahead of you. 

The sky was painted of oranges and pinks as the sun popped out of the clouds. 

“You ready?” He asked. 

“Oh you misunderstood, when I said I’m not going anywhere I meant I’m gonna sit my happy ass on that bench,” You pointed to the bench across from the car. “and watch as you run around.” 

He laughed but grabbed your arm and dragged you up the trail. 


	22. Anniversary

“You should be sleeping, it’s late,” Aaron said over the phone. 

“And you should be working but here we are.” You smiled and pulled the cover-up to your face. 

The calls had been more frequent, which you were secretly grateful for. 

These runs with Derek weren’t getting any better. You were sore every day but not in the way you want to be. The only good that came from it was you were more awake when you walked into the office. 

“Everyone needs breaks sometimes.” He defended. 

“I never thought I'd live to see the day Aaron Hotchner says he needs a break.” 

“I'm not that bad.” 

“You'd be surprised, you're very stubborn.” You smiled. 

You held the phone close to your face. Thinking if you held it close enough you’d be able to kiss him.

He looked exhausted but he hid it well. But you notice everything. Before you had a chance to ask if he had been sleeping he spoke. 

“Do you know what today is?” He asked. 

“Um,” You thought. “Friday.” you shrugged. 

“No.” 

“The 2nd.” You tried again. 

“No.” He smiled. You knew what he was hinting at. “Let me rephrase, do you know what _my_ today is, _your_ tomorrow.” 

“Saturday.” You smiled. He raised his eyebrows at you. “My tomorrow is going to mark a year since our first date.” You finally said. 

“Yes, considering I’m 9 hours into the day I can say with much confidence that I liked it a year ago.” He smiled. 

“Yeah me too.” 

“I’m sorry I’m not there.” His face visually fell. 

“It's not your fault. Besides, I'll make do without you.” 

“Really? What are you gonna do?” He asked.

“Um, I don't know yet.” 

You hadn't thought that far in advance. You were most likely going to sleep in and do nothing, enjoy the day off. 

“Sounds eventful.” 

There was nothing else to say, but you didn't want to hang up. You watched as he wrote something down. His eyes squinted together as he focused on the paper in front of him. 

You felt your eyes get heavy but you kept forcing them open. He started silently reading the words and that was enough to make you fall asleep. 

You let your eyes close but you could still hear what was being said. Your phone suddenly got very heavy in your hand. You let it fall onto the blanket but he was still able to see your face. 

There wasn't much to see anyway, your eyes were shut but the light on your nightstand was still on. 

“I knew you were tired.” He mumbled. He was so quiet you almost missed it. You let out a small laugh. “I'll take this as my queue to go.” 

“Wait.” You opened your eyes to see him one last time. “I love you,” you whispered. 

“I love you too. Good night.” 

“Good morning.” you joked. There was almost a 12-hour difference between the two of you. So a _good morning_ was fitting. 

“Go to sleep.” he laughed. Before you had a chance to say something else he hung up. 

~~~~~ 

The next morning you slept in till 9 which you really needed. You spent the first half of your day eating ice cream and watching 50 first dates. Then your phone rang. It was Penelope. 

“Pen not today.” You answered. 

“I know sugar plumb and I’m sorry.”

“What’s the case? You shut off your tv and walked over to your kitchen to put the ice cream away. 

“Oh it’s not a case, you just forgot to sign something and they need to close the case.” You nodded along but then realized that she couldn’t see you. 

“Ok, I’ll be there as soon as I can.” You hung up and threw your phone on your bed. 

Changing out of your jogger and shirt you put on jeans and a loose blouse. You weren’t going to be there for a long time, well at least you hope.

When you walked into the bullpen it was silent. No one was there, which is understandable because it’s saturday and everyone needs a day off. 

You walk to Penelope office and see that her computers were on but she was nowhere to be found. Popping your head into Derek’s office you saw that he wasn’t there either but there were open files on his desk. 

“Oh come on.” You whispered and walked back to your desk. There was no case file or paper for that matter. 

You went up to the catwalk and passed Aarons office that had been empty for 3 months now. 

Rossi’s office lights were off but the door was cracked a little. His chair wasn’t pushed in. It looked like he had been called away and just left it. You shut the door and made your way to the briefing room.

The door was closed, and the door was never closed. You rolled your eyes and pushed it open. 

“Surprise!” Everyone yelled. You jumped back and tightened your hand around the doorknob. 

“What’s going on?” You asked relaxing your shoulders. 

“We know it's your anniversary,” JJ said and started walking towards you. “And we didn’t want you to spend it alone.” She gestured to the table. There was flowers, a box of chocolates and small cake. 

“Aw, thank you guys, you didn’t have to do this.” You said and wrapped your arms around JJ. 

“We all know what it’s like to be away from the people that we love.” Rossi said and kissed your cheek. 

Derek hugged you and said something about working out tomorrow. You rolled your eyes and saw Spencer standing in the corner. 

“You too cool for the party?” You asked. 

“No, I just want you to enjoy your day.” He was quiet. 

“I am. What’s wrong?” 

“I don’t want to ruin anything.” 

“You’re not gonna ruin anything.” You said. 

“Meave hasn’t been answering my calls.” He said and hung his head. You had almost missed it because of Derek’s laugh. 

“Maybe she’s just working on a paper, didn’t you say she’s trying to get another PhD?” He nodded. “She’s probably just distracted.” His face didn’t seem convinced. You grabbed his hand and pulled him into a hug. “Everythings gonna be ok.” He dug his face into the side of your shoulder. It was the way he hugged and everyone was used to it. 

“I got it!” Penelope ran into the room with her computer in her hand. 

“Got what?” You asked but no one answered. Derek grabbed your shoulders and sat you down into one of the seats. “What’s happening?” Penelope put the computer down in front of you. The screen was black. 

Everyone was huddled around you like they were waiting for something. 

“Can someone please tell me what’s going on-” 

“Hi.” There was a familiar voice. You could pick it out of a crowd. You head flicked to the computer and saw Aaron. 

“Hi.” You smiled. 

“Happy anniversary.” He had a cheesy grin on his face. 

“Happy anniversary.” You repeated. 

“We’ll leave you two alone.” 

Rossi said and walked everyone out. The door shut and you turned your attention back to the computer. 

“Did you open it?” He asked. He could see the confusion on your face. “Look on my chair.” 

You wheeled over to the chair he normally sat on and pulled it out. There was a small bag sitting on it. You picked it up and wheeled back to the computer. 

You didn’t think he was going to get you anything because he was halfway around the world. You pulled out the tissue paper and pulled out a rectangular velvet box. You smiled and put the now empty bag on the table. 

A silver pendant hung from the cain. From further inspection you saw it had your anniversary engraved on it. 

You ran your fingers over the numbers, fully taking in all it’s beauty. You took a deep breath through your nose, trying to hold back your tears. 

“You like it?” Aarons voice brought you back to earth.

“I love it. Thank you.” your eyes hadn’t left the necklace. 

“Don't thank me thank Rossi, he's the one that picked it up.” 

“I’ll be sure to do that.” you had the biggest smile on your face. “I really wanna kiss you.” 

“Yeah I can see it on your face.” he teased. You felt the heat start to form in your cheeks. 

You carefully took the necklace out of the box and put it on. You dangled it between your fingers trying to get used to having it on. 

“I’m going to assume that all this was your idea.” You were referring to the cake and flowers. 

“Yeah.” He confirmed with a bright smile. 

“Who knew Aaron Hotchner could be so cheesy.” 

~~~~~

_His hair was disheveled because of how he would constantly run his hands through it when he was stressed, which happened to be almost all the time._

_You took a step closer to him just wanting to touch him._

_Even though Aaron towered over you slightly, you stared up at him, his brown eyes a few shades darker making them look more attractive._

_He stepped closer to you and he peers down at you causing your breath to hitch in your throat._

_“I want to take you somewhere and make you whimper under me and me only." He whispers in your ear._

_You swallow, making your throat go drier then it already was. "W-what?" You say, tripping over the singular word, not being able to believe the words that were coming out of his mouth._

_"You heard me Y/n, I want to hear your pretty moans under me while I fuck you senseless." He whispers closer to your ear, as he slips his arm around your waist pulling you closer._

_Gripping his tie, you pull him harder to you, smashing your lips onto his. He kisses you back instantly as he moves his other hand to tilt your chin upwards to him._

_Both of your lips move against one another lustfully and quickly almost like if you pulled away the moment would have been gone too soon._

_You pull him closer to you, moaning into the kiss as he unbuttons your white long sleeve top. Once he was finished taking it off, your shrug out of it, revealing your black lacy bra._

_Your ass connects with the bed harshly a smack following it._

_When he leans over you his tie falls to your chest. It reminded you that we were wearing too many clothes. You take the opportunity of untying his tie to throw it onto the floor. You make haste with the buttons of his shirt, as he shrugs off the jacket he wore on top of it._

_As you both were now shirtless, you lean back finally breaking the steamy make out you both were in. Hotch leaned down to unbutton and pull your black jeans down gently. Helping him you step out of it and he swiftly but suddenly lifts you by your waist like you were a feather._

_You feel his clothed boner press against your clothed but wet core. He then disconnects from your lips to place kisses down your jaw and neck._

_"Aaron.." You moan in a needy way, wanting the pleasure to take its course already._

_He grunts against your neck before moving away not realizing one of his hands were tangled in your hair as the other one was lightly touching your wet core._

_"Aaron, please." You respond taking the hint as well as pouting your lower lip to see if that would do the trick._

_"What do you want?" He teases, a smirk playing his lips amused at the sight of your state._

_You half moan half grunt, as he pushes one finger in between your folds causing you to squirm against him._

_"Please, fuck me already." You half beg, your tone becoming squeaky by the second._

_"Mmhm," He says with his chest, automatically pushing into you with his two lengthy fingers._

_You let out a moan, as he starts pumping inside you, the speed becoming fast by each second. You feel your orgasm start to hit you when he lightly touches your g-spot causing a gasp to leave your mouth._

_"Oh, did I find your spot little girl?" He says lightly, loving the way you were about to come undone because of him._

_You nod your head at him, squeezing your eyes shut. You use one hand to grip the corner of the bed as your other hand was digging into his shoulder blade, most likely causing blood droplets to form._

_"Aaron, please." You moan choking in the pleasure he was feeding you._

_He pumps into you faster and this time he curls the two fingers, fully hitting the place you so desperately wanted him too. You finish on his fingers, your soaking sex now drenching your underwear with the release._

_He goes in between your legs, kissing you as you work on unbuckling his belt. As his pants drop, you slip your hand inside his boxers and you start to pump his length._

_A grunt leaves his mouth as he pulls away from you. He helps you off the bed and flips you around, only to push you back onto it. Your ass faced him and your chest was pressed against the bed squishing your breasts._

_He thrusts into you, his speed already increasing. He slides into you easily and your wetness coats him easier inside you. He places small kisses against your neck and you a bit forward grabbing a hold of the bed to balance yourself._

_As you feel another orgasm starting to bubble up, you clench around him causing one hand to hold your waist the other one gripping your hair to pull it._

_He grunts out as he pushes himself deeper inside of you his speed slowing down as his thrusts were harder. You release the second time for tonight, your legs already feeling weak._

_“That feels so good." Aaron states, pulling your hair even harsher, and secretly you loved it._

_You clench around him again-_

Jolting got out of your bed, you sit up and feel the sweat starting to seep through your shirt. 

“Fuck me.” 


	23. Coming Home

It felt like a start to a normal day. It was mid-November so it was getting colder. 

Thanksgiving was in a couple of weeks and Rossi was saying something about having a big dinner party. 

There was some hope that Aaron would be back by then. You had been getting updated that the work he was doing was almost complete. 

It’s been so long since you’ve been with him you had started to forget what it felt like. But hopefully, you’d remember soon. 

As you pulled into your regular parking spot. Your phone started ringing. It was Aaron. It wasn’t a skype call, it was just a regular phone call. 

“Hello?” You answered. 

“Hi.”

“Why do you sound wide awake?” You asked and grabbed all your papers. 

“Because I am.” He answered simply. 

“Well, it’s pushing midnight over there so I suggest shutting your eyes.” You locked your car and walked into the building.

The sudden gust of warm air hit your face as you walked to the elevator. 

“Why are you at work so early?” He asked. 

“Since Rossi is allergic to paperwork, I am the one that gets to go to the budget meeting.” You placed the phone between your cheek and your shoulder so you could get a better grip on the papers in your hand. 

He was quiet. You could only hear his steady breathing, at least you knew he was there. The doors of the elevator opened. 

“Why are you calling me so late?” You asked. 

“I just wanted to apologize for not calling you last night.” He finally spoke. 

There had been many nights when he didn't call. You never blamed him. You also knew that every spare second he had, he called Jake. It was hard for him to be away from his son. He hated leaving whenever you guys had cases. 

“It's ok. At least I can hear your voice.” You smiled. 

“I'm so sorry.” He apologized again. 

“It's ok,” you repeated. “Besides I fell asleep early.” You added trying to lighten the mood. It sucked because you couldn't see his face. You couldn't tell him his mind was running or if he was just waiting for you to say something else. 

“Do you have any advice for me before I go into this meeting?” You changed the subject and stepped off the elevator. 

“Yeah try not to zone out.” He laughed. 

“That's gonna be difficult because I haven't had any coffee” Penelope came rushing down the hallway from her office. “Hey Pen what are you doing here so early-” 

“Why don't you or Derek pick up your phone?” She asked. 

“I’m talking to Aaron-”

“When I need you to answer your phone you don't. And you know when it’s this early everything is still kinda blurry even if I’m wearing my glasses.” She rambled. 

“Penelope what’s going on?” 

“I think it’s him.” She finally said. Your face fell. “But like I said my eyes are still kinda wonky and the camera is far away so it’s pixelated. But you said he would come and it’s been a while and thinks he’s here.” 

“Ok ok, breathe let me look.” You started walking with her back to her office. 

“What is she talking about?” Aaron asked. You had forgotten he was on the other line. 

“I have to go.” You're trying to avoid the question at all costs. 

“Y/N what is she talking about?” He asked again. 

“Aaron I will call you back later.” You removed the phone from your shoulder and hung up. Putting all your files on the corner of Penelope's desk you walked over to her. 

She started to reply to the footage and suddenly stopped when a car was passing by. She has zoomed in on the face that could be seen from the window. 

Ian Doyle. 

“Fuck. That’s him.” You stood up straighter and placed your hand on the back of your neck. 

“What do we do?” She asked. 

“Call Derek.” You said trying to figure out what else to do. “Fuck it, call the whole team.” 

~~~~~ 

Derek had explained everything you guys had done. Setting up the camera, the extra security, the secret conversation you, Derek, and Penelope had been having. 

No one was surprised. They were all smart enough to know that you and Derek weren’t going to just let Ian Doyle walk around freely after what he did. 

The one thing no one wanted to do was tell Aaron it had been going on. Derek swore he had mentioned it to him before he left, but you didn’t believe it. You hadn’t mentioned anything because you knew he was going to shoot down the idea. 

But you sometimes convinced Derek to call Aaron and let him know everything that was going on. You mentioned how you hung up on him earlier and how he probably didn’t wanna hear from you right now. 

_Take the shot_

That’s all he said. 

When Derek had the opportunity to take the shot he didn’t. And you didn’t blame him, you both wanted him alive to make him suffer the way he did Emily. 

Everyone thought it would be a good idea if you _didn’t_ go into the interrogation. They were right there was a high chance you would reach across the table and strangle him. Derek was able to control himself. 

You stayed with Penelope to look at the other footage you had. Fast-forwarding through the video you saw someone cover the camera. You showed Penelope and she went to go inform Derek. 

The rest of the footage didn’t have anything on them. The camera was still covered so you moved on to the next tape. 

“JJ wants to talk to all of us,” Penelope said and you stood up to talk with her. 

Penelope was in front of you as you both walked into the room. You were in the middle of saying something when you saw him. 

“Hi.” You could hardly hear yourself as you spoke. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. 

“Hi,” Aaron said back. He had a big smile on his face. You could hardly see his dimple through his beard. 

Without thinking about it you walked over to him. He quickly wrapped his arms around your waist, something he hadn’t done in literal months. You took a deep breathtaking in all his cologne. 

He was skinner- more muscles. It didn’t feel real, having him in your arms. It wasn’t long before his grip around you loosened. You slowly let go of him and stepped back. Turning around you saw the rest of the team had walked in. 

“Sorry.” You felt the heat start to rise to your cheeks. 

You stepped back to stand next to Derek. 

“He's back, good. You can stop calling me now.” He nudged your arm. 

“You love me.” You teased. You felt him roll his eyes. He did that every time you said it. 

After everyone was settled, Aaron began to speak. 

“Seven months ago, I made a decision that affected this team.”He started. Arm crossed on his chest, head hanging low. 

“As you all know, Emily had lost a lot of blood after her fight with Doyle.” 

_We all know what happened, we were there._ You thought to yourself. _Where is this going?_

“But the doctors were able to stabilize her, and she was airlifted from Boston to Bethesda under covert exfiltration. Her identity was strictly need-to-know, and she stayed there until she was well enough to travel.”

_What?_

“She was reassigned to Paris where she was given several identities, none of which we had access to, for her security.” 

_She’s alive?_

“She’s alive?” Penelope beat you to the punch. 

“But… we buried her,” Reid says next. 

“As I said, I take full responsibility for the decision. If anyone has any issues, they should be directed toward me.” Aaron said again. His expression hadn’t changed. 

“Any _issues_?” Derek said “Yeah I got issues-” You waved a hand over him, telling him to stop before he got himself into trouble. 

The sound of approaching footsteps — heels — draws everyone’s attention. Heart in your throat, shock fogging over your thoughts, you follow everyone else’s lead and turn towards the doorway. 

There she was. Emily Prentiss in all her living glory. 

_This isn’t real._ You thought. _You‘re having a dream, a very detailed dream but a dream nonetheless._

“Oh my god.” You whispered. Her eyes scanned the room meeting everyone’s eyes. Then they land on you and Derek. 

She slowly steps closer. It takes everything in you not to take a step away from her. You're not mad, just in shock-everyone is. You're finally drawn out of your thoughts when you hear your voice being called. 

“Agent L/N.” It’s Strauss. 

_What could she possibly want this very second?_

You take one last glance at Emily then at Aaron as you walk out the back of the room. Strauss is waiting for you at the end of the stairs. 

“Yes ma’am.” You said. 

“I just wanted to know how everything is going.” She seemed interested in the answer. 

“Uh- we may have a lead, but with the return of both Agents Hotchner and Prentiss we may be able to get more soon.” You tried not to stumble over your words. 

“Is everyone adjusting well?” She asked. 

“Everyone is still in shock with Prentiss' return. Hotchner is still getting used to being back after having the leave.” You stated, she furrowed her eyebrows at your word choice. 

“He didn’t have to leave.” She put it simply. 

“Excuse me?” 

“When Agent Hotchner was offered the position, I made it very clear that he didn’t have to take the job. Other applicants were just as qualified. He insisted he’d be the one to go. I was in shock when he said that, considering everything that was happening with your team. I would’ve thought he wanted to stay because you had already lost 2 agents.” She said. 

She was right, Emily died- well apparently she didn’t- JJ went back to the pentagon to finish up something. At that time Aaron had left too. It was a rough month being down 3 Agents. 

“By the look on your face, I’m going to assume you didn’t know that.” She said. 

“I did not know that, thank you for informing me.” You gave her a small smile and walked back up the stairs and into the room. 

Emily was already looking at the evidence board putting things together. From the corner of your eye, your saw Aaron. His stance hadn’t changed. He was watching over everyone. 

_I made it very clear he didn’t have to take the job._

Her words repeated over and over in your head. You weren’t mad about them keeping Emily a secret. They needed to do what they had to to keep her alive. You knew that. You are just glad that she’s alive. 

So he just left, pretended that it was forced on him. Like he couldn’t say no. He could’ve been here- with Jack, with the team, with you. But he left. 

Before you knew it everyone was leaving the briefing room. Where were they going? You had no idea. You instinctively went back Penelope back to her office. When you opened the door the girls were already there. 

Emily was the first to walk up to you. She didn’t say anything just stood in front of you. You felt your eyes start to water. You wrapped your arms around her. 

_She is real_. 

“I am so so sorry.” She whispered to you. 

“Don’t be.” You pulled her away to see her face. 

“If you're mad at me I completely understand, I would be pissed at me too. I mean you didn’t carry my casket but you gave my eulogy and I know that was hard-”

“Emily,” You shook her shoulders to get her to stop. “I’m just glad you're alive.” 

“Ok let’s do this,” Emily said

~~~~~ 

The day ended and 3 terrorists were dead and you saved a boy's life. 

You had to distance yourself for Aaron pretty much the whole time. He kept giving you side glances wanting to say something. He had mentioned talking after you guys finished the case. But you didn’t give him the chance. 

After arriving back to Quantico you grabbed your files and purse before anyone had a chance to say anything.

Emily had asked you for a ride back to her apartment, that she still had no.

The whole ride there she told you about all the different things she experienced. And she couldn’t stop going on about this one girl she met at the beginning of her exfiltration. 

“How long did that go on for?” You asked. 

“Only like a month.” She shrugged. 

“Well, that’s better than nothing.” She was quiet. When you looked over you saw she was picking at her thumbnail. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.” She shook her hand. 

“Emily you may have been dead for the past 7 months but I still know you.” You smiled. 

“It was JJ.” She whispered. You pulled over to the side of the street to look over at her. 

“What the hell did you just say?” 

“JJ,” She said a little louder. “She stayed with me while I was still in the hospital. When I was able to fly she came with me to Paris. I told her to leave so many times, to go back home and be with you guys, but she didn’t want to. That was one of the best months of my life.” She had the smallest smile on her face. 

“I hate that you guys are cute.” You said and put the car back in drive. 

“You act like you don’t have a boyfriend waiting for you at home.” She said and you tried and gave her your best smile. 

~~~~~

After getting out of the shower you made your way to the kitchen. 

_Am I really hungry?_

You asked yourself as you looked in the fridge. You settled on a box of peanut m&ms. Wrapping yourself in the cardigan you were wearing. Sitting down on the couch you start going through the tv channels. Eating m&m after m&m there was a knock at the door. 

_Please don’t be Aaron, please don’t be Aaron_

Just your luck, it wasn’t Aaron, but one very smiley Derek Morgan. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” You asked once you opened the door. 

“I wanted to check on you, you were in a rush to leave the office.” He was right you just left. 

“Do you blame me?” You moved aside so he could walk in. 

“No, just wanted to make sure you were ok.”

He walked in and sat in the same spot where you were sitting. You took the seat next to him and waved the box of candy in his face offering him some. 

“Where's Hotch? Is he here? Cause I can go.” He said while chewing on his m&m. 

“No he’s not here, I don’t know where he is.” 

“You don’t? I thought you guys would’ve wanted some alone time cause he’s been gone for so long.” He shoved your shoulder with his. You knew what he was getting at but you weren’t smiling. 

“Yeah well…” You trailed off and stared into space. 

“What happened, cause he must’ve done a lot for you to be this quiet about-”

“He left on purpose.” You cut him off. 

“What?” He sat up and looked at you. 

“Strauss gave him an out to the investigative task force.” You looked at him, he was still giving you a confused look. “I know it’s small, and so shouldn’t be this mad about it but-”

“You're allowed to get mad.” He cut you off this time. 

“I hate lying.” You said and played with your fingers. “When anyone does it, I can’t stand it.” 

“I know you do.” You reached into the box to grab another piece of candy.

“But why lie about leaving?”

“I don't know.” He said even though you weren’t looking for an answer. 

“It was still taking everything in me to get out of bed every day. And up until this morning, we were all in pain.”

“I know, just try and talk to him.” He patted your arm. 

“I don’t know what I’ll do when I see him.” He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “When I see him I don’t know if I’ll break down in his arms, or slap him I don’t know.” 

“Well, I can’t picture you doing either.” He laughed and it made you smile. “I say to keep a safe distance away.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” 

The two of you sat in silence for a while, slowly chipping away at the box of candy. Getting up from the couch you threw away the box and grabbed a bottle of water. On your way back to your living room there was another knock at your door. You threw the water to Derek and looked through the peephole. 

“Fuck.” You groaned and stood back on your feet. 

“Is it him?” Derek asked. You nodded. 

Taking a deep breath you unlocked your door. Opening it to Aaron. 

“Hey, can we talk? Please.” You stepped out of the way for him to walk in. Derek was already standing ready to walk out. When Aaron saw him he froze in his steps. 

“I’m just leaving,” Derek said and started walking to the door. “It’s nice to have you back man.” He shut the door behind him. 

You stood frozen in the middle of your apartment. Your arms wrapped tightly around your self pulling the cardigan closer to your body. You stared at your feet as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. 

When you looked up you saw that he was in the same position you were- arms crossed feet together. 

“You have a beard.” You pointed out the obvious. 

“You already knew that.” He said and took a small step forward. You took a step back remembering what Derek said about keeping distance. 

His face fell when he watched you move away from him. There was no easy way to bring this up, there was no right way to bring this up. 

“You're still wearing the necklace.” His eyes fell to the chain that was in the middle of your chest. 

“I haven’t taken it off.” Your hand fell to the necklace. “You wanted to talk.” You reminded him. 

He exhaled deeply and shoved his hands in his pockets. He rocked back and forth on his feet trying to find the words. 

“I’m sorry.” He said. 

“For what?” You asked. 

“For not telling you about Emily.” He stopped rocking on his feet. 

“That’s not what I’m mad about.” You said and did think twice about it. 

“That’s not what you're mad about?” He asked. Your face froze. 

“I understand why you hid it and I’m not mad about it, it was for Emily’s safety. You couldn’t say anything-”

“Damn it Y/N.” He almost yelled. “Can you just answer my question.” You tried your hardest not the flinch at his words. 

“I know you lied to me about leaving.” You said.

He didn’t even try to defend himself. He hung his head and tried to step closer to you. 

“I said I’m sorry.” He was softer than before. 

“You apologized for keeping Emily a secret and if you would’ve let me finish you would’ve heard me say that I don’t care about that. That wasn’t about us that was about my best friend and keeping her alive.” You said through clenched teeth. 

“Y/n.” He reached his hands out to grab yours. You wrapped your arms tighter around your body. 

“Why didn’t you just say you wanted to leave?” 

“Because I didn’t want to.” you were confused. 

“Then why go?!” You shouted. 

“I couldn’t stand to see you like that.” He said. His voice was much softer than yours. 

“So you left! I watched as my best friend's heart slowed down- I thought she died. So your response was to leave! Aaron, please make that make sense.” 

He didn’t say anything. His head hung low, like a kid that was getting yelled at by his mom. 

You were trying not to cry. There had been too many emotions in one day. It was surprising that you hadn’t cried earlier in the day. 

“I’m not trying to make you feel bad, I’m not. I just-” You cut yourself off not knowing what you were asking for. 

“What do wanna hear y/n? I’m sorry? Cause I am sorry. But don’t act like I’m the only one that’s kept secrets.” 

“What?” You don’t remember keeping anything from him. Besides, keep eye on Doyle but he kind of knew about that. 

“You didn’t tell me you got shot.” He said and re-crossed his arms. 

You looked about in your memory trying to think of a time you had gotten shot. There wasn’t one- you’d remember getting shot. 

“You were in Montana, I read you got shot.” He said. 

He started to sound less confident in what he was saying. You think back to that case, it was only a couple of weeks ago. 

“I didn't get shot, ” You said, only partially annoyed. “I was shot at, it was a graze- barely got any skin.” You rolled your eyes. 

“But you still didn't tell me-” You cut him off. 

“Do you wanna see it?” 

You didn't give him a chance to answer. You started to take off your cardigan. You had been wearing a tank top under your cardigan. You threw it on the couch and showed your banged arm. Even though it had been close to 2 weeks ago it was still healing. You took off the wrapping to reveal your scraped skin. 

“See there’s no bullet hole in my arm. Happy?” You asked. 

He stared at your arm. You watched as he walked up to you. This time you didn’t back away. He reached his hands out and turned your arm so he could see it better. 

“Why did you say anything?” He asked. 

“What were you gonna do? You were halfway around the world.” You asked softer this time. 

His head left up so he was now looking at you. This was the first time you could see his features. The bags under his eyes had gotten bigger, and his beard was fuller. 

His hand ran down your arm and stopped at your hand. He tightened his grin around it and walked you to your bathroom. He sat you down on the toilet and went into the closet to get some gauze. 

He sat on the edge of the bathtub and reached out for your arm again. You rested your hand on his thigh. 

“You don’t need to do this.” You said. 

“But I want to.” He said and poured some rubbing alcohol on a cotton ball. 

You winced when you touched the alcohol to your arm. He apologized and took it off your arm and threw out the cotton ball. 

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly. 

“It’s fine.” You said. It wasn’t clear what he was apologizing for. 

He wrapped the gauze around your upper arm. He let his fingers graze down your arm. Your hand squeezed his thigh. 

“I’ve been running around like a chicken without a head for the past 6 months. And now that everything is on the up and up again, I need time to process…” You trailed off not knowing how to finish. 

The look on his face was kind of understanding. He got what you were hinting at but what still confused. 

“I need to get used to having you around.” you hung your head. 

“You want to get away from me.” He said and stood from the bathtub. Your head swung up to see the sadness in his face. 

“That’s not what I meant.” You said and stood up with him. He walked past you to walk out of the bathroom. “Aaron, wait.” You called after him. 

“Hey!” You shouted just to get his attention. “Can you listen to me for a second?” He turned around to face you and crossed his arms.

“I’m not ending this, that’s the last thing I want.” You instinctively reached for your necklace. “I just need a second to get used to having my head on straight.” 

“So you're not trying to get away from me?” He asked. 

“No” You deadpanned. “But you don’t know what it was like to have lost 2 people I care about all in the span of a month. You never get to know about the nights I cried myself to sleep. The times where I all I wanted to do was cry in my boyfriend's arms because I lost my best friend, no I had to go to Derek and Spencer.” You took a deep breath trying to control your tears. “I love you, ok? I love you with my whole heart. But you lied to me, and you know how I am about lying.I don’t understand why you left and I may never understand. So to wrap my head around everything that’s going on I need time.” 

You tried to keep your voice and calm as possible. But no matter how much you tried to contain yourself your eyes started to feel heavy. All the emotion and the exhaustion were starting to get the better of you. 

“Fine, do what you need to.” You could hear the frustration in his voice. He opened your front door and let it slam behind him. You jumped slightly at the loud sound. You could distinctly hear her car turning on and him driving away. 


	24. Hunted

Even though you were extremely tired it still took you hours to be able to fall asleep. You fell asleep clutching one of your pillows. But it’s not like you were gonna get much sleep anyway. When you woke up the sound of your alarm was blazing in your ear. 

You were lucky it even sounded because you forgot to charge your phone. 11%. 

_ It’s gonna be a long day.  _

You lifted yourself out of your bed and into the bathroom. The warm water ran down your skin and through your hair. You stood under the showerhead. You breathed slowly preparing for the day ahead of you. 

Wrapping yourself in a towel you find your phone that you had plugged in. There were no frantic messages so that was a good thing. All murderers have decided to take a break. In Penelope's words “maybe they went to therapy”. 

You didn’t leave your apartment till you had to. You weren’t going to mess up your somewhat perfect attendance because of a fight. You had thought about taking the day off, but there was a lot of work to do. 

Pulling into the parking lot, you debated if you should wait out the 15 minutes you had till having to be at your desk. 

_ I don’t have to talk to him today. I don’t even have to see him. What if he keeps his blinds open? Shit, what if there’s a case? Uh, whatever.  _

You grabbed your to-go coffee cup and bag and headed inside. You felt the bottom of your trench coat move up with the wind. Walking up to the door you adjusted your bag so you could open the door. Before you could pull it open there was someone that opened it. 

Following the hand, you were met with Derek. He normally was already sitting at his desk with his second cup of coffee at this point. But you didn’t question him, just thanked him and walked inside. 

On the way up you kept shifting your weight on your feet. Visibly uncomfortable, even you noticed it. He knew better than to ask what was wrong. He was scared he might get yelled at, and it was too early for that. 

The ding from the elevator caused your shoulders to drop in relief. You took a giant step when getting off the elevator but you didn’t get far. Penelope was waiting but the glass doors. 

“There you guys are, grab your go-bags.” She said once she was in earshot. 

“What’s going on?” Derek asked. 

“You haven’t seen the news?” She asked back. You both shook your head. She waved you both to follow her into the bullpen. Your attention was drawn to the tv that was playing the news. 

“Just after 8 this morning, 40- year- old Darrin Call, a lifelong resident of Louisville, assaulted customers at the pharmacy on the corner of main and Truxton avenues. Eyewitnesses saw him walking east on main street minutes after the attack..” The report spoke as a picture of the unsub popped up on the screen. 

“You’re going to Louisville,” Penelope said, bringing your attention back to her. Your eyes glanced up to Aaron’s office and the lights were still off. As if she knew what you were looking for Penelope asked. “Do you know where Hotch is? Cause Rossi can’t get a hold of him.” 

You shocked your head. You two haven’t talked since he left your apartment the night prior. 

“Is he spending the day with Jack?” Derek asked you. 

“No, Jacks with his aunt visiting some of their family downstate. They aren’t coming back till after thanksgiving.” You said not making eye contact with either agent. There wasn’t much else to say so tightened the grip on your bag and walked back to the elevator. 

Derek had caught the elevator doors before they shut. Successfully standing by you again in complete silence. 

_ They need to add elevator music.  _

“You wanna ride to the airport together?” He asked. He felt eyes scan you looking by for micro-details. The only movement you made was a nod.

You mumbled something about driving. Keeping your eyes on the road will keep your mind quiet. 

And that’s exactly what happened. There was music playing lightly in the back. As opposed to the other music you normally played when you and Derek were going to the airport. There used to be no hesitation in blasting music and driving through the open road. But today it was gloomy, the sun was nowhere to be found. 

“What the hell is going on with you?” Derek broke the silence. 

“N-”

“No, I’m not taking ‘nothing’ as an answer.” He cut you off. “What happened last night?” 

“He came, we talked, he left, we’re not talking.” You answered and tightened your grip on the steering wheel. 

“What did you say?” You ignored his assumption that  _ you  _ had been the person to do something wrong. 

“I said I don’t do good with lying and I need time to recuperate.” 

“And?” He kept asking. 

“He let the door slam behind him.” You adjusted yourself in your seat when you came to a red light. “He thought I was trying to leave him-which I don’t blame him for because the way I was sounding was like I was done with all his shit.” You said and kept driving the short distance. 

“So you guys haven’t spoken?” He was trying to have everything be crystal clear in his head. 

“No.” You answered simply hoping for that to be the end of the conversation. 

“But-” You cut him off. 

“Derek I’m trying not to cry while thinking about this, so can we please just drop it?” You asked, but he had no time to answer because you had pulled up to the landing strip. 

You quickly parked the car and jumped out. The cold air that fills your lungs makes you shiver slightly. You grab your go-bag from the back of the car and follow Derek to the steps of the jet. When you turn your head you see Emily was the only other person that was there. 

“I never thought I’d see you sitting here again.” You said and sat across from her by the window. Derek chuckled and sat next to you. 

“First case back, how do you feel?” Derek asked. 

“Well, Spencer won’t look at me and Penelope is a little distance.” She said and fidgeted with her fingers. 

Spencer had come to you during that time you all thought Emily was gone forever. He was like you and couldn’t stop crying no matter how hard he tried. You two had shared ice cream at times. 

“He’ll come around.” You tried to sound reassuring.

This was the point in time you would look at the case file. But since the incident just happened, there was no case file yet. 

Silence filled the air of the jet. It was only sounds of leather rubbing against legs. You listed your hand to push your glasses further up your face. 

The sound of heels hitting the stairs got everyone’s attention. You peek your head over the seat to see who was walking in. Rossi and Hotch. JJ and Reid were close behind them. JJ started handing out files and happily took the seat next to Emily. 

“Good to see you,” Rossi said to Emily as he took a seat on the couch. Reid took a seat next to Rossi and Aaron stood awkwardly in the aisle. Derek had taken his normal seat. 

You could feel his eye burning a hole in your head. When you looked up he didn’t try to make it seem like he was looking at you. His eyes were glued on yours. You instinctively reached for your necklace and rubbed it between your fingers. 

“Hello, my lovely crime fighters.” Penelope's voice came from the computer that was sitting next to you. As you were looking at Penelope you could still feel a certain pair of eyes on you. 

“Any other attacks?” Aaron asked. 

“Not yet,” Penelope answered. 

“He’s proven hard to track. He’s never had a driver's license, so he’s most likely still on foot.” You said and flipped through the pages. 

“Or public transportation.” JJ chimed in. 

“He’s not gonna take the bus. His face is everywhere.” Emily said. Penelope had pulled up the picture from the security camera. 

“Has anyone found a stressor?” Hotch said. He sounds aggravated. 

“He just lost his job. He’s worked at a factory since 1990. Made appliances since forced and not a single promotion. He’s a hermit variety. As far as I can tell he's got no one.” Penelope said. 

“Nothing to live for,” Derek said. 

“So why hasn’t he killed himself yet? Sprees usually end in suicide. If he’s got nothing to live for, why hasn’t he ended it?” Hotch said. You were a little taken back by his bluntness. 

“Because he isn’t finished yet. We know he was displaced anger. He took it out on the first victim.” You glared at him as you spoke. 

“Well, the stock boy represents someone. We need to know who.” He said and turned around to find a seat at the front of the jet. 

“What the hell was that?” Emily asked as she leaned over the table. You didn’t answer, just rolled your eyes and readjusted yourself in your seat. 

~~~~~

You were instructed to go to the pharmacy with Derek and Hotch. Why you weren’t sent to the station with Spencer? You have no idea. 

You kept as much distance between you and Aaron as you could. 

Derek was off talking to the pharmacist that was present during the attack. Even though you were halfway across the store you could hear the conversation. You walked around the store with your hands behind your back. Scanning to see the room imagine how the altercation happened. 

“He was on an antipsychotic?” You hear Hotch's voice. You turned around to see that he had joined Derek in asking questions. 

“That’s why I wanted him to calm down.” The pharmacist said, her voice was faint. 

You didn’t think much of the conversation so you went back to walking around the crime scene. Looking at the discarded bags on the floor. Pill bottles scattered across the floor 

“And when were you going to tell us this?” Hotch's voice came again. This time you fully turned around to see what was happening. You started to walk over but Derek and Hotch were starting to walk away. 

You could hear him yelling on the phone. He was talking to Penelope. 

“What the hell is going on with him?” Derek asked you. You gave him a confused look. “He blew up on your witness and is yelling at Penelope for not getting records fast enough.” He filled in. 

_ Did I do this? _

“I uh- I- I don’t know.” You stuttered. 

~~~~~

Rossi had found the address of the unsubs therapists, and since you, Hotch and Derek were closer that where you were heading. 

Hotch was stepping on the gas like it was nobody's business. If you didn’t know any better you would've thought it was Derek who was driving. You held on to the handlebar almost the whole ride. Once the car came to a screeching halt you jumped out and ran behind Derek into the office. 

Running up the stairs and down the narrow hallway to the open door. All three of you came to a stop when you saw the body on the floor. The local officers standing around waiting for your order. You holstered your gun and rubbed the back of your neck. The office was destroyed, tables were broken. Filed cabinet half-open with paper scattered on the floor. 

“All right, get out of here and check the perimeter,” Derek said to the officers. They did as they were instructed and left the room. 

You turned your head when you heard footsteps approaching. It was Emily and Rossi. Derek has stepped away to examine the body. You and Emily shared a look. Neither of you wanted to be there. Rossi's eyes were locked on Hotch waiting for him to say something or give an order. 

“We’re too late,” Hotch said and walked out of the room. 

“Hotch!” Emily called after him. She looked over at you waiting for you to do something. You shoved your hands in your back pockets and hung your head. 

Someone from CSI came around and handed everyone gloves. You took them and started going through the filing cabinet looking for the unsubs file. From the corner of your eye, you saw Emily slip out of the door. Rossi was on the other side of the room looking through the other cabinet. 

“He cleaned up, changed his clothes,” The lead detective said and held up a bloody shirt. “Could have dyed his hair for all I know.” 

“He’s suffering from a psychotic break. He’s not dogging us on purpose.” You said. The detective raised his eyebrows. 

“Trust her, she knows what she's talking about,” Rossi said. 

“Look at this place,” Derek said.

“Yeah, it’s a mess.” The detective said.

“It’s more than that, he was looking for something,” Derek said and looked over to you and Rossi. 

“I can’t find his file,” Rossi said and looked over at you, you shook your head. 

There was a tap on your shoulder when you turned around and saw Emily. She averted her eyes when you turned around. She motioned for you to follow her so you did. You ripped the gloves off, you threw them out. 

“You need to talk to Hotch.” She said once you were close enough.

“What happened?” You asked 

“He just finished yelling at Penelope for the second time today. Not to mention the crazy attitude he gave me.” She said. You ran your hand over your face. You apologized for him and walked and found your way out of the building.

When you walked out you saw him standing by one car. He was staring intensely at his phone. Letting out a deep breath you walk to him. 

“What are you doing out here?” He asked, but you didn’t answer. You grab his arm and walk him far enough away from the other officers. Once you were sure you were out of earshot you crossed your arms and looked up at him. 

“If you’re gonna be mad, be mad at me because it’s my fault.” You said. 

“I’m not mad.” He said and put his phone in his inside jacket pocket. 

“Really?” You scoffed. “If you are not mad when do you keep yelling at Penelope for things that aren’t her fault? Why is Emily the second person to ask me what’s wrong with you?” 

“Y/N, just leave it.” He tried to move past you but you put your hand on his chest to stop him. 

“I’m not gonna leave it because they don’t deserve this. You mad at me so take it out on me. Give  _ me  _ the attitude.” You said and tried to find his eye while you spoke. 

“Fine.” He waved you off. 

You did tell him to give you the attitude so you weren’t surprised when he didn’t say anything else. When he was out of your line of sight you could see everyone walking out of the building. Emily looked at you from across the street and silently asked if everything was all right. You nodded. 

You made your way over to the other side of the street trying to keep as much distance away from Aaron as possible. 

“Do you mind if I ride back to the station with you? There’s too much tension in that car.” You asked Emily and Rossi from the driver's side window. 

“Hop on in kid,” Rossi said. You opened the back seat door and climbed into the car. Rossi pulled out of the parking spot and drove by Hotch and Derek’s car. Your and Hotch’s eye lock for a split second. Once they’re gone you focus your vision out the window. 

“Do I ask what’s going on or so I let it be?” Rossi whispers to Emily, but he said it loud enough for you to hear it. 

“I’d rather not talk about it.” You mumbled. Rossi looked at you through the rearview mirror. You gave the best smile you could conger up. He was satisfied enough to take his eye off you and look back at the road. 

The ride back to the station was fairly quiet. The only noise was the soft music playing from the radio. It was unfortunate that the police station was a drive away. You would give anything to have to sit in that car any longer. But then you remember how much worse it would be if you were in the car with Hotch and Derek. 

When Rossi pulled up to the station you were the first one to jump out of the car. Walking into the station you saw JJ and Reid at different ends of the table. JJ was quick to walk over to you. 

You knew Reid was mad about the whole Emily death thing. Well everyone was because up until yesterday afternoon you all thought she was still dead. Reid had been very quiet when it came to talking with the team. If it wasn’t about the case he wasn’t speaking up. 

“Thank god your back.” She said and grabbed your hand and walked you over to the table where she was sitting. 

“I take it as it hasn’t been going so well.” You said and sat next to her. 

“If your definition of well is complete silence then yeah. Except for the time where I try and speak up and all I get is an eye roll.” 

“Not him too.” You said and look at Reid who was covering his face with a paper. 

“What do you mean him too?” She asked. You looked back at her and sighed. 

“If Hotch comes off as an asshole today or the next couple of days, I apologize.” You made a blanket statement hoping it would cover everything. 

“So he’s Hotch now?” JJ asked. You stood from your chair and walked over to the evidence board without answering her question. 

You were caught up in your thoughts when you heard the phone start ringing. When you turn around to answer it you see that everyone else has arrived. Hotch is on the other side of the table talking with Rossi.

When you go to answer the phone you lean half your body weight against the table. You weren’t even trying to make a show of bending over but when you look up, you could see Aaron was thinking something different. His eyes were starting to come out of his head. 7 months and no sex was an incredibly long time, you were starting to go a little stir crazy. 

“Hey P, whatcha got?” You asked and stood back on your feet. 

“May 1st, 1975, a 6-year-old Darrin Call was found roaming in the middle of nowhere and was picked up and was in state care for the first few months.” She said. 

“What happened after?” You asked and crossed your arms over your chest. 

“Nothing, he was never claimed.” Your heart started to sink when she talked. 

“Maybe he wasn’t from the area. There wasn’t a thriving missing children’s network in 1975.” JJ said.

“But he always comes back to the same 10-mile radius,” Derek said. You turned around and looked at the map that was behind you. Spencer has marked the areas where the unsub was last seen. It was just one big circle. 

“We know he’s changed clothes and has his file,” Rossi said. 

“Yeah, and a head start.” You said still facing the map. 

You didn’t need to look to see that everyone was staring you down. Even Penelope was quiet after hearing your comment. 

“Records from Child Services have him extremely physically abused, no signs of sexual assault,” Penelope said 

“That’s a miracle.” You said and took a seat next to JJ. 

“Either way, the trauma was debilitating,” Reid said 

You rested your hand under your chin trying to focus on what everyone was saying. You let your hand run down to your neck, and over the necklace. 

“He would want to go back to what he knows,” Rossi said.

“He doesn’t know anything.” The detective said. There always has to be the one detective that questions every move you make. 

“He’s beginning to. 1975, Sterner Orphanage. It’s Where he became Darrin Call.” Hotch said and pinned up a picture of the old orphanage. 

~~~~~

After finding out the unsubs faller was the hollow creek killer. The team was on the way to his house. You followed Emily into the back of the SUV. You start to put your vest on. When everything was secure you threw Derek his. 

Hotch made a sudden turn which caused you to fly down the seat and ram right into Emily’s side. You groaned at the sudden impact. Once the car straightens out you scooted back to your side. When you look up to the road you could see Hotch's in the review mirror. His eyes were narrow. 

The car came to an abrupt halt in front of the house. You jump out and follow to where Rossi and JJ were standing. 

“The kids in there, they have tactical teams covering the exits,” Rossi said. 

“We still have to find a way to get the kid out.” You said. 

“All we need is to get a confession out of Jacks and he goes away, and calls gets his answers. “ Emily said. 

It came to light that Call's father was a murderer, it explained why he was never claimed. 

You hung your head a little to fix your earpiece. Once it was fully adjusted you looked at the front of the house. Aaron was walking full speed to the front door. 

“What the hell is he doing!?” You said and started to follow you. Rossi put his arm around your side to stop you from moving. “Rossi, I’m not letting him go in there solo.” You said and tried to get through his grip. 

“We have to trust him.” He said he pushed you against the car. 

Once he walked inside the house you crutched down and rubbed your hands down your face. 

_ He’s gonna be ok.  _

When you stood back on your feet and kept your eyes on the door. 

_ He’s fine. He’s wearing his vest and he’s armed.  _

When you zone back in your vision was blurry. You tried your best to wipe them away before anyone saw them. Before you could put your hand back down, there was a pair of hands on your shoulders. 

Emily was pushing you back to the car. She opened the door and sat you down. 

“He’s gonna be ok right?” You were looking for some kind of reassurance. She looked at her hands that had traveled down to your knees.

“He’s gonna be ok.” She said with a steady breath. 

You ran your hands over your face once more. You moved your legs so your whole body was inside of the car. You adjust your head to see through the windshield. But your eyes were caught on the driver's seat. 

Pushing Emily out of your way you open the driver's side door. When you look at the seat you see a vest and a gun. The ones Aaron was supposed to be wearing. 

“Fucking dumbass.” You tried not to shout. 

“What?” Emily asked as she stood behind you. You picked up both objects and held them up to her. 

“Idiot,” Emily said. You threw them back in the car and walked back over to Rossi. The sound of your heels must’ve drawn his attention. 

“We need to go in there.” You said once you were in earshot. 

“We can’t.” He said. “He’ll be ok Y/N-” 

“He doesn’t have his vest or his gun on him.” You cut him off. Ever shared the same expression of worry. 

Just as everyone turned to look at the house two shots filled the air. Your heart went down to your stomach. You reached for your gun but you were stopped. 

“You're staying right here,” Emily said with her hands on yours. 

“Em-” She cut you off. 

“Stay here.” She said and ran in behind the rest of the team and the officers.

You rested your hands on the truck on one of the cop cars. You kept letting out deep breaths because it was the only thing that was seeming to calm you. 

Not knowing what else to do you started to pick at your fingernails. There were still some officers lingering around. Before you had a chance to register the noise, there was an ambulance pulling up beside you. 

_ Oh shit, so those weren’t just warning shots?  _

The EMTs and CSI came running out, they ran into the house just as Aaron was walking out. You let out a breath of relief. Then soon that relief turned into anger and frustration. 

An EMT ushered him to the back of the ambulance. You balled your hands into fists. You watched as everyone stood in front of Aaron. You couldn’t tell if you were walking or running at this point. 

“What the hell is wrong with you!?” You yelled when you walked up to him. 

“Y/N-”

“No, what the hell is wrong with you? Going in without your vest OR gun!” He was hanging his head like a child. 

“I did what needed to be done.” He said. 

“What  _ needed _ to be done was to create a plan that didn’t put you or anyone else at risk.” You crossed your arms so you didn’t strangle him. Even if you did there were EMTs here.“Isn’t that what you're always telling us?” You looked at the rest of the team and they were nodding along. 

“Y/N, please-”

“What would I have told Jake?” You asked. Everyone held their breath. “Huh? If Call decided to shoot you and not his dad. What would I have told Jack?” No one dared to say anything or walk away for that matter. 

You dropped your hands from your chest back to your sides. Your hands were still balled together. You huffed and walked back to the SUV. 

When you say in the car you ripped off your vest and threw it into the back of the car. Your eyes were still glued to the back of the ambulance. He looked ok from what you saw. You were just too mad to ask. 

Soon enough, Rossi, Derek, and Emily got in the car. 

“We decided that it would be best if Hotch rode in the other car,” Derek said and started the car. 

“Good idea.” You said and put your seatbelt on. 


	25. Proof

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song I’m referred to is Light Down Low by Max

On the jet ride home there was an incident between Emily and Reid that ended with yelling. Since they had stolen the spot of arguing you held back all your anger from Hotch. 

“So I was thinking,” Rossi said as he walked up to your desk. He put his hand on your desk and you looked up at him. “I was thinking of having a dinner party because,” He stopped to think of a reason. “well everyone needs it.” 

“It’s just Reid-” You started but he cut you off. 

“It’s not just Reid and Prentiss. You and Aaron have been at each other throats all day.” He raised his eyebrows when he spoke. 

“It wasn’t that bad.” You said and fiddled with your pen. He made the yes-it-was-face. 

“So dinner?” He tapped your desk with his ring. 

“Rossi I don’t know.” You said. 

“You're coming and you're going to convince Reid to come.” He said and started to walk to his office. You spun around in your chair to watch him walk away. 

~~~~~

After telling Spencer you’d go with him to any Russian or Korean movie for the next 2 months, he was finally going to dinner. 

Rossi had sent out a massive text _“Friday 5:30 pm sharp”_ Rossi was a stickler for time so it was important you be there at 5:30. 

Everyone had the day off so it was about 9:45 when you woke up. You decided to get some of your work done, considering you weren’t going to leave Rossi's house till later. You signed the last paper and threw it to the end of your bed. You laid back and let your head hit the pillow. Turning over your you grab your phone 11:17. 

_A nap won’t hurt anyone._

You shut your eyes and pull the blanket over your shoulder. But you realized your house was too quiet. You opened your phone up and clicked on Netflix. 

There were a lot of shows that you were meaning to watch but you never had the time. So you stuck to a classic, _‘How to get away with murder’_ Nothing like falling asleep listening to murder cases. But the ones they had on the show were kind of unrealistic. 

You wondered if Aaron had seen similar cases when he was a prosecutor. He’s only talked about so many cases. There were probably too many to remember. But you liked hearing about his life before the BAU. He was a completely different person. 

Other things he would tell you was when Jack was still a baby and all the funny things he did. Well, Jack was still cute and did funny things but hearing about baby Jack made it even cuter. You missed him a lot- Jack, not Aaron, well him too but mostly Jack. 

You missed his little hugs and cuddles. You could listen to him ramble on and on about dinosaurs and cars all day long. You didn’t get to see him the whole time Aaron was gone. You either had a case or a meeting. When you were home you were sleeping. 

As for Aaron, you missed every aspect of him. Him being there when you woke up in the morning. The morning kisses. The car rides to work. It was the little things you wanted the most. 

The only thing you didn’t miss was his cologne, that was because you had stolen his bottle. If you had turned to face his side of the bed you could still smell it on the pillow. 

You didn’t know what you were going to do at the dinner. You wanted to just forget everything and be with him all weekend but you were too far along to just forget. You wanted to apologize, but apologizing at dinner didn’t seem like the best idea. 

When your eyes finally open again, there was the sound of your phone blaring in your ear. You rub your eyes to see the name glowing on your phone. It was Strauss. 

“Yes ma’am.” You answered and cleared your throat. 

“The board is coming together for an emergency meeting and seeing as it’s about your team I assume you want to be there.” She said. 

“Can I ask what the purpose of the meeting is?” You yawed when you finished talking. 

“It’s to discuss Agent Prentiss’ return and case involving Ian Doyle.” She said and you fully sat up in your bed. 

“Can’t this wait till Monday?” You asked. 

“No, because if there’s a trial it will start on Monday.” 

“Ok I’ll be there as soon as I can.” You said and hung up the phone. It was 3:30 pm. 

These meetings can last hours. Rossi is gonna kill you if you're late. You threw the blanket and went straight to your bathroom. Putting on the dress you had planned to wear anyway. You did your hair and make up just the way you had planned. You were a little over dressed for a meeting but who cares. Being overdressed is better than getting harassed by Rossi. 

You grabbed your purse and a bottle of wine you knew Rossi was appreciate. These were the times you were lucky the office wasn’t that far from your apartment. You walked into the meeting room at 3:55. 

When you walked in you saw the other members, Strauss and the Senator. You knew it was bad when you bought the Senator in. He got in your last never. He had only been in the field for special assignments. And he tried to pass that off as field experience. 

“Senator,” You nod in his direction. “Nice to see you again.” You took your seat next to Maria. 

“Likewise.” He said. 

“We can get started now.” Angel said. “As you all may know this meeting is in regards to the take down on Ian Doyle an International terrorist along with 2 others. As you know Agent L/N was in the field when it happened. Agent do you have anything to say to this.” Everyone's attention was on you. 

“There was several months of investigation that went into the take down. And after gaining Agents Prentiss and Hotchner back to the team we were able to have things move quicker. I can say with much confidence that the BAU is proud of the work they did.” You said and crossed your legs. 

“You're proud of having three people died?” The senator asked. 

“Yes sir, they were 3 International terrorist and I think the world better without them in it.” It was a ballsy thing to say especially to a senator. But you were telling the truth. “Not to mention we saved a boys life in the process.” 

~~~~~

It was 5:13 when you were finally let loose from the room. You rushed to the elevator, frantically pushing the down button. 

“I think we should go over the-” Struass said as she walked up to you. 

“Erin I have an important thing I need to get to in 17 minutes.” You gave her a small smile and walked onto the elevator letting the doors close in front of her. 

Rushing to your car you kept a close eye on the time. 

When you pulled up to Rossi’s house- mansion you saw everyone's car already parked. 

_Shit I’m late. It’s 5:45. Hopefully he takes the wine as an apology._

You locked your car and walked through the driveway and up to the front door. Derek opened the door and gave you a knowing look. 

“How late am I?” You asked and walked passed him. 

“Rossi’s in the middle of the lesson.” He said. 

He shut the door and followed you into the kitchen. You tried to slip in undetected, but you knew there was a shot in that happening. Rossi stopped cutting the parsley to glare at you. 

“I’m sorry I’m late.” You said and held out the bottle of wine for him to take it. “Peace offering.” You said as he took it from your hands. 

You motioned for Rossi to continue his lesson. You looked up and saw the excitement on everyone’s faces and Rossi continued chopping. When you looked around your eyes landed on Aaron’s. He looked up and down before bringing his attention back to Rossi. 

“Cooking is the most sensual art form.” Rossi said and placed his hands on either side of the cutting board. “In a pot of boiling water we cook out pasta until it’s al dente, firm to the tooth.” He said and passed around the noodles. You took to noodles from Emily. You and Penelope both let the noodle hang from your lips and slowly chewed at it. 

“Now, in a large pan, we fry up our pancetta. Keeping a sharp eye that the edges are crisp.” He said and showed everyone the pan. 

“But careful not to burn the onions.” Aaron said. 

“Bravo, Aaron!” Rossi applauded. 

“Who knew Hotch could cook.” Emily said. 

“Someone has to.” He said and looked over to you. 

“You don’t know how to cook?” Derek asked you. 

“I can, but I burn things more than I should.” You said and ran your finger around the rim of the wine glass. The laughs from everyone else caused you to pick your head and see Aaron looking straight at you. You gave him a small smile. 

“We sauté until translucence.” Rossi said focusing back to the lesson. You started to take a sip of the wine that was sitting in front of you but you were stopped. Rossi's eyes were bulging out of his head. His hand was out telling you to stop, so you did. You clenched your jaw and settled the glass down to the counter again. 

“Sorry.” You smiled. 

“You show up late and drink when you're not instructed to.” He said and looked disappointed. 

“I’m sorry.” You apologized but still had a smile on your face. When he looked back down Emily nudged your arm. 

“Non scopare con Rossi.” ‘Don’t fuck with Rossi.’ She said and you folded your lips together to try and not laugh. 

~~~~~

Everyone was spewed across Rossi’s house, him and Aaron were standing at the bar. Derek and Penelope were on the other couch. 

You sat on the couch across from Emily and JJ, you listened as Emily talked about god knows what. This was her third glass of wine so she could ramble for a while. She stopped in the middle of her sentence and looked around the house. 

“What’s playing?” She asked put her glass down. 

“What?” you asked and watched as she stood up. She walked over to Rossi’s speaker and plugged in her phone. Some slow music started playing. 

“Emily nobody is paying attention to the music.” You said when she sat back down. 

“Well I am.” She said and picked her glass back up. 

“But you were talking- never mind.” You waved her off and sipped your wine. 

Emily went back to talking. JJ looked so interested in what she was saying, even though it was mostly nothing. Her eyes never left Emily's 

side.

You missed looking at Aaron like that. When he rambled on about Jack or anything else. He would get so focused on something his pupils would start to dilate and you couldn’t help but look. 

You were deep in your thoughts when the sound of a guitar brought you out. You listened to the song that was playing. When you realize what song it was your heart sunk a little. 

_Heaven only knows where you've been_

_But I don't really need to know_

This was the song you and Aaron danced to when it was Sunday morning and you were both cleaning the house. He would wrap his arms around your back and you both would sway on your feet. You would shut your eyes and lean your body weight on him. You would start singing softly when his grip around you would tighten. 

Then at some point the song would end and he would complain that you don’t sing as much as you should. You would soon go back to what you were doing. 

But at this moment you weren’t at home and it wasn’t Sunday morning. He was on the far side of the room with Derek and Rossi. 

You hadn’t thought the music was loud enough for him to hear. But he did. He was looking up at you. You shuffled around in your seat and pushed some hair behind your ear. When you look back up to see if he was still looking he was gone. 

Sighing you looked back to Emily and JJ. But that’s when you saw someone stand next to you. You turn to see who it was. Aaron. He had his hand out, ready for you to take it. Smiling you put your glass down and took his hand. 

He walked you two over the empty space that was next to the living room. He wrapped his arms around your side and pulled you as close to him as possible. You rested one hand on his shoulder and the other in the back of his head. 

_I know where you're gonna go_

_On my heart where you're resting your head_

You rested your head on his chest and your body moved with his. His chest raised and fell at a slow pace. He took one hand off your side and brought it to your chin. He lifted it so you were looking at him. 

“And you just look so beautiful, It’s like you are an angel.” He sang to you. You loved it when you hummed along but when he sang it was even better. 

You didn’t hesitate when he brought you forward and placed a light kiss on your lips. You relaxed under his touch and allowed him to hold you tighter. You could feel the pleasure run through your body with just the one kiss. When he released your chin from his grip you stared deep in his eyes. 

There was a small smile that spread across your lips. You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth and looked down at his chest. You were acting like a 15-year-old that was just kissed for the first time. 

That’s what it felt like anyway. It had been so long since you two had last kissed. You had forgotten what it was like. 

He placed his hand back on your side. He wasn’t letting a second go by where he wasn’t going to touch you. You hummed the rest of the song into his chest. 

You could feel everyone’s eyes on your two but you didn’t care. He hadn’t held you for a half a year, the stares are ok. 

The song slowly came to an end and you brought your arms back to your sides. When you turn around to face everyone else, there is no eye not on you.

“Go back to what you were doing.” You said to everyone. But you didn’t move from where you were standing. Aaron slid his hand across your back when he moved to stand next to you. 

Before you could move to sit down, Emily got up and took your hands. That’s when you heard the music. It was a spanish song all the girls had learned to dance to one girls night. 

“You remember the steps?” She asked you and walked you back to the empty spot. You looked down at your feet and then back at Emily. You nodded and she started moving. 

You moved your hips to the beat of the song. You both were dancing like you had just learned it yesterday. When you looked up she had the biggest smile on her face. She then lifted both her and your hands above your head and spun you around. When you turned you caught a glimpse of Aaron. He had the small spread across his face. 

When you spun back around to face her, she wrapped a protective around you. She took your other hand around her and she started to move both around again. 

Right before she spun you again there was a tap on your shoulder. You turn your head to see JJ standing next to you. 

“May I cut in?” She asked and looked at Emily who was now blushing. 

With a big smile you said, “Of course.” You passed her Emily hand and took a step back. 

It was a few seconds where you stood and watched the two dance together. Derek had grabbed your hand and pulled you into his chest. He tried to mimic the way Emily and JJ were dancing but he couldn’t do it. 

“All those muscles and you can’t do it.” You laughed. 

“Shut up.” He smiled. 

“How about I show him?” Penelope gripped Derek bicep. You gave up his hand and turned to Aaron. 

“And then there were two.” You grinned. He held out his hand once more. You placed yours in it and pulled yourself as close as possible. 

He was worse at dancing then Derek was but he gave it his best shot. He wasn't going to pick on him for not being able to move his hips. That was something you’d do later. You just enjoyed how close he was holding you and hoped no one would take him away. 

When you looked over his shoulder all you saw was smiling faces. Penelope was trying to explain the steps to Derek. 

Rossi was in the middle of pulling Emily away from JJ when you looked over. JJ looked disappointing but was happy when she grabbed Reid’s hand. 

_Everyone’s happy_


	26. Making Up

After a long night of pasta and dancing, you were finally home. You had kicked off your heels and stripped off your dress the second you walked in the door. 

When you got out of the shower you threw on some joggers and a sweater and walked into your kitchen. Deciding that you’ve had enough wine for the night you grab a bottle of water. You almost jumped out of your skin when you heard thunder from outside. 

_ Got home just in time.  _

You plop down on your couch and turn on your TV. Grabbing the blanket you snuggle into yourself and let the sounds of the rain relax you. You could feel yourself starting to drift off when you heard your phone ding. Groaning, you opened your eyes and looked over to the table. Then you remembered that you left your phone on the kitchen counter. You threw the blanket off yourself and walked back to your kitchen. When you unlocked it there was a notification next to the messages. It was from Aaron.

_ Did you make it home ok?  _

_ Yeah, I just missed the rain, have you left Rossi’s yet?  _

When you were saying your goodbyes it was only Rossi, Aaron, Derek, and Penelope. Penelope was a little too tipsy to drive home. You had offered to drive her but Derek had it under control. 

_ Yeah, I just walked in the door.  _

_ Good. _

You answered back. Apologizing over text was a bad idea and you knew it. Your finger hovered over the call button, but then you decided against it. 

You walked back to your living room and turned off the TV. Slipping a pair of your shoes on and grabbing your purse you left your apartment. In the middle of rushing, you forgot it was raining. When you made it outside you ran to your car trying to avoid getting wet. 

Although it was close to midnight it was still Friday so the streets were somewhat full. The rain didn’t help with traffic.

When you pulled up to Aaron’s block you saw there was no parking. His car was in the driveway and the streets were filled. You finally decided to park down the block. 

_ Running through the rain. Great.  _

When you stepped out of your car you started running in the direction of his house. Your feet stepping in puddles and water getting on your pants. You weren’t paying attention to where you were stepping so in the middle of running you tripped over a tree branch. 

Groaning you got back up. Your hands were scrapped from the concrete and your pants were dripping wet. Your legs hurt too much to try and run the rest of the way. So you walked the short distance to his house. You walked up the front step and stared at the front door. 

_ Just knock.  _

So you did. You knocked and waited for him to open the door. When he didn’t open the door you looked around the house. The lights were on, so you knocked a little harder. You heard footsteps coming down the stairs. When he opened the door he was in his pjs and his hair was a mess. 

“I’m sorry, for everything that has happened in the last couple of days. I just missed you so much and I was mad, and I’m not mad anymore, but if you don’t wanna talk or see me again I completely understand I just want you to know that I’m sorry.” You said. 

“You're soaking wet.” He said and examined your body. 

“I was running and I tripped over a tree branch and then fell in a puddle.” You said and brushed some of your hair behind your ear. 

He grabbed your hand and pulled you inside. He gripped your waist and pushed you against the now closed door. He crashed his lips on yours. It quite literally took your breath away. 

You moaned when he lifted your legs and wrapped them around his sides. You tangled your hands in his hair. He held you up by your thighs and carried you upstairs to his room. 

He fell on top of you when his legs hit the end of his bed. Your hands ran down his back and to the hem of his shirt. You pulled his shirt over his head and threw it in the opposite corner of the room. He brought one hand up to cup your cheek. 

“Your hair is wet.” He said and pulled away. 

“That’s not the only thing that’s wet.” You said and he pulled you back in. 

You run your hands down his back. You slid your hands under his pants, but before you could take them off he grabbed your hands. He didn’t say anything just pulled your hands out of his pants and stood up from you. 

“Stand up.” He ordered. You pushed yourself off the bed and stood next to him. “Strip.” It took everything in you not to smile. You didn’t know what had gotten into him but you didn't hate it. 

But you did as you were instructed. You crossed your arms over your chest and lifted your shirt over your head. You threw it in the same direction as his shirt. You stepped out of your pants and did a little spin for him. 

“I said strip, you're still wearing clothes.” You rolled your eyes and took off what was leftover. 

Without another word, he grabbed your waist. He turned you around so your back was to him. He bent you over the bed and ran a hand down your spine. You folded your lips together, trying not to let out a moan. 

His other hand found its way between your legs and to your entrance. You sucked a breath in as he teased you. His fingers flicked your clit a few times before pressing a bit harder. You let out a moan. 

Without any warning, he pressed into you with extreme force. You let out a deep groan when he filled you. He put his hands on your hips and started to thrust at an unforgivable pace. 

“Fuck.” You moan and drop your head. You watched as your necklace moved back and forth. 

You reached forward and grabbed the pillow. You buried your face deep inside it. He watched as your knuckles turned white from the grip on the pillow. 

“I wanna hear you, baby.” He said. So you shoved the pillow to your chest and let out a deep groan. 

You felt one of his hands leave your hips. Soon enough you felt him press a finger on your clit and started making small circles. Your eyes started to roll back when you slammed into you harder. 

The sounds of the headboard hitting the wall and both your and Aaron's groans filled the air. You could feel yourself getting closer with the added pressure. You tried to hold yourself back but you couldn’t. 

“Aaron-” You swallowed back a moan to finish your sentence. “Can I cum?” You asked and tightened your grip on the pillow. 

“Yes, baby cum for me.” 

You let yourself go, screaming as you went over the edge. Aaron didn’t slow down for a second making your orgasm last as long as possible. 

Seconds after you felt yourself start to come down, Aaron went over his edge. Throwing his head back he pushed himself into you one last time. 

His grip on your hips loosened as he slowly pulled out of you. You whimpered at the sudden loss. He helped you stand back on your feet. You turned in his hands to face him. 

“That was well worth the wait.” You said and placed a small kiss on his neck. 

“You don’t think we’re done do you?” He asked and let his hands fall to your ass. You gave him a confused look. “Let’s just say I have more where that came from.” He said. 

He sits you down in the middle of the bed and pushes you to lay down. Your legs dangle off the edge of the bed. He gets on his knees in front of you and places his hands on your thighs. He spreads them so everything is exposed to him. He kisses his way between your thighs. He started sucking on your clit which almost made you scream out. 

You could feel him smile from under you. When he licks up your clit you could feel the pit in your stomach start to grow. He inserts two fingers in you making you moan. He wraps his lips around your clit again sucking gently. His fingers thrusting into your and hitting your sweet spot perfectly. 

Needing something else to hold onto, you reach down and grab a fist full of his hair. Your hips start buckling under you.

“Fuck, babe I’m so close.” You moaned. 

He curls his fingers making sure to leave nothing untouched. Everything releasing out the knot in your stomach letting go, you moan out his name. 

He kisses his way back up until he reaches your lips. You can taste yourself on his lips when he kisses you. He lets go of your lips and starts kissing your neck. You let out a soft moan right into his ear. 

“Oh don’t make me do more to you.” He whispers. 

“What if I want you to.” You whispered right back. 

You were still trying to catch your breath when you entered you again. He starts slowly for a second letting you adjust to him again. 

You spread your legs wider so there wasn’t an inch of him left. You let out a deep groan when he hits the perfect spot. He knows what he did so he hits it every time. 

You dig your nails into his shoulders. You wrapped one arm around his back and pulled him closer. You smiled when you groaned in your ear. He could never explain it but when you pulled him closer it just did something to him. 

You never had a chance to breathe from the last time you came so the knot in your stomach started to form again. He let one hand fall between your legs. He presses light on your sensitive clit and starts making circles. 

You let out a low moan when he started to pick up the pace. You wrap your legs around him tighter. The tension in your stomach started to realise when he buried himself inside you. 

He kept thrusting into you trying to let your orgasm last as long as possible. You could feel his pace start to slow down letting you know he was close to. When he finished he slid next to you. 

You shut your eyes trying to catch your breath. 

He shifted in the bed to his side. He wrapped his arm around your stomach pulling your bodies together. 

“That was well worth the wait.” You turned your head to face him. He just smiled and kissed your shoulder. 

You turned to your side and placed both hands on his cheeks. You lifted his face so his eyes were on yours. 

“I missed you.” You said and brushed your thumbs across your cheeks. 

“I missed you too.” He said. You pulled his face to you. You placed a kiss on his lips. It was different from the other kisses. It was like the one when you too were dancing- soft. 

“I don’t think I’m gonna be able to get out of bed in the morning.”You said and nudged your head into his chest. 

“I can make that a for sure thing.” He said and pulled you on top of him. 

~~~~~ 

You could feel the sun hit your face when you started to wake up. You turn to your other side to avoid the sun. When you opened your eyes you were met with a wide-awake Aaron. 

“How long have you been awake?” You asked. 

“30 minutes.” He said and snuck his arm around you. 

“Why didn’t you wake me?” You questioned again. 

“Because you looked so peaceful sleeping.” He said and brought his lips to yours. 

“You were watching me sleep? that’s creepy.” You smiled. He didn’t say anything he just brought you back up to his lips. 

He rolled you over so you were laying on top of him. His hands were moving up and down your back. Your hands brush his hair.

*ring ring* 

Aaron groaned at the sound of his phone ringing. You laughed at his annoyance and rolled off of him. It took you a minute to fully step on the floor. With your legs still being a little wobbly and the floor being cold- it was difficult. 

“Where are you going?” He asked. 

“To take a bath.” You said and slowly walked to the bathroom. 

“You wanna wait for me?” He asked. You could hear the smile on his lips. 

“Uh…” You thought. “No.” You smiled and shut the door behind you. 

Once you closed the door you turned on the water and watched as the bathtub filled up. You went to the cabinet under the sink to grab one of the bath bombs you felt there. 

You walked back over to the bathtub and dropped it in. You watched as the bubbles formed. You could feel the steam from the water hitting your face. After putting your hair in a bun you sank into the tub. 

Aaron’s tub was deep enough so everything but your neck was in the water. You shut your eyes and let yourself soak in the water. 

You started to feel yourself drift off. But then you heard the door open and close. You peek through your eyelids to see Aaron walking in. He had put his boxers and shirt back on. 

He looked flustered. He was pacing up and down the bathroom. You watched as he crossed his arms over his chest. He lifted his hand to his mouth. You couldn’t tell if he was biting his nails or if he was just covering his mouth. 

“What happened?” You asked softly. He turned around and sat on the edge of the tub. He rested his hands on his knees and hung his head. He took your dry hand and placed it on his arm. “Who called?” You asked again. He let out a deep breath before speaking. 

“My mom.” 

Your eyes felt like they were coming out of your head. He never talked about his parents. He just mentioned that he doesn’t talk to them. Now that you think about it he doesn’t speak about his childhood. 

“What did she say?” 

“She wants to have dinner and catch up.” He said. 

“Is that a good or a bad thing?” You couldn’t tell his reaction because he hadn’t looked at you. 

“I don’t know, we haven’t spoken in four years.” He brought his hand up and ran it down his face. 

“Ok I don’t want to be pushing but you need to tell me what happened with you two. You never talk about her or your father. I don’t even know their names.” You said and reached out for his hand. It took him a couple of seconds to start speaking. 

“My dad uh, he used to beat on my mom.” Your heart sank when you finally spoke. “She said it was nothing, and being 15 I should’ve said something but in reality, I was scared of my dad too.” He paused. “One day when I came home from baseball practice, I was changing in my room when my mom walked in. I could feel her heart sink when she saw the bruises on my stomach and back. She ran out of my room and went straight to my dad's den. She physically threw him out of the house.” 

“That’s kind of badass not gonna lie.” You squeezed his hand. 

“Yeah,” The ends of his lips twitched upwards. “Looking back at it I realized how strong she was.” 

“Then why don’t you talk to her?” You asked softly. 

“I don’t know, I guess part of me is mad she let it go on for so long. A part of me is still mad cause no one knows.” He said. You gave him a confused look. “I grew up in the high class, country club, fancy gala every other weekend. I played baseball and golf in high school.” 

“Sounds like my grandparents.” You said. 

“Pretty much the same life, if I asked my mom she’d probably know your grandmother.” He smiled. 

“That’s a scary thought.” You chuckled. 

“Yeah well you know how it is, bad things are kept secret. Or people know they just don’t talk about it.” You nodded along. “My mom said he drank too much- which wasn’t a lie.” 

“But it wasn’t the whole truth.” You finished. 

“Right.” He said. “Well, I haven’t spoken or seen my dad in…” He trailed off trying to think of a number. “Too many years to count.” He finally said. 

“Makes sense.” You said. He stood quiet. He was in his thoughts. He was rubbing his fingers together and staring at the wall. 

“What’s going through that head of yours?” You asked and fixed the side of his hair. 

“Just thinking about if I’m gonna go to dinner.” He said. 

“Why wouldn’t you?” You asked. He shrugged. “You still have time to change things.” You added. 

“You know if I go you're coming with me right?” He said and looked over to you. 

“What!?” You raised your eyebrows. You felt your heart start beating faster. 

“I’m not going there alone.” He smiled. You opened your mouth to protest but he wouldn’t let you speak. “You’ve survived your grandmother, you'll be ok.” 

“Fine.” You caved. He was smiling when he leaned down to kiss you. 

“Good, tonight 8 o’clock.” He said as he pulled away from you. 

“I have to go back to my house to get some clothes.” You said and thought about what was in your closet. 

“You have clothes here.” He said. 

“Not the clothes I wanna wear to meet your mother.” You said. “All I have here is clothes for work, and one dress that is very small.” You could see the smile start to form on his face. “And before you say anything I’m not gonna wear that.” 

“Fine.” He said. He leaned back down and kissed you again. You put your hand on his cheek and brushed your thumb over his cheek. 

His hand cupped your jawline. The air hit your chest when he pulled you up. 

“I may have reconsidered you joining me.” You said and put your forehead on his. He stood up from the tub and took his shirt off. 

~~~~~

After finishing the bath with Aaron and some breakfast you went to your apartment. You washed some clothes and cleaned up your apartment. 

Once everything was washed you laid out the outfit you had planned on wearing. A thin-strapped black dress that went down to your ankles. There was a slit that went up to your lower thigh. Probably not the best thing to wear but it was better than a dress that showed half your ass when you bent over. 

You were digging through your closet looking for the shoes that went with the dress when your phone rang. You blindly reach out for it. 

“Hello?” You put it on speaker and placed it next to you on the floor. 

“Hi.” Emily's voice came through. 

“Oh hey Em.” 

“JJ and I wanted to know if you wanted to get a drink?” She asked. 

“Uh- rain check, please. I’m meeting Aaron’s mom for the first time and I can’t find my damn shoes.” You said and moved on to the other side of your closet. 

“Oh, that’s big.” She said. 

“I know, I’m not as nervous as I thought I would be.” You said. 

“Ok well, next time.” She sounded disappointed. 

“You and JJ can come over while I get ready I’m gonna straighten my hair and you know that takes forever.” You said standing up. 

“Ooo yay fancy wine. Let me ask JJ.” She said and then got quiet. “Ok we’re gonna see if Pen wants to come and we should be there in 20.” 

“Ok bye.” You said and hung up. 

Walking back into your room you thought about where your shoes could be. 

Soon enough there was a knock at your door. You look through the peephole to see Penelope standing in front of Emily and JJ. 

“Hello.” You smiled when you opened the door. Penelope hugged you and walked further into your apartment. Emily handed you a bottle of wine and followed Penelope. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen this place this clean before,” Emily said and sat on the couch. 

“Neither have I.” You laughed and walked into the kitchen. 

You took out the wine glasses that you had just cleaned and started serving everyone. 

“So you're meeting his mom?” JJ asked and sat on the barstool. You nodded and handed her a glass. 

“You seem calm,” Penelope said. 

“Yeah, my nerves won’t start to kick in till I walk in the door.” 

“Well, this should calm you down a bit,” Emily said and grabbed a glass. 

You crossed your fingers and took a sip of the wine. You started to walk to your room. You could hear the tap of everyone's shoes following you. Penelope and JJ sat on the edge of your bed. Emily had no hesitation to sit on the bathroom counter. 

The conversation went back and forth from the guy Penelope was seeing. To who Emily was talking to. Emily refused to answer when Penelope asked her. You just stood sipping your wine and doing your hair. 

After finishing the bottle of wine they decided to leave. You had to start leaving anyway. You had chosen to meet Aaron there. 

“Are you sure you're ok to drive?” Emily asked you before she walked out.

“I had 2 sips then you finished it for me.” You smiled. 

“Ok just checking.” She hugged you and followed Penelope and JJ back to the car. 

After you shut the door you slipped on your shoes that Penelope found buried deep inside your closet. You threw on one of your overcoats and purse. You practically ran to your car. 

You put in the GPS and pulled out of your parking spot. There were surprisingly a lot of cars out. 

You pulled up to a red light and texted Aaron to tell him you were already on your way. He said he was already there. Now you felt like you were in a little bit of a rush. You're not technically late, it's only 7:45. 

Your grandmother wouldn’t appreciate it if you were late so you assumed his mother was the same way. You shifted around in your seat starting to feel the nerves. 

_ It’s gonna be fine.  _

You tried to talk yourself down from going crazy. 

_ What if she does know my grandma. That would be bad.  _

The light turned green. You pressed on the gas and started going through the intersection. There was a loud car horn that came from the side. When you turn your head you see another car coming straight at you. Your first instinct was to swerve out the way. So you did. You hit the gas and swerve to the side without seeing what was in front of you. 

You were heading straight for the side of a hill. The side of the car went up on the hill. Gravity took over and flipped the car over back onto the street. There was a sharp pain in your stomach. But you couldn’t look down because the airbag came out and hit your chest. Your head swung around and you finally hit the floor. 

You heard the roof of the car scraping the concrete. You could feel the car spinning around. You couldn’t figure out which direction you were facing. When the car finally came to a stop everything started to feel weak. Your head was still spinning. 

“Someone call 9-1-1!” It was muffled but you could hear someone yelling. You opened your mouth to yell but nothing came out. 

Then everything went black. 


	27. 27

“It’s almost one, are you guys hungry? I could go get something.” Rossi said. He sounded distant. No one answered him but you did hear some shuffling around. 

“I’ll come back with some coffees.” He spoke again. 

There was more moving around, you felt something squeeze your hand. It took a second to realize that it was someone else's hand. It had a strong grip like they were afraid to let go. To your right, someone had placed both their hands on your forearm. They slid up and down before stopping at your hand. 

“She looks so pale,” Emily whispered. You assumed it was her hand that was on your arm. 

“She looks better than yesterday,” Derek said. His voice was straight ahead, most likely at the foot of the bed. 

_ Yesterday?  _

That’s when you heard the beeping of a heart monitor.

_ Am I in a hospital?  _

That’s when it all came flooding back to you, the car coming at you. You tried to get out of the way and ended up flipping over. 

_ Shit, I was in a car accident.  _

You opened your mouth to speak but it was so dry. You tied swallowing, it was hard but you did it. You cleared your throat. 

“Can I get some water?” Your voice barely came out when you spoke. The room felt still like everyone stopped moving. 

“Y/N?” Aaron asked not sure if he heard you speak or if that was just his imagination. You cleared your throat again and tried to open your eyes. Everything was blurry when they finally opened. 

Derek was at the foot of your bed like you had thought, his hands on the railing. Emily was sitting to your left holding your hand. Aaron was on your right doing the same. 

“I’ll go get Savannah,” Derek said and left the room. 

“How long was I out for?” You asked anyone that would answer.” 

“Almost four days,” Emily said. 

“Shit.” You mumbled and tried to shift your body weight. There was a sharp pain in your stomach which restricted your movement. You groaned and stayed still as humanly possible. 

“Yeah, I wouldn’t move if I were you,” Savannah said when she walked in. “Welcome back to the world.” She walked over to the side of the bed where Emily had sat. 

“I forgot how bright it was.” You joked. 

She asked everyone to leave the room so she could check you out. Aaron never let go of your hand. 

“When you were brought it you had a thick chunk of glass that went straight into your abdomen.” She said. 

She lifted the hospital gown to reveal your thick bandage. When she lifted it you could see the scar that went down your stomach. 

“Ouch.” You said and threw your head back on the pillow. 

“That's what I said. It went through your kidney and some of the large intestine and a small part of your liver. It took a couple of hours but we were able to fix it all. I didn’t expect you to be asleep for so long, so I’ll be back later to run some tests to make sure that nothing was affected.” She said. You nodded along. 

“Don’t try moving, at all.” She said before she walked out. 

You turn your head to face Aaron. You could see the tears in his eyes start to build up. 

“No tears.” You brought your hand up to his cheek. He put his hand over yours. 

“I thought I lost you.” His voice cracked.

Seeing him broken hurt. It took everything in you not to start crying yourself. 

“I’m right here.” You said. 

He took your hand off his cheek and wrapped it in his. He kissed the back of your hand. You watched as he circled the back of your hand with his thumb. 

It looked like he was too scared to let you go. Like you were gonna fly away if he let go. 

“Do you know how they found me?” You asked. He looked up to you and cleared his throat. 

“Uh- from what I was told, they called the cops and it took the paramedics almost an hour to get you out because you were flipped and the airbags. Savannah said it was a miracle you didn’t bleed out.” His voice got shaky and he held your hand tighter. “I was in the middle of talking to my mom about you when I got a call from your mom.” 

“My mom?” You asked. 

“Yeah, she’s your emergency contact. When they found your ID, they looked for your paperwork and got her number. She called me and I rushed over here. Rossi called me and asked if I wanted to get a drink, I told him and I assumed he told everyone else.” 

“And I’ve been out for three days.” You're trying to make everything make sense. He nodded. 

“I’m sorry I scared you.” You whispered. 

“I’m just happy you're breathing.” He kissed your hand again. 

Then you heard footsteps stop at the door. You turn your head to see your mom holding what you assume was a cup of coffee. 

“I can’t tell if I’m dreaming or not.” She said. 

“Hi.” You said and watched as the smile grew on her face. 

She walked over to the side where Emily had sat. She brushed the hair away from your face and kissed your forehead. 

“I don't think I’ve ever been so happy to hear your voice before.” She sat next to you. 

“That’s good to know.” You smiled. 

“Oh my baby, you scared me.” Her hand fell to yours. 

“So I‘ve been told.” You tried to smile but you could feel your eyes start to get heavy. 

You could hear your mom mumble something about making sure your house was clean. You were shushed when you tried to protest. If your memory serves you correctly your apartment was still a mess. Before you had felt everyone was helping to look for your shoes. So everything was speared out with clothes everywhere. 

“You should go home.” You said and reached out for Aaron’s hand. 

“I’m not going anywhere.” He said. You turned your head to see that he was being dead serious. 

You opened your mouth to say something else but he stopped you. 

“Just shut your eyes, I will be here when you wake up.” 

You tried to pull him closer but you didn’t have the strength you thought you had. Your hand slipped right off of his. He got your message and stopped from his seat and leaned over the bed. He pressed his lips on your.

It was so soft you thought he had pulled away but he hadn’t. Your hand went to his cheek when you thought he was going to sit back down. 

When you finally pulled away you could see his pupils were dilated. Letting your body relax and shut your eyes and let yourself sleep. 

~~~~~

When you opened your eyes again all there was to hear was the sound of the heart rate monitor beeping. Aaron and your mom were on either side of you. There head down on the bed. 

“Good morning.” Emily said from the doorway. 

“What are you doing here so early?” You asked. 

“I just wanted to check in before I went to the office.” She walked in and handed you a cup of water. 

“He’s making you guys go back already?” You asked and gestured to Aaron who was slightly snoring. 

“We all agreed once we knew you were ok we’d go back. And you're ok so, back to work we go.” You nodded along. You tried to keep your eyes open and focused on what she was saying. But damn did they give you some good drugs. 

“How you feelin.” She asked. 

“Better than yesterday.” You smiled. “I can move a little more and now I have this big ass scar.” You pointed to your stomach. 

“Well I have the same one, you’ll be ok.” She smiled. 

“Ha, matching scars cool.” You chuckled. 

“Just don’t make any sudden moves.” 

“Well with these two around,” You pointed to your mom and Aaron. “I don’t think I’m gonna be going for runs with Derek any time soon.” 

“Good.” She said her goodbyes and soon left for work. 

Trying to keep yourself awake you looked through TV channels. Nothing caught your eye. 

Right before you fell asleep again Aaron started to move around. You watched as he shifted his head in his arms. You raised your head and ran it through his hair to soothe him back to sleep. 

You kept rubbing the back of his head until your eyes started to shut again. 

~~~~~

_ Pulling out of your parking spot you pulled into the main road.  _

_ When you hear your phone ding you dig for it and throw your purse. When you pull up to a red light you pull your bag onto your lap. You finally found your phone and saw it was a text from Aaron.  _

_ “Are you on your way yet?”  _

_ “Yeah I just left I should be there in 20” You responded.  _

_ You threw your phone back in your purse and put it back on the passenger seat. You stepped on the gas when the light turned green again. _

_ There were no other cars on the road. It was odd because the streets are always full around your apartment.  _

_ You shrugged it off and kept driving. Before reaching the other end of the street you heard a car horn blaring in the distance. Turning your head you could see a car coming right for you. You tried hitting the gas to move out of the way but your car wasn’t moving.  _

_ “What the hell.”  _

_ You pressed your foot harder but still you were moving. Each time you looked up from the pedal the car was getting closer. There was no sign of it slowing down either.  _

_ You tried to put the car in reverse but nothing. You could hear tires screeching but it was no use. When you looked up again the car was a foot away. You put your hands up to cover your face. You could see a shining light-  _

  
  


Jolting out of bed sent a sharp pain through your stomach. 

“Fuck.” You groaned and clenched your stomach. You slowly laid back down and shut your eyes to try and ease the pain. 

“What happened? Are you ok?” Your mom asked lifting her jeans from the bed. 

“I’m fine.” You waved her off. You could Aaron head lift from the bed. You turn to face him. He reached his hand up and whipped the tear away from your check.

“Nightmare?” He asked as his thumb brushed your cheek. 

Nodding you felt your hands starting to shake. You balled your hand up trying to get them to stop shaking. You took a deep breath trying to get the tears to stop running. 

The heat was starting to rise in your cheek. You could feel your face getting red. You could feel yourself start hyperventilating. 

“Hey look at me.” Aaron's voice was muffled in your ears. He lifted your chin with his finger so you were looking at him. “Deep breath.” He took a deep breath with you. He kept doing that until he could feel your hands have stopped shaking. 

“What happened?” He asked calmly. 

“I was in the middle of the road and I could get out of the way. I tried moving but the car wouldn’t budge then the car came at me. I woke up before it hit me.” You tried to not stutter over your works. 

He nodded along as you spoke. He wrapped a careful arm around you and brought you close to him. The sound of his heart beating calmed you. It reminded you that you didn’t die and you're still here with him. 


	28. Coming home... but better

It has been over a month since you've been in the hospital. The team has had two cases in the time you were chained to the bed. You had forced Aaron to leave for work. When he wasn't working you told him to spend time with Jake because it had been who knows how long it's been since he saw his son.

He brought Jake by to see you. He wanted to give you one of his famous hugs. But Aaron had already explained to him that you were injured. But he let him sit on the end of the bed you two could play go-fish.

It had been so long since you had last seen the kid. You couldn't tell if it was the way you were laying down but you swore the kid had grown.

Your mom didn't hesitate to point out that your heart rate would spike when either of them walked in. The whole of your mom being a nurse didn't help the situation. She mentioned something about only seeing that happen with patients that had been bedridden for months.

But after all the tests, painkillers, and surgery's it was finally time for you to go home. The team had gotten a case a couple of days prior and they were still in some rural area of North Carolina.

Your mom was out talking with Savannah about the thing you were and were not allowed to do. You walked out of the bathroom from changing out of your patient gown and into a hoodie and joggers.

That's when you heard your phone ringing. You shut the door and slowly walk to the chair your mom had been sitting in. You flip the phone over to see the picture you had of Aaron sleeping- his contact picture.

"Hi." You said and put the phone on speaker and threw it on the bed. You dug through the bag your mom had brought looking for a hair-tie.

"You sound better." He said you could hear the smile in his voice.

"I'm excited, I get to sleep in my bed tonight." You smiled.

"I thought you were supposed to get discharged next week." You knew he wanted to be there when you went home. But you had a feeling he was going to be away.

"Yeah, me too but apparently I heal faster than most people." You threw your hair into a messy bun knowing you'll take it down once you got home.

He stood silent for a second. If you knew him well enough- which you did, you could tell he was twirling a pen between his fingers. "Babe, I'm gonna be just fine." You reassured him.

"I know you are, I just..." He trailed off.

"I know." You added softly and sat down on the bed. "And nothing bad is going to happen, my mom is here and she won't let me breathe without her go ahead."

"That's why I like her so much." He was smiling and you knew it.

"Yeah, I like you too." Your mom said and stood in front of you. "So, we need to change your bandage every two hours. You still can't do too much moving around. That includes working out, running, sex." She looked between you and the phone.

"Well, there goes my plans." You said in a disappointing tone. That earned a sigh from both your mom and Aaron.

"Is there anything else?" Aaron changed the subject.

"No that's pretty much it." Your mom said and grabbed the bag that was next to you.

"Ok, well please be careful and text me when you get home." He said.

"I will, you be careful too." Your voice was soft.

"I will, I love you."

"I love you too." You hung up the phone and looked at your mom.

She smiled and grabbed your hand. She helped you into the wheelchair. As she wheeled you out you waved bye to Savannah and the other nurses that had treated you.

The closer you had gotten to the car the more nervous you got. You were trying to prepare yourself for the car ride home.

In the other weeks you were in the hospital you had managed to have three more nightmares about the crash. Each time Aaron had seemed to calm you down. But now he wasn't here. And you were starting to panic.

She helped you into the passenger seat and went to return the wheelchair.

Everything is gonna be fine.

Letting out a deep breath you reach out for the upper handle. You squeezed it as if your life depended on it. You bounced your leg up at down as you watched the other cars drive by.

Your mom jumped into the driver's seat. The first thing she noticed was your leg bouncing. You had always done that since you were little. That and biting the inside of your cheeks. She knew you needed something to distract you. A conversation that would last until you both got home.

"You seem happy." Your mom said and started the car. She watched as you slightly flinched when the engine rumbled.

"What?" You have her a sideways glance.

"You seem happy with Aaron."

"Oh," You smiled to yourself. "He's more than I could ever ask for."

"Yeah, I can see it whenever he walks in. To be honest it's about time you found someone new." She said and pulled out of the parking spot and drove onto the main road.

"What?!" You were slightly offended. But your mom had told you to start meeting a new guy but you explained that your job was very important and didn't allow time to socialize.

"Honey I'm gonna be very straight up with you, all the men you've had in your life have left. It's not your fault, it's just what happened. I don't blame you for being hesitant when it comes to being with someone else." She said.

Your mother was never one to sugarcoat things. She has always been a realist for as long as you can remember. So hearing things from her could hurt or be a real eye-opener.

"I know, but hey I've found the one that makes me happy no matter what. I don't have to fight with him about everything. He may be overprotective but it's better than nothing." You shrugged. You slowly pull your arm down from the handle and place it on your thigh. "But hey you can't really talk." You added.

"What do you mean?" She said and stopped at a red light. She turned to face you.

"Dad left... eleven almost twelve years ago, and you've been on what two dates." You pointed out.

"About that..." She trailed off as she kept driving. You furrowed your eyebrows. You watched as she tightened her grip on the steering wheel.

"What did you do?" You slowly shift your body weight to face her.

"You remember Christopher right?"

Christoper was the guy that owned the local diner that you and your mom went to practically every day. They seemed to get along very well, VERY WELL. There were countless amounts of times you caught them flirting. But your mother was oblivious.

He was there to cheer you on when you graduated from college. From what you knew he was the one that comforted your mom after your dad decided to leave.

When he did leave you waited for so long for your mom to realize what was happening. You had officially given up hope when you got the internship with the FBI. You left hoping something would happen cause you wanted to see your mom happy again.

"Of course, how could I forget." You said.

"Well a couple of months back, he asked me out." She said.

"And you didn't tell me!" You shouted.

"I didn't want you to get your hopes up. And I wanted to enjoy it myself." She shrugged.

"Mom, I'm a grown woman I think I would've been ok if things didn't end up well." She was still concerned for you even though you hadn't lived with her for some years now.

"I know, but I'm telling you now." The smile that spread across her face was one you hadn't seen in so long.

"Oh you were so blind, when it came to the way he looked at you." You added mostly to yourself.

"What?" She asked.

"The way he looked at you, whenever he would come by the table. His eyes lit up, his smile grew twice as big. He would relax his shoulders. He would move heaven and earth for you and all you had to do was ask."

In that moment of you explaining you realized thatAaron looked at you the same way. You could be doing something so normal but whenever he looked at you his pupils would dilate. His posture would become more relaxed. When you wrapped his arms around to your front he would lean his body weight on you.

It brought you so much joy when he started doing that with you having to ask. He would always give you a strange look when you asked him to lean some of his weight in you. You liked feeling protected, and that for some reason put you at ease.

You missed the night when he would lay his head on your chest and wrap his arms around your sides. Your head would be on top of his and you would tangle your legs up with his under the covers. You would play with his hair until you felt his body completely relax under your touch. But you couldn't trust he was truly asleep until his leg would twitch. That alway seemed to make you smile.

Who knew something so small could make you so happy.

"Did you hear that from your grandfather?" She asked.

"No, why?" It was a very random question to ask.

"Because one day when I was younger than you, he told me about the first couple of times he had seen grandma. He said she was the prettiest girl he had ever seen. It had taken him months to work up the courage to talk to her let alone ask her out. But then he finally did. He told her he would move heaven and earth for her all she had to do was ask. He still tells her that to this day."

You smiled at the thought of your grandfather. It had been months since you had last seen him. The last time was when you all had the dinner where Aaron met them. Then your grandmother said some things, so you all went out for lunch the next day.

That lunch went very smoothly without her. Your grandfather had walked you back to your car and said something along the lines of 'I like this Aaron guy, don't let go of him' you had replied with 'I don't plan on it'.

But besides your occasional calls here and there you hadn't spoken to him in a while.

"I give him props for staying married to her for so long." You smiled.

"She's not that bad." Your mother defined. You looked at her and raised your eyebrows. "Ok maybe she is that bad but she means well."

"She'll always be crazy in my eyes." You said and looked to your hands.

"Yeah me too."

When the conversation came to a close. You looked out the window feeling a little more at ease. But that was soon over when you passed the street where you got into the accident. You could still see some pieces of glass on the side of the road.

Your hand was wrapped around your wrist

to feel your pulse racing. You put your hands on your knees to stabilize yourself.

Out of habit you reach to your neck to run your fingers across your necklace. But it wasn't there. Aaron had told you it had broken off at some point when they were bringing you to the hospital. Just the thought of it being gone caused your eyes to water.

"What's wrong hun?" You mom asked.

"My necklace, I forgot it's not there." You whipped the tear away.

"Yeah I remember you both talking about that, when'd he give it to you?" She asked again.

"For our anniversary a couple of months ago, it had the day of our first date on it. I never took it off." You explained.

"That must've been a really good anniversary."

"For the most part, he was in Pakistan so we were on the phone. But the team surprised me with a cake and some flowers."

You smiled remembering how happy you were that day. That was before the whole lying thing, so you were still happy. Your hand rested on your chest where your necklace would've been.

You shock your head trying not to let your mind wander to the fight. It hadn't even been a full day of you too being back together when you got into the accident. It reminded you that life is too short for fighting. It may sound cheesy but it was true. That just as well could've been your last time with Aaron. But it wasn't.

"What did he do?" You mom asked bringing you back to earth.

"What?" You asked.

"What did Aaron do?" She asked again.

"Why do you assume he did something?"

"Because you just answered a question with a question and you always tell me that means something." She was right. You had told her some things to tell when people were lying. You look away from you, they play with their hands. That and some other behaviors she might come across.

"It was nothing." You answered.

"Did he hurt you?" She asked as her eyes flickered between you and the road.

"What!?-" She cut you off.

"Cause if he did I will make his life a living hell-"

"No, no, no, he wouldn't do that after what I've told him- he wouldn't do that period, end of story." Your words came out more flustered then you had wanted them to be. He wasn't a bad guy- far from that. He was Jack's hero and your everything. "We just got into an argument, didn't talk for a couple of days but everything's fine now."

She looked at you again trying to see if you were lying. She raised an eyebrow like she didn't believe.

"I promise, ok?" You said reassure her that everything was ok.

Before she had a chance to say anything else you pulled up to your apartment building. She parked in your spot.

You were quick to get out of the car by yourself. No one had let you walk on your own when you were able to. Nothing hurt but your movements were still restricted. You were about to open the back door to grab your bag when you heard your mom's voice.

"Don't even think about it." Taking your hand off the handle you started walking up to your front door.

You had successfully made it to the elevator and to your front door. You unlocked it to see your apartment was spotless.

"You cleaned my house?" You asked and put your keys down.

"You were asleep for 3 days, me and Aaron were taking shifts watching you. I couldn't sleep-"

"So you cleaned." You finished for her.

"Yeah it was messy." Your mothers standards for cleanliness are extremely high. But as long as your underwear wasn't everywhere you were good.

You threw yourself down on your L shaped couch and put your feet up. Your mom sat next to you and turned on the tv. You could feel yourself drifting off when your phone buzzed. Unlocking it to see it was a text from Aaron.

Did you make it home yet?

Just walked in the door.

You sent him a picture of you and your mom on the couch.

Save me a spot.

I'll think about it.

You smiled and out your phone on your chest and allowed yourself to drift off.

~~~~~

Aaron and the team had been working on a case in North Carolina for the past couple of days. Once he got off the phone with you they had gotten a lead.

After a high speed chance that went on for miles they were finally able to go home. The flight was a quick hour. Soon enough they were back at the office. It was only 10 o'clock so decided to call and see how you were doing. But you didn't pick up.

She's just sleeping.

He told himself. But the paranoia got the better of him. He took his bag and jumped in his car. It wasn't a long ride from the office to your house. He unlocked the door to see all the lights were off.

When he walked in further he saw you and your mom fast asleep on the couch. You were wrapped up in a blanket with your face snuggled into a pillow. When he crouched down in front of you, he could hear the quiet snores coming from you.

He smiled to himself and he placed his hand on your side. He shook you lightly waiting to see your big eyes.

"Hey." He whispered. You groaned and opened your eyes.

"Hi." You smiled the best you could. "You didn't tell me you were coming home."

"I texted you but I guess you were sleeping." He smiled and kissed your forehead. "Let's get you to bed." He said and moved to pick you up. You stopped him before he could. Sitting up all by yourself you could tell he was smiling even though it was dark.

"See I can walk all by myself." You smiled and waddled to your room. He had woken up your mom to tell her to sleep in the other room because you heard her say good night.

You heard the sound of footsteps getting closer then your sidelight turned. You groaned and turned to your side.

"Before you go to sleep, I got you something." He walked over to his bag and pulled out a box it's a bow on it. You furrowed your eyebrows and sat up in your bed.

He handed you the small box before explaining. "The hotel we were staying in, was across the street from a jeweler that specialized in custom orders."

You undid the bow and opened the lid to see a silver pendant that laid horizontally. The chains were thin. The numbers looked exactly the same. It looked just like your old one.

"It had just gotten finished when I went to go pick it up." You picked up the middle part. Your finger grazed the number like they did the first time. He saw the confusion on your face when your finger touched the other side of the pendant.

"I had something else added to it." He clarified. You pulled it out of the box and turned it over. There was another engraving. This time it said 'I love you' but it wasn't in any font. It was his handwriting. It was a mixture of his cursive and regular writing.

"Thank you." You whispered. You were so quiet he could barely hear you.

"Anytime." He said and whipped away the tear that had fallen. He kissed your lips and helped you put it on.

This time when your hand went to your chest there was something there.


End file.
